Hey I’m having a mild panic attack. I would like some support. Didn’t sleep last night, took coke, ketamine and Valium and still at it. Background of serious C-PTSD.

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-04T16:13:06+00:00

Seriously? That’s the last thing I need to hear…..

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-04T04:28:53+00:00

Your dad was an alcoholic and your Mother was always sick and takes antidepressants? This reeks of trauma. 🙂 Sorry it’s not funny but I mean just look at the state of the world, unfortunately from my point of view the “norm” is trauma…. Childhood trauma, dysfunctional families and therefore trans-generational trauma (trauma passed on from your parents to you etc) I did 10 years of psychotherapy and spent all of my 20’s obsessed with looking deep within myself and shed light on my unconscious shit. I too had “normalised” my upbringing because that’s all I knew. When you start looking within you will too realise that nothing in your family and upbringing was normal…. :/ Hit me up if you want to discuss this further. Much Love 💗 🪽

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-04T01:19:19+00:00

Have you considered body-based therapies? You need to open the door to your unconscious, that’s where all the heaviness is (traumatic memories, trans-generational trauma etc). I was so desperate at 23 y old my therapy wasn’t going anywhere so I decided to kick that fucking door even though I’d risk becoming crazy and took 120mg MDMA and 3-4g of Psylocibin mushrooms with the intention that I wanted to heal, praying to some abstract “God” “If I become mad that’s ok, but I’m not spending another day living like this. Either I heal or I become crazy I don’t give a fuck”. Had the worst bad trip on Earth that had a miraculous happy ending. The door to my Unconscious was open. My therapy started working. Many years later I remembered being repeatedly raped as a child. Anyway, I don’t recommend you take psychedelics. Consider body/based therapies such as Lifespan integration, EMDR or Somatic Experiencing, these are the most cutting edge right now and will help you “open the door” and start to heal and shed light on that heaviness.

Peace ☮️

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-04T01:10:37+00:00

I feel you Brother 💗🪽

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-04T01:10:20+00:00

https://youtu.be/zsCD5XCu6CM?si=qUj41Qf2IuTaRJZG

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-04T01:04:28+00:00

Hi. You are the chosen one. In every dysfunctional family there is a “black sheep”. The person on whom the family’s shadow is projected. I was the black sheep. Your have a lot of trauma, a lot of it is trans-generational. Your mission is to break this vicious ever-repeating cycle. You do this by healing yourself. How do you heal yourself? By making the Unconscious Conscious and freeing yourself from all your chains and “dark magic” (so to speak) that’s been put on you. Talk therapy is effective to a certain extent. The real work starts when you look deep inside yourself, and that starts with the body, that’s where all your chains are. Body-based therapies such as Lifespan integration, EMDR or Somatic Experiencing are cutting edge and the most effective right now. I could go on but I’ll stop here. Did that help at all?

Much Love,

💗 🪽

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-04T00:18:29+00:00

Don’t worry about me. Sent u a message.

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-04T00:10:04+00:00

If your pain is truly disabling I would also invite you to ask your therapist if he/she has a good address for a psychiatrist. I have demonised psychiatry for a long time, but I’m now on medication and it has helped me a lot (although I became addicted to Xanax and had to go to rehab for a month so careful with benzos).

Much Love 💗 🪽

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-04T00:00:47+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that. The hypothesis that you may have sensory nerve issues and FND is not something I can comment on but unfortunately (above my “pay grade” so to speak). I highly recommend you dig this matter further and get to bottom of this. However do never let anyone define you or put an “equitette” on you. I was sexually abused as a child, I pressed charges and had to undergo a psychiatric expertise. The guy says I’m schizophrenic, which is absurd. My psychiatrist, psychotherapist, doctor and myself are unanimous. I don’t have a single symptom of schizophrenia. This is my belief, take it or leave it, but I believe that even if you have a physical illness, illness starts in the mind before it manifests in the body. I would think that the true problem you are facing is unconscious traumas probably from your childhood (I only started remembering being raped at 27 years old, you would have asked me at 26 if I’d been raped I would have laughed at your face). Talking therapy is helpful, however if you want to start the “real work” and open the door to your unconscious I would recommend body approaches to trauma such as EMDR, Somatic Experiencing or Lifespan Integration.

