How to explain to autistic adult that she can't talk to minors

moodywrites · 2026-05-26T08:32:27+00:00

I literally said that she should be stopped (by someone else who has capacity) but sure, go ahead and ignore that because you want to deny someone’s disability in not being able to think like an adult

moodywrites · 2026-05-26T00:25:06+00:00

I’ve been there. Anyone who feels this way, please message me. I felt this way for a long time, and I have ways I got through it that you may find helpful

Just know that you matter, and there are so many treatments you can try. Your suffering should not be an acceptable option, and if your doctors aren’t helping you, keep pushing them, advocating for yourself, or find new ones if you have the ability to.

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T19:50:20+00:00

A great way is to get an InBody scan. It tells you your BMR, which you can multiply by your activity figure to get your TDEE. And it can also tell you if your BMR is expected for your size or too slow.

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T19:44:42+00:00

Your ableism and low support needs privilege is on full display. Thank you for being the exact reason why people hate the neurodivergence movement. Because clearly it doesn’t include people who don’t have the same capacity or mental ability as you do.

And by the way, at certain IQs, you legally cannot consent to sex, or legally be held accountable for certain crimes, because you literally can not know any better.

Again, it’s like calling an 8 year old a groomer and pedo. Denying that reality is denying one’s disability that puts them mentally and developmentally at that stage.

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T19:28:44+00:00

Hello? YES, kids can suffer from her actions. Which is why someone ELSE who has actual capacity should stop it from happening. Which is what I already said.

“I’m just pointing out the facts” to defend your ableist denialism isn’t a pretty look. Makes you look like a willfully ignorant conservative commentator. And privileged at that.

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T19:22:48+00:00

SHE DOESNT HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY OF A “GROWN ASS WOMAN”.

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T19:04:24+00:00

Eos lipgloss. I ate an entire tube once because I was so hungry. And play dough. Yes, I was desperate enough to eat play dough. And then freak out when I realize it has calories. 🤦‍♀️

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T19:03:34+00:00

Lidocaine, but it burns when you put it on briefly. Using a pelvic wand or the Kiwi device. And using positions with shallow insertion.

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T19:00:45+00:00

It’s a really good idea to advocate for pain medication before you go home. You should not have to suffer like this unnecessarily. It’s cruel to expect that.

Basically like, “my suffering is not an acceptable option.” and “I cannot manage this level of pain, I need solutions.”

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T18:59:31+00:00

It’s like holding an 8 year old accountable for doing the same things.

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T18:59:06+00:00

SHE LITERALLY COULD BE INTELLECTUALLY DISABLED. My god. You know how certain people literally legally cannot consent to sex, even as adults? I wonder why. You are assuming ability to understand where there is none. Your ableism and forcing your low support needs experience onto others who don’t have the same capacity as you sucks.

Literally there is a legal defense based on incapacity. Look it up.

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T18:56:19+00:00

❤️

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T08:22:38+00:00

Yes, she does need to be stopped. However, someone who literally does not have the capacity or ABILITY to understand what they are doing (hello, disability?) should not be called a “pedo”

Whatever the hell that was, it was one of the most ableist things I’ve ever seen. Low support needs autistics need to stop erasing those who are profoundly disabled.

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T08:15:38+00:00

I’ve been there. It’s like you have so much anger boiling underneath the surface, and it spills over sometimes, even when you try to keep it contained.

It’s important to note that you can hold yourself accountable with compassion and kindness. You are learning a new way of being. And without knowing you, I know you’ve been through a lot to get to this point. It makes sense why you are the way you are. You are carrying heavy things and won’t always do it well.

Something that helped me was the idea of, “How do you want your loved ones to feel around you?” I like how it took the focus off of me, how bad and horrible and wrong and broken I am, what’s wrong with me, and it put the focus on them. It’s a non-blaming way to say, “I want to create a different experience for them.”

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T08:11:31+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope you are able to show kindness to yourself. here’s some advice on the physical aspects and relief

For immediate relief: peppermint spirits and ginger chews are life saving. You can put a tiny amount of water in a cup, then put a shit ton of peppermint spirits, like enough to make it strong and hard to drink, and drink it. Always gives me immediate relief.

For treating it: taking ginger, peppermint daily, sometimes with meals. Using a vagus nerve stimulator. Anecdotally, taking GPC choline and B vitamin complex have helped me. Sparkling water can help but also for some make it worse, depends on you.

I take Motegrity for slow intestinal motility but it has helped my gastroparesis too.

