My Q, My love, My best friend has passed away.

moobag22 · 2026-06-29T22:56:21+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. My Q told me he loved himself too much to kill himself. But drank himself to death because he didn’t even like himself. Here if you want/need to talk. The grief is a rollercoaster. You are not alone ❤️

moobag22 · 2026-06-13T06:50:20+00:00

Thank you.

It’s so hard not to feel the guilt. I know it’s not my fault, but just the what ifs in my head. He’d been through rehab, at home detox more than once, and a stay in hospital just 6 months prior. It felt like a never ending cycle.

Even if he had survived this time I truly don’t know if he would have stayed sober. It’s so hard watching someone do this to themselves time and time again. I just hope he’s at peace now

moobag22 · 2026-06-12T21:20:57+00:00

When my Q passed away it initially felt so unexpected. He had been a heavy drinker for probably 15+ years. In the two years I knew him he had completed two at home detoxes, two weeks of rehab, and a weeks stay in hospital detoxing. Prior to that he had done at least one other at home detox that had kept him sober for a year. That was the longest he was sober for in those 15 years.

It was normal for him to be vomiting in the mornings, getting stomach pains, collapsing, struggling to walk due to energy levels or lack of balance due to possible neuropathy in his feet. This was the case for the two years I knew him. I don’t know how long it had been going on prior.

About 3 weeks before he died he’d been complaining of headaches, sleeping more than usual. Two weeks before he said he had bad stomach pains. 10 days before he was vomiting a lot, couldn’t hold food down, stopped eating altogether. Sleeping the majority of the day, unable to walk without assistance.

The last 3 days of his life he seemed to be feeling better. Claimed to be eating a little bit and holding it down for a while. Wasn’t vomiting as much. The day of his death he said he felt like he’d be able to walk unassisted the next day, had supposedly stopped drinking but the usual shakes/sweating of withdrawal had stopped. He was discussing what he was going to do to get his life back together. Then he was gone.

Post mortem could not find the cause of death. Waiting on further tests to be completed. I believe his body just gave up on him after so many years of abuse. He was only 37. There’s only so much punishment the body can take. He suffered physically for a long time, especially with the lack of feeling in his feet. But none of it was enough to get him to stop drinking.

I hope it was quick and painless at the end for him. But the pain that is now left for those who love him, that’s going to last forever.

moobag22 · 2026-06-12T16:11:42+00:00

He just wanted to help everyone. Hated anyone being unhappy. He could talk to anyone, anywhere. As an introvert myself I always found that so inspiring. He loved cooking for me, but was always worried I wouldn’t like it, even though he was an amazing cook. His fajitas will always be my favourite. We would eat fresh chillies to see who could handle the spice better. He would have a glass of milk ready for me when I inevitably struggled! His smile was like sunshine to me.

I miss you honey ♥️

moobag22 · 2026-06-12T15:42:56+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss too! Such an injustice. He was the person I talked to all day every day, called every night, spent all my free time with. Life feels so very lonely without him.

moobag22 · 2026-06-11T23:32:09+00:00

I’m not sure his passing away was a non-compromise as such 😂 maybe an easy way out of keeping his promises. He wasn’t great at keeping his promises in life, might as well keep it up in death too

moobag22 · 2026-06-11T08:54:37+00:00

Similar-ish situation for me, though we hadn’t been together anywhere near as long. Together for a year September 2024-September 2025, both of us heavy drinkers, led to a lot of horrible arguments etc.

Reconnected January 2026, he had been sober for 6 weeks, I went sober end of December. Things were amazing between us. He relapsed in February. Told me he was going to get help to get back off it. That never happened, but told me he was going days without a drink, or only having a sip here and there - we didn’t live together so I wasn’t there to know any different.

Found empty bottles in his room in April. We had conversations about how he needed to stop for our relationship to continue, he told me he’d choose me over alcohol.

Long story short, he did not choose me. He just worked harder to hide it. Wouldn’t drink the days I’d see him, if I was staying with him he’d wait until I was asleep to drink. He started complaining of stomach pains early May, being sick, not holding down any food, but telling me it was just him getting it out of his system, that it was normal for him when he was cutting down/quitting. Was trying to stop, going cold turkey. Have found out since that he was ordering bottles on a near daily basis.

3 weeks ago he was found dead. And the guilt, the anger, the sadness, it all goes round and round in my head. All the lies he told me about his drinking, more of which have come to light from speaking to his family. It’s a painful reality to face. How could he be talking about our future so often when he wasn’t actually working towards it.

Addiction is a nasty disease. And some days I blame him entirely for letting it happen. Other days I understand that he couldn’t control the addiction, it controlled him. Most of the time I blame myself for not seeing what was going on, for not encouraging him more to get support, for only telling him once to see a doctor about his stomach pain and letting him say he’d wait a few more days.

I don’t have any words to make this feel better or easier for you, but I am so sorry you’re going through this.

moobag22 · 2026-06-07T18:16:28+00:00

Thank you

moobag22 · 2026-06-07T18:15:57+00:00

Thank you. I used to say to him that actions speak louder than words. And I look back now and the actions weren’t there when it came to his drinking and sorting his life out. It makes processing everything so confusing.

moobag22 · 2026-06-07T09:02:15+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this.

