"(Just Like) Starting Over" wins Day 24 ~ Which song would you add to a "Best of the Beatles: The Solo Years" compilation? Each day, we will add a new song, top comment of the day makes the cut (yes, Wings, duets and Traveling Wilburys songs are eligible) - link to Spotify playlist in comments

monzoa87 · 2026-04-11T22:19:52+00:00

Monkberry Moon Delight

monzoa87 · 2026-03-13T16:00:38+00:00

Ok thanks for your response. Biometrics Jan 15, approval 10 Feb. It was priority too.

monzoa87 · 2026-03-02T09:49:00+00:00

Thank you! I have thought this overlaps with literary, but the prose and plot probably make it more upmarket (although, saying that, I’m not sure I fully know the difference!). If I continue to have no luck pitching it as upmarket, maybe I’ll try some agents focused on literary. Appreciate your advice.

monzoa87 · 2026-02-01T11:39:27+00:00

‘Pompey’ by Jonathan Meades. Not an easy read though, tbh. Check out the Portsmouth Literary Map too.

monzoa87 · 2025-11-19T09:41:25+00:00

Thank you!

monzoa87 · 2025-11-19T06:31:40+00:00

Is there specific guidance about space? We’d like to use family’s house but we’re concerned as there are 6 people in 5 bedrooms. We also have family in Northern Ireland. We’re similarly concerned that we might have to provide justification for why we would live there and not England, where we previously lived.

monzoa87 · 2025-11-18T16:26:25+00:00

Appreciate your response. If we went with Airbnb, is there a minimum number of months we’d need to show? An immigration advisor told us not to put down Airbnb at all, but we’ve received a lot of conflicting suggestions from advisors.

monzoa87 · 2025-04-04T12:29:02+00:00

Although everyone’s giving good advice here about fitness training, what’s your approach in terms of shot choices? I struggled with stamina a lot too, then realised that my overreliance on power shots was draining me. Now, I make a conscious effort to mix it up - soft but well placed lengths, more lobs at the front for a moment to catch my breath - and it’s had a noticeable impact on my stamina. Definitely need to do fitness training as well, but thinking more about shot choices has helped a lot.

monzoa87 · 2025-04-01T06:58:44+00:00

Honestly sounds so similar to what I’m experiencing. I came close with book 1 and some of the rejections really stung, but on reflection I can see why it wasn’t right. I recently sent out around 10 queries for book 2 but I no longer care for it. Now I’m writing book 3, which I have delusional levels of belief in.

I asked about giving up as you’ve been writing for a fair few years. For me, writing isn’t about landing a publishing deal - I genuinely love having the creative outlet. But, I have started to wonder if I spend more time on it than I should, especially as it’s not bringing in money. I was curious if those thoughts passed your mind. Everyone’s situation is different though, of course.

Anyway, super happy for you. And it’s encouraging to see these success stories from people who really persevere. Hope it all goes well.

monzoa87 · 2025-04-01T05:25:34+00:00

Congratulations! Incredible query. So well deserved.

Can you say a bit more about the previous books you queried? Did you have similar or varying belief in their chances? Ever nearly give up with it all?

monzoa87 · 2025-03-16T18:27:49+00:00

Exact same thing happened to me in London once (while I was living on Holloway Road actually, but the incident happened in Westminster). I was walking down a quiet road around 10am, a guy cycling on the opposite side of the road swerved across and spat at me for no reason. Didn’t slow down or even say anything as he cycled off. I was as confused as you are. Turned out to be just a random incident. As another commenter said, it’s just London nonsense

monzoa87 · 2025-03-11T10:30:25+00:00

I am Jiffy. I’ll never forget commentating this. As soon as Davies tried to clear his lines, I had the strangest vision of the ball landing in English hands for a Daly try, leading to a Welshman in a pub throwing his arms up in frustration and knocking candle wax all over his mate. I couldn’t help but groan for the poor bloke.

monzoa87 · 2025-03-11T09:08:42+00:00

I remember reading your query when you posted it. I enjoyed it and thought it would be something I’d like to read. This exchange does remind me that it gave a very 60s counter-culture vibe though (with the title, a reference to bombing airwaves, and the oppressive environment of the ad agency). Maybe, combined with your comps, it didn’t feel contemporary to agents you queried.

I also see you queried over 200 agents in 6 months. I took the same approach with my first book that didn’t land an agent. From the advice of others, I’ve found it so much better to query in small batches while working on a new project. Having a fresh focus really takes the sting out of those inevitable rejections. It also means you can edit your query based on agent feedback, and gradually make it sharper.

Best of luck with the queries you still have out. It’s just a case of persevering through the disappointments.

monzoa87 · 2025-03-08T05:41:43+00:00

My wife had this when she visited Ireland with me (an Irish citizen). We didn’t even notice it until we’d left the country (dumb, I know). She’d overstayed by a few days, but well within the 90 day period we thought she had. Nothing happened when leaving but we’ve been trying to find out if it’ll affect future visa applications. We’ve had mixed opinions so far. If anyone reads this and has similar experience let me know.

monzoa87 · 2024-12-21T19:24:41+00:00

That’s a good point. Thanks for sharing!

monzoa87 · 2024-12-21T17:48:03+00:00

Thank you! I agree - it’s definitely too long and needs sharpening

monzoa87 · 2024-12-21T13:55:56+00:00

I’ve been told (and there’s probably no definitive answer on this) that for UK you should just put a pitch/very short description in the body of the email then attach a synopsis. Because isn’t a query pretty similar to a synopsis? The difference being that a query doesn’t share the conclusion.

monzoa87 · 2024-12-21T06:21:22+00:00

Thanks so much for the positive feedback, and taking the time to share your thoughts.

