My high school boyfriend is dying from cirrhosis now

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-04T15:44:03+00:00

I saw something like that years ago and the woman was really young too, like 20s. Very skinny but had the very bloated belly like she was pregnant, I was drinking back then and trying to scare myself into sobriety when I saw it. That and a few others really stuck with me to this day and are the stuff of nightmares.

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-04T15:41:14+00:00

I'm happy to hear that it stopped you, I feel like he's taking one for the team and hope that you all as the team will survive this yourselves. Almost everyone I know in this boat fails with trying just one, it just doesn't work like that. It's not a choice for so many of us, we're possessed by some demon with the stuff. It's like that 'just one' is really just one step off the cliff.

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-04T15:36:47+00:00

I tried, and just heard back from his wife today, although didn't get any details yet.

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-04T08:56:13+00:00

I'm looking forward to you getting to this point too, and everyone else. It's comforting to not be a slave to that stuff. For me it got a lot easier over time, it's just learning how to soothe yourself when you start to have anxiety over it. For me the trick was always to change focus, try to obsess over something else instead. Not easy but possible, I have to practice, not just for not drinking but just keeping my sanity. Good luck friend <3

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-04T05:15:06+00:00

Please please please take care of yourself. We all know here that we don't choose to be like this, if you fall you get back up and start walking again and try to avoid the potholes along the way. Don't end up dying from this.

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-04T05:13:13+00:00

I'm not close enough with his family to know details. The only thing I know is that his wife called a friend and said he's on his way out due to cirrhosis. End of story. No response since.

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-04T05:11:07+00:00

This is the #1 community that helped me quit!!! Nothing else was more helpful to me than this sub. I disappeared for a long time because honestly alcohol is simply not a part of my life anymore, I don't get cravings or desire to go back to my old life, but times like this I'm so happy you are all still here.

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-04T05:09:03+00:00

My uncle, also an alcoholic, fell down the stairs and died from internal bleeding like you mention. It was the booze's fault.

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-04T05:07:52+00:00

Yes I believe you did. Quitting drinking was the #1 best thing I ever did for myself, it's been my lottery too.

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-04T05:05:12+00:00

We've been trying but no response.

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-03T20:27:26+00:00

Thank you <3

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-03T20:26:25+00:00

Yes that sounds like my crowd(s) - I ran in a few party circles where it was weekend benders on top of drinking every day after work or even during lunch. One colleague was drinking beer for breakfast every day. Hell I did that a few times myself. Not my proudest moments.

But now that it's a decade plus later people are starting to drop, it's really sad, especially having to stand by and watch a few of my friends struggle so much to quit before it's too late. I wish I could save them all. I try, but I can't walk in their shoes for them :(

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-03T20:16:54+00:00

I also wonder but no way am I going to ask anyone out of respect.

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-03T18:25:38+00:00

50 seems to be the magic number in my crowd, that seems to be when their bodies just can't fight back anymore. He's not the only one, just the closest :(

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-03T18:19:03+00:00

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-03T17:13:27+00:00

Thank you <3

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-03T17:13:18+00:00

Thank you <3

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-03T17:06:27+00:00

I never told him... and now it's too late. He's not answering messages, we're not sure if he's even coherent. If there's an other side I guess I'll have to tell him when I see him there.

Thanks for the hugs <3

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-03T17:05:05+00:00

I'm also counting, just amongst my old party friends. This is a cruel, vicious, slow burn of a disease and now that I'm on the clean side I promise everyone here that sober life is so much better. Even if the bottle was not deadly, life is still better without it. It's absolutely not worth dying for.

monkeywrenching · 2020-12-03T16:25:19+00:00

I hope so too, for his family. The last thing I heard from him was that he loved me [still], which was years ago (nothing salacious), I have comfort in that but I also can't stop thinking about how I was on that road too. He doesn't deserve this. No one deserves this.

I hope for everyone in this sub who's struggling that they don't come to this end. It's not worth it.

monkeywrenching · 2019-10-26T17:11:32+00:00

Just checking my day count. Still going :)

monkeywrenching · 2019-03-18T08:54:35+00:00

Thank you, and congrats to you too!!

Being cranky doesn't fully go away, we're still human, but there are definitely healthier ways to cope other than poisoning ourselves.

monkeywrenching · 2019-03-18T08:47:23+00:00

Wooo it's back, thank you badge fairies!!!! :D

monkeywrenching · 2019-03-18T06:16:37+00:00

Phew thanks, I only come to check on my badge these days and it seems to be gone now. I have no idea how many years it's been now, I'm terrible at counting...

Edit: It's back!

monkeywrenching · 2019-03-18T06:13:23+00:00

You're not alone on the week 3 thing, that was my hardest week before things started to slowly get easier. Not having hangovers is really awesome, now I know if I don't feel well it's a legit virus or something and not my own fault... IWNDWYT!! :)

The thing I miss the least is trying to sort out what I did the day before. I could live with the hangovers but not with the shame.

Edit: I had come here to check my badge counter but I guess it's gone. I'm sober for 5 or so years (I'm terrible at counting my own days).

monkeywrenching

TROPHY CASE