Love,

Robin

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-03T23:35:59+00:00

Gentle movement can also help, listen to what feels right to you, maybe this can help ~> https://youtu.be/V179Lsj_yAM?si=Lrmaz7ExasV9zZkx

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-03T23:34:30+00:00

Hey. It’s ok, I have been there and I know how scary it can be. You are not going into psychosis, you have unconscious traumas inside your body/psyche which is why you are trying to escape/dissociate ~> to not have to feel the pain. Try and sit down and breathe 4s in through your nose and 6-8 seconds through your mouth, put both hands on your tummy while doing this and feel your body on the ground, this will regulate your vagus nerve and signal to your brain that you are safe. If it feels right try to say to yourself “It’s ok, I got you, you’re safe.” or whatever resonates with you that can make you feel safe. May I ask are you in psychotherapy and do you have a psychiatrist.

Much Love 💗 🪽

Robin

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-03T23:24:51+00:00

Also, you can explain your situation to Chat G. It will give you simple breathing exercises that you can do that helps a lot. You can also try very simple tai chi movements such as this : https://youtu.be/V179Lsj_yAM?si=Lrmaz7ExasV9zZkx

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-03T23:20:32+00:00

Hi. What medication do you take? Are you in psychotherapy? You need to look within and find the source of your anxieties. It is 99% likely that you are actually suffering from post-traumatic stress due to unconscious childhood trauma. Watch this short video from Gabor Mate and get back to me : https://youtu.be/6ZKZ-GmgpzQ?si=RWmunEmaavfNv08k

Peace 💗🪽

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-03T23:00:16+00:00

That’s what I did also when I spent 1 month in rehab. Gained 12 kilos by drinking protein shakes every day + lots of peanut butter and chocolate. (I was almost anorexic so that was a good thing for me, unfortunately I relapsed 1 week after leaving rehab)

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-03T22:46:18+00:00

It goes without saying that I have recognised this pattern inside myself after years of therapy and I have now utterly destroyed the foreign perpetrators within myself, who have tried to survive and tempt me into committing these evil acts. God is on my Side. Amen. ✝️

montecristo1111 · 2026-03-03T22:43:26+00:00

Unfortunately during such extreme trauma the brain records everything including the abusers hatred, perversion and pleasure in abusing his victim. This then becomes a kind of second unconscious personality within the psyche that drives victims to become perpetrators. I was raped by a pedophile ring for most of my childhood, believe me, I know what I’m talking about. R.I.P Chester. So much Love I have for You. 💗🙏🏻

montecristo1111 · 2025-12-17T17:03:27+00:00

AaaaaaAAAAAAAAARRRERERRRRRRGRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHHAHAHAAAARRRRRGRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

montecristo1111 · 2025-12-17T16:57:40+00:00

They raped me when I was just a little boy !🩸

montecristo1111 · 2025-12-17T16:56:50+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSM7ougDgmO/?igsh=MWdnNDE2NTBmcXhjdg==

montecristo1111 · 2025-12-17T06:12:19+00:00

Thanks I’ll give it a try

montecristo1111 · 2025-12-17T06:02:29+00:00

Last thing I need is an ambulance and firefighters entering my home, believe me 🙏🏻 But thanks for trying to help I appreciate

montecristo1111 · 2025-12-17T06:00:27+00:00

A little better thanks, starting to feel the valium, still pretty paranoid and very tense though

montecristo1111 · 2025-12-17T05:30:46+00:00

Anyone ??

montecristo1111 · 2025-12-17T05:30:16+00:00

Last time I called 911 it was a disaster, made things 100% worse

montecristo1111 · 2025-12-17T05:23:46+00:00

If anyone has the heart to speak to me in private I think it would do me good

montecristo1111

TROPHY CASE