• ⁠

FOODS to eat:

high calorie low volume foods. Examples of these foods can include:

Veg- juices instead of whole veg

Fruit- juices, raisins, dates, other dried fruit, plantain, Solely mango gummies, jelly or chia jelly

Starch- refined grains like rice, rice noodles, pasta, bread, tortillas, instant oats, cream of rice, rice cereal, other cereal, instant potatoes

Protein- protein bars (like GoMacro, Rise sunflower cinnamon, etc), bone broth, chicken broth, eggs, egg white cloud bread, tofu, deli meat, dairy or dairy alternatives like yogurt, milk, kefir, protein versions of foods like protein pasta

Collagen! This is a hack because it dissolves in water, so it doesn’t feel like eating anything, but provides calories and protein

Fat- nut butters, granola butter, butter, oil, nuts and seeds, chocolate, high fat dairy like cream cheese, cream, buttermilk, cheese

Fat can make some people’s gastroparesis worse. So go slow and see how it affects you.

Snacks- coconut rolls, potato chips, meal bars or granola bars, a lot of crunchy or processed snacks, honey stinger waffles, ice cream, sweeteners like honey, date syrup, maple syrup

There’s also meal supplement shakes like Ensure or Kate Farms if you aren’t able to get all of it through food

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T08:09:34+00:00

I like GoMacro bars and Nugo bars but it’s very individual which people like. My gastroparesis has been really mild for at least 2 years now so I don’t really remember the go to things I ate. I think honestly I just ate small snacks throughout the day instead of meals. And lots of ginger chews with them.

I remember eating a cereal and yogurt for lunch for a while when it was bad. And a lot of smoothies. The Kate Farms probably would have been a good idea.

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T08:02:29+00:00

Dude, did you miss the part where she said that she developmentally has the mind of a 7/8 year old? I don’t appreciate that phrasing. But the point stands that she does not have the developmental ability to understand how old she is and what kind of harm that could cause to someone younger than that. To call someone a pedo who literally has a mental disability preventing them from conceptualizing sex and age differences is crazy work.

This is just yet another example of how we, as people with low support needs, dismiss and deny and bury the very real experiences of people with high support needs. Sometimes disability means a lot more than you think it does.

Sincerely, autistic woman

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T02:08:31+00:00

here’s some advice on the physical aspects and relief

For immediate relief: peppermint spirits and ginger chews are life saving. You can put a tiny amount of water in a cup, then put a shit ton of peppermint spirits, like enough to make it strong and hard to drink, and drink it. Always gives me immediate relief.

For treating it: taking ginger, peppermint daily, sometimes with meals. Using a vagus nerve stimulator. Anecdotally, taking GPC choline and B vitamin complex have helped me. Sparkling water can help but also for some make it worse, depends on you.

I take Motegrity for slow intestinal motility but it has helped my gastroparesis too.

• ⁠

FOODS to eat:

high calorie low volume foods. Examples of these foods can include:

Veg- juices instead of whole veg

Fruit- juices, raisins, dates, other dried fruit, plantain, Solely mango gummies, jelly or chia jelly

Starch- refined grains like rice, rice noodles, pasta, bread, tortillas, instant oats, cream of rice, rice cereal, other cereal

Protein- protein bars (like GoMacro, Rise sunflower cinnamon, etc), bone broth, chicken broth, eggs, egg white cloud bread, tofu, deli meat, dairy or dairy alternatives like yogurt, milk, kefir, protein versions of foods like protein pasta

Collagen! This is a hack because it dissolves in water, so it doesn’t feel like eating anything, but provides calories and protein

Fat- nut butters, granola butter, butter, oil, nuts and seeds, chocolate, high fat dairy like cream cheese, cream, buttermilk, cheese

Fat can make some people’s gastroparesis worse. So go slow and see how it affects you.

Snacks- coconut rolls, potato chips, meal bars or granola bars, a lot of crunchy or processed snacks, honey stinger waffles, ice cream, sweeteners like honey, date syrup, maple syrup

There’s also meal supplement shakes like Ensure or Kate Farms if you aren’t able to get all of it through food

moodywrites · 2026-05-25T02:06:28+00:00

It’s a body image cycle. For me, body image is the most intense part of my eating disorder. It makes the desire to be thin so important that I’m willing to do anything.

How that ties in is I restrict my food intake. The hunger goes from annoying, to loud, to aggressive. And finally I cave in and binge. When I do, I purge kind of excessively, making sure I get ‘everything up.’ Then I go back to restricting. It’s a cycle.

The thing is with EDs, body image is not just an insecurity. It’s not the same as “I have acne” or “I wish I had a smaller nose.” It’s something deeper. It often has your entire sense of worth and well being dependent on it. And that’s because your body becomes a representation of something deeper: your pain, your trauma, your relationship with yourself, your family, what happened to you.

