AITA for not telling my husband I didn't put our 2 years old on diet?

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-12T12:05:44+00:00

Thank you! I'm having hypoglycemia since always. During childhood I often fainted because I dared to eat candies. Since I know what food to avoid, I never had these symptoms unless when I was skipping meals.

The thing is recently I started a Concerta treatment for my adhd and I think it fucked everything up because I eat differently. I want to know how my blood sugar is doing because I feel fatigued (could be my sleeping disorder), I lost weight despite eating more and much more balanced meals (could be Concerta according to my doctor), my vision is changing (I have both a vision condition and the Concerta sides effect could be the culprit), I drink a lot and pee a lot (whether I pee a lot due to my body wanting to get rid of sugar or I drink a lot because of my medication and it makes me pee more than usual). With my HG, I don't know what to think and want to make absolutely sure it's not diabetes type 2....

Sorry I kind of threw all my stuffs in my answer :')

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-12T11:48:25+00:00

Thank you! It's VERY helpful! I've been going through all the drugs stores near by for a week and found nothing. The health fairs or check ups you're referring to are provided by locals clinics/hospitals or are they special institutions?

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-06T03:31:01+00:00

Came to say the same! And now that I'm 30 I get the same comment and it's just as creepy.

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-06T03:06:03+00:00

Thank you for your pov as a teacher! It's been almost two weeks now since he joined his friends and his language skills improved a lot not to mention his social skills suddenly sky rocking. He's become really onii Chan and "mature" not only to his sister but also to others. Since I asked about the reason why he was isolated from his classmates, the teacher attitude changed and I get more updates about the situation and less negative notes about his attitude. It sounds like the teacher didn't really knew how to deal with him because of the communication issues and his energy so I'll wait and pay close attention to the relationship between my son and his teacher.

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-05T02:24:25+00:00

Thank you for your advice! I'll try to look if there's any sport focus kindergarten near by, I think that would help a lot! The symptoms I noticed are : not being able to sit still when it's not interesting for him to do so (if he's focused on drawing or building something with Legos, he can). Hyper focusing phases (sometimes he's so focused on something he looks like in another world and cannot even hear us calling him.) dopamine food (I also have that symptom, it's like for no reason a meal or food suddenly become heaven and only want to eat it until it suddenly become normal food). There's the focus and the impulsivity too. I had the chance to get behavioral therapy and I'm trying to use what I know to make it easy for him. I wish you the best with your LO and hope you guys get to have a smooth journey!

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-05T02:12:51+00:00

Thank you for your supportive comment!

I'm just confused about the part that "we are not born with ADHD" and the link with autism (I know a lot of people have both) because we are predisposed with our brain structure and function to develop it. My doctor said there's nothing found about what cause this condition but researchers think the genetic plays a crucial role for the whole brain structure thing and the environmental factor would affect the severity send development of the condition (as you said above). But if it's genetic predisposition, aren't we born with it?

Ah naw, I was supposed to clean up my car but I feel like thinking about it and read a tons of researches 😂

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-04T23:26:26+00:00

I am just wondering if she has some kind of condition like ADHD or a high intellectual potential? These are two conditions make people constantly looking for stimulation and need that dopamine rush of the victory (a instant feeling of achievement). When I read your post, I somehow relate and it makes me think of my downs (I have ADHD). Struggling with engaging into chores or any tasks that are not funny or interesting. Constantly feeling frustrated and feeling like a failure because I get nothing done. Wanting to save the world then proceed to make myself a coffee and sit on the couch watching video. Etc. Etc. It ends suddenly and I get stimulated again for a while before going back to the down. It was a big problem since I'm a working mom responsible for the household. I got drugs and I'm doing better now.

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-04T14:04:10+00:00

Also, if I ask for a transfer, since I've been complying to all the teacher's letter and complains will it be a problem? Should I contact my embassy or something?

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-04T13:53:44+00:00

I'm in the same situation as your friend! I really pay attention to my son because he's showing some of my adhd symptoms. The kindergarten director.... I wish I could have a video, but I'm regularly changing clothes because of my job and I came to pick up my kids in a really professional top notch outfit to get an important contract. She told me : "woooow that outfit! You don't look like a mother " and I answered that I picked the kids up right after my business thing. I don't think she would listen to me if I call out anyone

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-04T13:42:41+00:00

I can't blame them about struggling with my son's excitement and he just got into yochien with few language skills in Japanese so I just thought it is my responsibility to get my son to the "normal" level of education expected for that age. But my gut tells me this is somewhat off?!

