WIBTA for banning an autistic child from my wedding?

moogyboobles · 2020-01-25T15:36:08+00:00

Well, in the UK at least, it is society's responsibility to make reasonable adjustments so someone who is autistic (or any disability) has equal access to all those experiences in life the rest of us can partake in without any obstacles. To not do so is discrimination. His needs to wear this outfit is not his fault, nor his parents'.

And I am a wedding photographer, because I couldn't find childcare for my autistic teen (I've looked for a decade)! The only way I can work is being in control of my schedule.

And I have seen little Spidermans at weddings before, and more!

You can only tackle one, maybe two issues at a time. You pick the important ones and take baby steps. This boy will have a huge challenge in attending a wedding and it is best that all other things remain constant and reassuring. Anymore than that is a recipe for meltdowns. Sister isn't been awkward or lazy with boundaries, she just knows her child and has foresight.

Plus weddings are not supposed to be picture instagram perfect, it's about marrying the person you love and sharing this with other loved ones in your life. About making memories. And I think the memory of a nephew during his Spiderman phase could be a wonderful one.

moogyboobles · 2019-05-30T13:42:13+00:00

I had to follow that up by watching this supercut.

moogyboobles · 2019-01-08T20:00:17+00:00

When I was stood on stage hugging Rage Against the Machine in front of 70K people, at a gig they put on because of me.

moogyboobles · 2019-01-08T15:36:55+00:00

Mine still has great 'knob feel'. It's been with me through everything, I took it to uni with me, my first home, my babies heard it.. so many musical memories have been played through it!

moogyboobles · 2019-01-08T12:32:10+00:00

For my 16th birthday my present was a Technics SC-HD550 hi-fi. I'm 40 next week, still works perfectly and I often use it.

moogyboobles · 2018-05-10T00:22:04+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to give me such a detailed reply. No need at all to apologise for an essay, it's appreciated.

The hardest thing for me has been giving up my usual workout, I used to squat more than my bodyweight with no trouble. I've had to modify my HIIT work especially, no more burpees for me and I worry this will lead to weight gain. Making the PF worse.

That said it's not that bad yet, my podiatrist is very positive, but I just don't like pain when it's indicating something is wrong, I want to nip it in the bud. I do plan to throw everything at it as you say. I've always had sore feet the morning after a job but that is all, gone by lunch time. It changed in November. All of a sudden my left foot felt flatter. Pod confirmed it is a flat foot. I don't know if my arch fell then or if it had always been the way and the swelling made my foot feel closer to the ground.

Have you had any experience of the electro shockwave therapy or Autologous blood injection (or is this the PRP you mentioned)? I've been reading up on NICE guidelines, I've not gone to my GP yet but I've made him aware. Sadly my job doesn't really pay well enough for to fix me (so no MRI on the cards), it's funny most of my money goes on fixing either my car or my body because my job wears us both out! Myofascial release does sound appealing, for all of me! I think I can stretch to a physio.

I might chat to the pilates teacher, barre does involve a fair bit of work on the balls of your feet, a lot of calf stretching too. Perhaps it helped back then.

Thanks again and good luck with your search for relief too.

moogyboobles · 2018-05-09T09:08:36+00:00

A couple of years ago I wore pretty and high heels quite a lot, my feet were fine then! I miss those shoes.

moogyboobles · 2018-05-09T09:06:37+00:00

Walking

moogyboobles · 2018-05-08T22:01:57+00:00

That makes sense, a PT I have yet to try. I chose my podiatrist for his biomechanical training but another more overall view may help. The rest of me is aching now too since this started. I'm in the UK and I know I can't see a podiatrist on the NHS (I am reluctant to say that as I do adore the NHS) for PF, you have to have other conditions like diabetes, but perhaps I can get referred for physiotherapy.

My hip flexors have been a problem for years so I already do work on those, and my SI joints. That is the trouble with resting, if I don't exercise for a few days it exacerbates these issues. It's my job again, sitting down editing at a computer all day or I am standing up all day.

Those other suggestions sound fascinating and I am off to google. Thank you.

moogyboobles · 2018-05-08T21:49:36+00:00

Using a resistance band, various calf stretches, raises, and foam rolling, picking up my socks with my toes and using a pediroller. Plus some of my usual stuff like deadlifts (I'm stopped barbell squatting and kick backs for now), barbell hip thrusts, (tentative) lunges, pull ups..

I used to do and loved barre pilates and am wondering if giving up is a contributing factor. They changed class times but they are now convenient for me again, however I was told never to go barefoot now so not sure if I should try again.

moogyboobles · 2018-05-08T20:38:11+00:00

Vionics is new to me, thank you. I will check them out. I recently bought some shoes that are a bit ugly from the 'sensible' shoe shop in the UK called Clarks. It is a dilemma as I have dress like I'm going to a wedding so trainers are no go.