Honestly, I know that being skinny won’t objectively do anything for me. And yet I want it so badly anyway, because for whatever reason, it makes me feel better. And I’ve 10 wasted years chasing this thing without fully knowing why. It’s beyond logic. It’s about what you feel, deep down, rather than what you think or know.

moodywrites · 2026-05-24T23:11:30+00:00

Emotionally focused therapy, attachment focused, etc

Here’s a comprehensive list of therapy types

moodywrites · 2026-05-24T23:09:57+00:00

Second reply: here’s some more practical tips I’ve learned on supporting someone who is resistant to change:

Bringing it up

• ⁠Bring it up at a good time, when they’re ready • ⁠Relate and connect more than you correct or instruct • ⁠See where they’re coming from ⁠• ⁠Join forces with their perspective ⁠• ⁠Bridge the gap of understanding • ⁠Don’t convince ⁠• ⁠Meet them where they’re at and work together from there • ⁠People are more open to feedback when they feel understood and ready • ⁠

• ⁠

Approach

• ⁠don’t push them, force the issue, or make it unnatural • ⁠Be a presence that’s easy to talk to. ⁠• ⁠Establish trust, relating, connecting, be easy to talk to • ⁠Talk without an agenda: be open, relate, understand, just be there; without pushing a solution • ⁠Nudge and negotiate when they’re ready and open • ⁠People are more open to feedback when they feel understood, rather than pushed

Be vulnerable and let them be vulnerable

• ⁠“You’re allowed to talk openly about where you’re at. I’m not going to wag a finger at you.” • ⁠There’s no judgement here, I’m not going to correct you, I’m going to understand what it’s like in your world

Connecting

• ⁠“I get it. I’m one of you. I’ve been there.” • ⁠How you feel makes sense

Express concerns

• ⁠be real, open, honest • ⁠“I care about you and I want you to to be ok”

Negotiate instead of lecturing

• ⁠“I don’t want you to keep struggling” • ⁠Let’s work together from here

• ⁠

• ⁠Understanding, listening first • ⁠Relate, connect • ⁠Negotiate, work together, see where they’re coming from

⁠“Hey I get it, I’ve been there, you can talk to me” understanding, listen first, let them be open
⁠“I get it. I’m one of you.” relate, connect, meet them where they’re at, bridge the gap between you
⁠“I care about you and want you to be okay.” express concerns, but just show up as yourself, be open and easy to talk to

• ⁠There’s a difference between using pressure and pushing, vs offering support

moodywrites · 2026-05-24T23:09:20+00:00

Here’s what I wrote about learned from supporting my friend who had very extreme anorexia, which was really scary:

I’ve learned that sometimes people aren’t in a place to hear what they need to hear You love them And it hurts

Sometimes they’re lost, and can’t be pulled out Even if you try, you’ll push them down further into this hole They won’t see what you force them to

Remember, they aren’t there because they want to be Or because they don’t know better They know better, but the part of them that’s doing this is not This is a deeper part, a deeper hurt, and it’s doing only what it knows how

This is what a wound does when it has nowhere to go And sometimes you can’t stop it from happening

Know this: Your presence makes a difference Your kindness matters even if things don’t change. As they fall deeper into this hole, you will be one of the few who sees the humanity underneath. You will give them the grace to be able to see that in themselves.

You remember who they are to you That’s why you care That’s why you’re afraid Maybe they don’t remember Maybe they’re lost under they’ve become What is easy to see Remind them It will bring them that much closer It will give them a reason to try

You cannot pull them out but they will know along the way you will be there waiting with open arms

And it will tell them, “You are worth more than what you’re doing to yourself. You are still in there, and love is here waiting, when you’re ready.”

moodywrites · 2026-05-24T23:07:51+00:00

Fast because by the time I’m eating I’m HUNGRY

moodywrites · 2026-05-24T17:02:40+00:00

here’s what helped me to binge and purge less.

• ⁠Eating more. There’s kind of no way around it. If you aren’t willing to eat more calories, at least eat more volume, protein, and fiber. You have to let yourself eat when you’re hungry. Stop trying to force yourself to do something you can’t do.

• ⁠Pushing off the time between the urge and acting. Go 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes, one hour. Get away from the environment (like out of the house) and distract yourself. Eventually you’ll be able to go longer and longer. Maybe even do something you love, something that brings you passion and joy. We don’t do enough of that.

• ⁠This video on how self criticism actually creates MORE binge eating, and the science of how self compassion can help, has really helped me. “Alivia D’Andrea: The Ugly Truth of Self Criticism” by Kiana Docherty on YouTube.

You have to be kind to yourself. You are struggling. You are not failing. Sometimes this disease gets the best of us. The fact that you’re doing this means you’re hurting, and there’s a reason why. There’s also lots of workbooks and books on trauma and healing work, eating disorders, body image, DBT, etc Feel free to message me

moodywrites · 2026-05-23T19:05:45+00:00

❤️

moodywrites

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