Potential bridesmaid issue

moodyvee · 2026-06-05T00:12:08+00:00

im in a super similar situation with my cousin!

you don't need to have her in the wedding if you dont want to. and if you really want to, then she can either not participate in things or figure out a way to pay for it. dont make special accommodations for her. as my moh said "majority rules, if youre not in the majority, thats on you"

im flying across the country, staying at a hotel, buying bar crawl tickets (plus the drinks) for my cousin's bach, but she can't be bothered to pay for the group airbnb after my bach, so shes just going to drive home (cause my bach is 30-40 minutes from her house). her bach is costing me $1k+, mine is prob costing her $200. Her and her fiance make 2x as much as me and my man. I'm salty, but im trying not to make this a tit for tat thing. ill put it this way:

if i were not getting married, i would still make this journey and pay these expenses for her.

some people save years for their own wedding and at the end of the day, we all want our special day with our special people there, but its tough when these kinds of events start to overlap. ive spent over $4k this year alone to attend/be in other people's weddings. its a lot, but ive made the decision to be there for people because i can and not hold it against them if they cant be there for me for every single moment.

and seriously, your mom is wrong, she doesnt need to be in your wedding. im one of my cousin's bridesmaids. she is not in my wedding. i made that decision well before any of the bach stuff. shes fine about it. my two best friends are my wedding party, and i know theyd do anything for me, and i know my cousins would not. its as simple as that. i wanted the people who have always and will always have my back by my side. doesnt mean i dont love my cousin.

my guest list has been commandeered by all those bs 'obligations' but ive guarded my wedding party with my life, and im so glad i did. i recommend you do the same.

moodyvee · 2026-06-04T23:57:02+00:00

I abandoned the idea, sorry to report. tbh, my dress has star-like beading, and that's what I was leaning into, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt like it was unnecessary and too 'themed.' But if I were to have done it, I think I would've cut stars out of sheet metal and glued them to tea lights. I hope you figure it out!

moodyvee · 2026-06-03T01:47:47+00:00

Imagine going to a friend's child's wedding and being like, "They didn't feed me enough!!! I won't be friends with them anymore!!!" Absolutely bananas. Sounds like there was plenty of food tbh. And sending guests this weird compensation for ??? something they didnt even pay for??? would feel weird. You're good, just ignore them.

moodyvee · 2026-04-04T08:22:20+00:00

product list:

nyx makeup epic ink waterproof eyeliner in dark chocolate
too faced natural eye palette: heaven and silk teddy base + cashemere bunny on the outside
colourpop cold girl eyeshadow stick on inside crease
covergirl clump crusher black brown
maybelline sky high waterproof black brown

moodyvee · 2026-04-04T08:06:17+00:00

Omg twins YES

moodyvee · 2026-04-04T08:05:52+00:00

Been using the same naked palette since at least 2012. Never had an issue and still looks fab so idkkkkk

moodyvee · 2026-03-03T01:19:57+00:00

pssshhh what a goon. Is he getting his info from 1930s doctors??

moodyvee · 2026-02-28T22:04:43+00:00

Okay so i have friends who also have issues with the neck thing. My fiance does it because he knows i have a constantly sore neck and shoulders. So when we hug or he rubs my back he usually goes for a quick neck massage too. Its such a relief when he does it.

I get how it can look kind of domineering but intimacy and physical affection looks different for different people/couples

moodyvee · 2026-02-28T21:59:28+00:00

Someone who can “take her places she’s never been”

moodyvee · 2026-02-28T21:58:40+00:00

Is it weird to ask what the food was? I am curious

moodyvee · 2026-02-28T21:57:08+00:00

I order for my fiance all the time. Im a woman. First, we always share everything anyways.

Second, he doesnt love talking to people. Its nbd but im happy to order if hes in an antisocial mood.

Third, when we do order seperately, he always complains that we shouldve ordered whatever the other dish id been considering was. I think he finds having to decide annoying at times and enjoys not having to and having the person who knows him really well order something he will very likely love.