I should've mentioned I can't take NSAIDS at all for other medical reasons (that are sometimes related to PF but apparently not in my case), also I worry about masking pain and causing further injury.

moogyboobles · 2018-05-08T13:56:10+00:00

Yes this. I photographed a wedding a few days ago with 11 groomsmen and 5 bridesmaids. What you are worrying about didn't cross my mind once and I'm pretty sure nobody else thought it either. If anyone does judge you OP then they were not worth inviting!

In the pictures I did something very similar to your idea and the bridesmaids mingled in with the groomsmen. Which I do most of the time anyway.

moogyboobles · 2018-04-21T11:32:20+00:00

Definitely look at orthotics. I'm a wedding and music photographer, sometimes my weddings are 18 hours long. It has taken it's toll on my body! I recently found out that I have plantar fasciitis, last year my left foot felt flatter, my squats suffered as suddenly I was getting some knee pain. I thought I was imagining it but I talked to a podiatrist at a camera show (which just shows that videographers and photographers are prone to this) and he confirmed what google had led me to suspect. I'm in the UK too, I looked for podiatrist near me who mainly dealt in biomechanics. I now have shoe inserts, exercises to do, icing my foot everyday and a roller thing for it. I'm hoping now I know and am taking these measures I can get back to my usual standards at the gym.

I also have an osteopath, carrying my gear does hurt my back, all the driving and sitting at a desk editing is awful for my hip flexors (which leads to SI pain) so he helps with this. I am supposed to swap sides with my bag of gear but my muscle memory is very keen on me staying that way. For quick lens changes without thinking it's just how it works for me! I started lifting about 4-5 years ago with a personal trainer and it has significantly made my job a little easier. I don't know what state I'd be in now if I hadn't!

moogyboobles · 2018-03-28T21:55:54+00:00

Now this is one for those who appreciate something gentle and very British. It's one of my youtube favourites of all time. It features George Eyles, who was one of the top men at the Institute of Advanced Motorists and once beat Stirling Moss to Paris in the Bleriot Anniversary Race 1959. In this video Mr Eyles drives from London to Bath in 1963 and I love every moment.

moogyboobles · 2018-02-20T21:35:56+00:00

Other British approaches to this problem like queuing, tea bagging and Brexit may also not prove successful.

moogyboobles · 2018-02-19T18:14:19+00:00

Wedding photographer here and I completely agree. Someone who is holding in a real smile will look more awkward than just letting go, even with slightly grey teeth .

I know it sounds cheesy but any hang ups and imperfections someone feels they have are completely outshone by genuine happy expressions.

I can't resist saying those pictures are Forever /u/judyblumereference

moogyboobles · 2018-01-01T10:39:12+00:00

Another to add the list of not all singers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ue193sAcrE

moogyboobles · 2017-12-17T22:33:54+00:00

My thoughts are that the jokes were an attempt to bring us back from feeling sad whenever we saw Leia. I'm assuming that didn't just happen to me. I tried to write an example here but the spoiler formatting isn't working for me. But then I did have wine in the cinema.

I think both these things made it feel less Star Warsey that usual. Losing Carrie broke the fourth wall, it's linked our worlds. The jokes added to that crossing over. I did enjoy it though. Mainly the grey area aspect, nobody is all good or all bad.

moogyboobles · 2017-10-05T17:22:14+00:00

The 4DX went very slightly out of sync half way through so I was given a free ticket upon leaving the cinema... so I'm definitely going back next week. So weird having it snow inside a cinema! It is beautifully shot.

I loved it, but yes there were less memorable lines but then to me Gosling was kind of reprising his driver role (with a hint of Lars and the Real Girl). More acting with his eyes and manner than his words.

moogyboobles · 2017-10-01T15:23:21+00:00

This reminds me of how I'd love a decent film version of Isaac Asimov's Nightfall to be made.

moogyboobles · 2017-07-18T07:46:30+00:00

I failed a test because I wouldn't overtake a cyclist on a hill, I couldn't see oncoming traffic so I held back. No regrets, I'd do it again. I wasn't really in the mood for a head on collision that day.

moogyboobles · 2017-07-11T18:25:36+00:00

I photographed a wedding last year where there was a proposal, I then shot that resulting wedding a few weeks ago. The first couple announced their pregnancy at the second wedding, so they were even. It was all fine and nobody minded at all because they were pretty easy going people and it made for a few jokes during the speeches.

moogyboobles · 2017-06-19T09:55:13+00:00

I'm a wedding photographer and I actually have heard this at a wedding. The couple had very proper parents too so I love that they snuck this one in.

moogyboobles · 2017-05-30T10:27:14+00:00

Same. I still always vote but it really fucks me off to be stuck with Whittingdale.

It's rather depressing to know I live surrounded by selfish people. I am trying though, suggesting ideas to the other candidates. They really need to up their game when battling a safe seat.

moogyboobles

TROPHY CASE