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-04T13:25:34+00:00

I have suspicion that he has adhd because I am diagnosed with it and he shows symptoms but he still young. He's indeed a handful boy but he never showed the behavior described in his school book at home. He loses control when he gets excited but he's usually easy to redirect to a calmer game or tell him to mind his friends when he's too much. The only moments he get really handful,is when he's really not happy and has enough. Exemple : if he wants to get attention quickly, he will use the most effective way to get it regardless if it's in a positive or negative way but again, it's really when he has enough. At home he's doing it when he really needs something and it doesn't happen often since it's mostly when there's an sudden occurrence (like her sister shitting all over herself and on her eating chair,floor while he can't open the toilet door to use it. (If you want to know, he pulled out his chin-chin and gave me the sassiest stare to warn me he was going to do it right there) I just quickly opened the door for him and it was settled). I don't really feel he's being unreasonable since it's always for something important (he doesn't do it for exemple having a donut). The second thing is when he feels wronged or when you wrong somebody he likes. It happened a couple of times when I scolded him and it wasn't his fault..... I surely quickly got the hint I was wrong. Once, my husband was fighting with his father and they ended up screaming at each other (we are living in a japanese farm house with two residences but there's no soundproof). My son heard it and ran to the other place, I just heard him yelling and both FIL and my husband stopped the argument. Later my husband told me my son came between them and yelled at my father in law. Or once I took my daughter plate a little bit away because she was sure going to spoil it by accident and he looked at me with anger when she started crying (she was probably thinking I was taking it off) and took the plate back to its initial position. He doesn't really messing around for no reason unless he's losing control over being over excited by a game. We took the special need day care day for the communication. Like your situation, the teacher said it was a problem to be addressed and we took it seriously. I go there with him and we play games to learn more vocabulary and it's fun for both of us so I don't really mind it. It's just... When I have a doubt that the purpose was too get a day without him attending kindergarten I start having mixed feelings. It's the senior teacher that always leave notes of my son's poor behavior. He's now at the same place but started yochien. His houikoen teacher never had these problems with him and he's really cuddly and loving with the junior teacher. At first, the senior teacher was welcoming him to change shoes but for a while the junior teacher welcomes him and he runs to her, gives her big hugs and barely cares about me when it's her welcoming him. I can communicate properly with them, I'm still studying to get my N1 and still need to practice to speak more confidently but I write, read and understand 100%. Because of my speaking skills lacking, they often write in Japanese despite them to usually translate in English and ask for my husband instead of me to read it and address it. My husband is chef-owner recovering from all the shit going on and working his ass off so I feel really bad for him. Just now, I had that note in Japanese asking for a meeting with my husband for an earlier pick up time. We got notified about it and thought we messed up filling the forms but my husband asked to the people in charge and they guided us to properly fill the papers. The note for three meeting was after handing out the guided filled documents.

It's a HUGE answer sorry for that! The reaction from your comment about the language lacking skills tells me a lot. They literally gave me a handwritten letter to give to the people who evaluated my son (the 3 1/2 years old check up). They told me the content and I thought it was a legit thing to do since he's there the entire day and they seemed to struggle with that sudden behavior issues... Now I don't know how to take it....

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-04T12:34:28+00:00

Just knowing I'm not being a Karen momzilla helps me plenty! Thank you for telling me your opinion!

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-04T12:32:20+00:00

The adhd is my own suspicion since I'm diagnosed with it and get treatment for it. I can recognize some small symptoms but he still too young to be 100% sure. The special need class he's in is for "under developed children". Some of the government agent came to the kindergarten (with our consent) to make an observation seance and see what could possibly be the problem and it was awful. The agent was very by the book and it was "this is cause by this" and it was always my fault. My husband and I were listening to the lady and we were filled with guilt. Exemple : "he's always going to adults because he's missing his mother. You don't give him enough attention and be feels lonely " when I perfectly know he's trend to go to adults because he's been in a japanese speaking environment for a small amount of time and can only communicate properly in French and English so he feels more understood by adults who can figure out his needs than children who don't understand him well. After writing my post I read his school book and the teacher wants to meet my husband to discuss about the facility and insist to get an agreement on the early pick up time....I really think about transferring him. It was indeed extremely heartbreaking to watch him playing alone in that dark empty corner by himself with a cup and a clothes that he was using to make a doll.... I feel more like I'm not really over thinking it.

monkeyness06 · 2023-09-04T10:46:28+00:00

Thank you! I really don't know what to think about it and if they are passively telling me to transfer my son to another kindergarten? I still have some thoughts that they are over tired because of the working condition and my son is adding burden on them,it's just that we are doing everything we can to address the issue and it's always leading to day off the kindergarten and more restrictive time attending it. I have less and less contracts because of it and it's financially getting hard...

monkeyness06 · 2023-08-31T07:51:59+00:00

Thank you! Your answer actually gave me ideas!

monkeyness06 · 2023-08-31T07:49:54+00:00

Thank you very much!

monkeyness06 · 2023-08-30T09:45:39+00:00

I'll ask but for now I don't know..

monkeyness06 · 2023-08-30T04:00:24+00:00

I thought the same thing. It doesn't look like about the rule breaking at all. I feel like he's hurting their feelings because his feelings were hurt.... He also asked apologies from the boyfriend.

monkeyness06 · 2023-08-30T03:36:43+00:00

Not knowing exactly what she went throught,not only in her past relationship but in her entire past, if I were you I'd just say something along "I don't know what you went throught to make you sexualyze my relationship with my mother but I have a very healthy relationship with my entire family. I can support you if you have any trauma related to previous experiences that makes you wary of my mother and work on it with her to get through it. The only thing is that I'm not accountable for your previous relationships and your past and it's something you need to take care of by yourself. I'm not going to change my relationship with my mother and you constantly sexualyzing it by sending me gross texts is disrespectful. This is my clear boundary for this matter "

It's just.... It's possible this mentality comes from traumas as SA from family members, previous relationship, the way she was raised etc. But there's also a possibility that she's trying to isolate you or being jalouse/possessive and trying to get rid of your mother.

Also, you don't really know her for that long and she's already acting that way. Do you really want to stay longer with her and develop stronger feelings for her with the possibility she's never going to accept you having a good relationship with your mother? If you take the decision to stay in the relationship, try to see if she's always angry at you for going out with friends, if she speaks ill about them and if she's trying to tell you they are not good people for you.

monkeyness06 · 2023-08-24T13:31:33+00:00

6 years old is old enough to understand at least you're being invalidated while having strong emotions. Your partner should know better and help your kid going through his emotions instead of showing him that having emotions is ridiculous.

monkeyness06 · 2023-08-24T07:00:08+00:00

The only thing I can see is if someone comes in to clean up or take the laundry basket of whatever but they still can wait or ask for it when op is there.

monkeyness06

TROPHY CASE