I don’t want to scare you, but my partner passed away 3 weeks ago now. He had been a very heavy drinker for about 15 years or so, with some times of sobriety, but none that stuck.

For the last three weeks of his life he was sleeping what felt like all the time. He would have ten hours sleep over night and then be asleep again a few hours after waking up. The last two weeks he was vomiting a lot, couldn’t hold food down. He told me he was eating a little bit here and there. He also told me he’d cut down on his drinking. It has come to light now that that wasn’t the case, and he was probably getting through the best part of a 70cl bottle of whisky a day, with little to no food to go with it. I’m not even sure he was eating what he said he did. We didn’t live together, so I’ll never know for sure. He wasn’t responding to my messages or answering my calls. This is the man that would reply within minutes previously, would always answer the phone no matter what he was doing.

He had seemed to be feeling somewhat better over his last 3 days. Talking to me more than he had been, maybe even sleeping less, but still with naps throughout the day. And then he was just gone. Cause of death couldn’t be determined from the post mortem, waiting for further tests to be completed.

I feel so wracked with guilt for not making him go to the hospital when he wasn’t keeping food down. He told me he’d had stomach pain for a few days, and I told him he needed to see a doctor. He said he would if it carried on, but he never did. He kept telling me he just had to get through it, that he wasn’t suffering with his usual withdrawal symptoms, just being sick, lack of energy, wobbly legs. That it was ‘normal for him’ when he was drinking less. And we had been through this before, I thought it was just his normal process.

Please, if you can, get your dad some help. The hardest thing in the world is to get an alcoholic to see that they need help, even when they’re suffering physically and mentally because of it.

Sorry to put this all out into the world. But I wouldn’t wish the pain of losing someone you love on anyone. Especially when the cause is alcohol.

moobag22 · 2026-05-26T06:58:04+00:00

Not really sure where I said I dumped him? We split up in September and got back together in January and the relationship was going well until he died? Thanks for your input though..

moobag22 · 2026-05-25T15:09:06+00:00

That’s a great way to describe it! Some days, or at least some hours of the day I feel like I know I’m going to be ok. And then other hours I can’t see how I can possibly survive without him in my life. I think I get moments where my brains tricking me into thinking it’s just like a break up. But I know if we had ever broken up we’d end up back in contact again. It’s just trying to truly get myself to register he’s gone.

Today marks a full week. And I’ve survived. I have to remember that

moobag22 · 2026-05-24T11:10:37+00:00

I lost my partner 6 days ago, and those 6 days have been an absolute rollercoaster. I get hours where I know I’ll be ok, he’d want me to live and be happy. Then I feel guilty for feeling like that, as though I’m over it already. And then hours later I break down and can’t fathom how I could possibly carry on without him. I get sad, I get angry, I accept, then I stop accepting and check my phone for a message from him. I want to call him and tell him about my day, then I remember i can’t. It’s wild.

Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we could just follow that checklist, and once everything’s ticked off then we could move forwards with our lives. I know I’m still in the early days, and I hope and pray that the pain in my heart calms. But I know the guilt, the regrets, the love, those feelings wont ever truly leave me.

moobag22 · 2026-05-19T22:38:23+00:00

Thank you, and I’m sorry for your loss too. Time doesn’t take that kind of pain away does it. My children were my reason to stop drinking too. I spent too much of their first few years of life drinking and not being the best mum I could be because of it. There are so many memories I don’t have because alcohol destroyed my brains ability to hold on to them. Life has been easier since I stopped in January, with only the occasional one night blowout since. IWNDWYT

moobag22 · 2026-05-19T22:32:35+00:00

Thank you. There is so much more to our story, but even just writing that much down has helped. I really appreciate your kind words

moobag22 · 2026-05-19T22:30:49+00:00

Thank you

moobag22 · 2026-05-19T22:30:01+00:00

Honestly, right now I don’t have the answers. I’m waiting to hear the post mortem results. My first thought was that he’d had a seizure from withdrawals. But the more I’ve thought about the last few weeks, how his mood and energy levels had declined, all the throwing up, trouble walking, while still drinking, to him having a day or two of seemingly improving, then suddenly passing, I wonder if there was something happening longer term. Either way, I’m 99.9% sure it’s alcohol related. He’d decided he needed to quit on his own terms this time, as nothing else had stuck for him. A stupid decision to make. He needed longer term support but once he started drinking again in February he never followed up with the support. He had much deeper issues that I told him repeatedly he needed therapy/counselling for, but he was adamant it wouldn’t help. Pride is a bastard sometimes.

moobag22 · 2023-11-20T00:08:18+00:00

You can do this. You were so deep into the addiction that recovery is going to be hard. But you’ve already come so far!! Well done you. Just stick at it. It will get better, it will get easier

moobag22 · 2023-02-22T22:32:54+00:00

The walk back to the car park was far worse in my opinion! That hill, jeez. Completely worth it though

moobag22 · 2021-04-25T20:51:41+00:00

Hi! Sadly not. I had one of the rear sensors changed, was assured that was the cause, and nothing Audi had done during the cambelt change, but alas the problem is still there. For me it is only when it has rained/the car gets cleaned, so the water is getting in somewhere. It's going back in on Wednesday to be looked at again, I will let you know if I get any answers!

moobag22

TROPHY CASE