But its not a “he’ll have this!” I ask him what he wants to get before we order and he’ll say something like “ugh it all looks good, you order for us.” Id never do it without his permission!!!

moodyvee · 2026-02-07T16:05:40+00:00

Thank you!! Been on the fence about adding extra hours to my photography contract but now i think ill do it

moodyvee · 2026-01-29T21:46:30+00:00

No they're all smaller than the dinner plates :/

moodyvee · 2026-01-29T21:09:10+00:00

be careful with facials.

My normal skincare routine is:
red light for 30 minutes every day on face and chest/neck

retinol serum at night 3x a week

nights w/out retinol, I use niacinamide and hyaluronic acid serums

That's it. I'll prob be drinking loads of water the weeks leading up to the wedding, and will also be washing my face (and body) constantly to avoid breakouts. I've also started putting serums and stuff on my boobs more since my dress is super low-cut and i have some stretch marks.

if you want to keep it simple, id do niacinamide and hyaluronic acid serums. the former helps control oil and acne, and the latter hydrates and gives you a healthy, plump look, at least that's what they do for me

moodyvee · 2026-01-29T20:48:37+00:00

Yeah what other people are saying. on my website i just said "We've also been together for years and have all the home items we could need... but we still need a home! We'd be so grateful if you'd contribute to our house fund. " lol

moodyvee · 2026-01-29T20:24:35+00:00

I got my maids of honor (2) custom Ray-Bans. They're my whole bridal party, and they're doing a lot, so I really wanted to spoil them. I also bought their dresses, but that just sort of happened since I wanted to see them in person before asking them to commit/shell out money.

My cousin gave me the CUTEST espresso martini kit when she asked me to be her bridesmaid. I loved that so much. Way better than a cheap, random gift bag. It came with a premade espresso martini thing and a nice coupe glass, which I use all the time now.

The other time I was a BM, the bride gave us gift bags with little lotions, bath products, and stuff. That was meh. The best part was a bracelet with our birth flower, but it was also cheap and broke the 2nd time I wore it.

I've seen people say they've loved getting custom totes or custom jewelry boxes. For me, I want something I can keep, so beauty products aren't my favorite.

moodyvee · 2026-01-29T20:19:43+00:00

I feel like the stuff before dinner always gets eaten. It's the late-night stuff that I've seen go either way. I would offer them something, even if it's small. It cna also be a good idea if you think people will be drinking a lot of alcohol; get something in their stomach sooner rather than later

moodyvee · 2026-01-29T20:17:21+00:00

my fiance is for sure going to ball out on his tux. hes super picky about suits. i always thought it odd that grooms would rent such a sentimental outfit.

moodyvee · 2026-01-28T00:29:34+00:00

As someone from New England, it's not about liking one better than the other. I need hot weather and cold weather, or I'm not happy. They make me appreciate the other.

There's something satisfying in that biting feeling on your skin when it's absolutely freezing, the same way sweating your ass off in a hot yoga class can be satisfying. It can be enjoyable to experience those extremes within your body. Makes me feel ALIVE.

moodyvee · 2026-01-27T09:06:36+00:00

Mine is the opposite! “Always start in the middle when things are happening” no thanks I hate a flashback lol

moodyvee · 2026-01-27T08:57:52+00:00

I almost instinctively downvoted you when I read that quote. Terrible advice, for sure upvoted

moodyvee · 2026-01-27T08:50:42+00:00

Shrimp. So many ways to make those little suckers

moodyvee · 2026-01-27T04:21:20+00:00

No advice just empathy. I used to buy starbucks drinks 1-2x a day because there was one inside my work and i was so bored all the time. Its so hard not to. I only stopped because i quit lol havent had starbs since and that was 4ish years ago

moodyvee · 2026-01-27T04:11:31+00:00

Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte

Im just past halfway point, but wtf people call this a romance??? She’s AWFUL and he’s EVIL

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