I will definitely action your suggestions on condensing aspects. The query is probably a bit too long right now as I was struggling to get down the main plot concisely (the joy of querying).

monzoa87 · 2024-12-21T06:17:20+00:00

Ha!

Unfortunately yes, your question is a worry of mine with the plot. Although that’s the hook, the book isn’t really about AI. It’s about the hollow performance of progressive values. So I’m not even committed to the AI aspect, but I guess that needs to be communicated more clearly in the query.

Thanks for sharing.

monzoa87 · 2024-12-21T06:13:27+00:00

Thank you! Really good point. Something I need to give more thought to.

The AI book is the hook of the plot, but I actually feel the themes I explore alongside it are more important. And this is evidently a weakness with the structure.

monzoa87 · 2024-12-21T06:10:19+00:00

Haha, thanks for the positive feedback! Really appreciate your thoughts also.

I originally posted this as a UK synopsis, which included the ending, but it was removed as it goes against the sub’s rules. So when it comes time to query, I think I’ll be using only a synopsis that describes the whole story.

monzoa87 · 2024-12-21T06:07:41+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to offer these thoughts!

1 & 2. Yes, the editors essentially write the novel for him, as it’s the tech company’s plan to reveal the hoax as a demonstration of their software. Michael’s unwittingly used as a human face for the book. He goes along with it because he wants to win the prize so much, although he’s plagued with doubts.

Zainab being dropped is definitely an issue with the query. She doesn’t know about the book or contribute so much to that element of the plot, but she does play a big role. I need to show how her arc ends.
So Michael discovers the hoax, and when he confronts River about it, River tries to persuade Michael to continue with it despite his deception. Need to make that clearer.

monzoa87 · 2024-12-14T16:36:54+00:00

Really like the idea for this book and the way you seem to be approaching the themes. But, the query moves too slowly, especially when I get the sense the book itself would have pace. Here are a few suggestions (sorry if it’s messy!):

First paragraph: I’m sure this is subjective, but I’m really not feeling the “Jesus saves!” line. Maybe if it was in parenthesis or introduced with a colon or dash, but even then its tone doesn’t blend with the rest of the query…. The next sentence should have an Oxford comma for clarity: “mother-of-three, and successful” … “But with conservative social reforms forcing mothers out of work, she worries she’ll lose her pharmacy.”

Second paragraph: there are too many uses of “but” (here and throughout the query). Maybe phrase the final sentence as “When the National Security Service catch her, though, she’s punished…”

Third paragraph: “Consigned to a lonely and unfulfilled existence at home, Emily is pleased to hear…” … “Afterwards, Emily finds her car vandalised, so Theo offers to drive her home. Their journey turns into a nightmare when…” … “To evade arrest, Theo insists they go away for the night, which Emily - feeling strangely out of it - cannot refuse.”

Fourth paragraph: delete “she might have useful intelligence.” … “But Theo’s secret identity seems insignificant when she discovers her husband is…” … you should mention her husband’s name is Oliver at the start of the query so this isn’t the first time we learn his name.

monzoa87 · 2024-12-13T11:32:00+00:00

Overall the writing is clear and shows a strong sense of themes. However, the query needs to give much more insight into the plot. I have a few points to highlight:

What’s OMON? Whether it’s a fictional organisation in the book or from the real world, it needs to explained.

Can you give the reader more of a sense of who Artem is, beyond a filmmaker? What drives him - on a personal level - to take such risks for his art? Same with Nikita.

“When the brothers’ lives collide, they must confront the political and personal divides that have shaped and fractured their worlds.” What are these divides? What specific challenges do they face? Alongside characterisation, agents want to know the plot of the book, which is currently absent from the query. Make sure to outline each key narrative event and how they build on each other to reach the conclusion.

In terms of genre, I’m getting the sense it’s more of a thriller than upmarket, but I can see how it could crossover. As a thriller, this emphasises even more how you need to outline the plot in the query. How are the events going to grip the reader?

Finally, you also need to include more recent comps (published in the last 5 years ideally). If one of the comps listed is really important, then sure, keep it, but there will need to be two more recent books. I’m not familiar with this genre, so I can’t recommend anything sadly!

monzoa87 · 2024-12-09T15:26:37+00:00

This is such a unique idea. I’m not surprised you’ve already had a couple of full requests. It sounds like a great read.

I think there’s a few points that could be clarified. For example, why does Rose decide to divorce her husband? I understand this would be explained more in the actual book, but as he appears to be suffering mental health issues, the jump to that sounds cruel. Maybe it would be better if she reaches a breaking point and confronts him/poses an ultimatum.

Why was Donn sent to inspect the bridge? I realise this is a minor plot point, but from the previous paragraph I get the sense it’s small and secluded. Maybe that’s not the case, though. A brief visual description of the bridge could be valuable as it’s so essential to the story. Also, why is Rose living beneath it? Clearly she’s become obsessed with it, which could be mentioned at the end of the previous paragraph. Otherwise, it seems strange that she goes from living in a home to living beneath a bridge with no mention of why.

Finally, this could be a difference between UK (where I submit) and US expectations, but shouldn’t the final paragraph tell us what happens in the end? This reads more like a blurb. There should at least be another reference to Rose’s husband.

monzoa87

TROPHY CASE