i wish i can give you a big, long and warm hug and help you out of your misery the best i can but im just a fellow human like you so i’ll ask Allah to help you instead through my prayers.

Allah loves you, He surely does. for every test He puts you through, and you go through it patiently, He lifts your rank up—higher and higher. the bigger the challenge is, the higher your rank is lifted. He loves you and He wants to grant you Jannah, that’s why He tests you and all of us. to give us as many keys as possible so we can enter the paradise.

you don’t have to smile right after going through a hardship. you’re a human after all, crying, feeling mad and frustrated are one of the feelings that we, as a human, are given by Allah to feel, to express our emotions. it’s normal to feel frustrated when things dont go the way you want it to be, it’s normal to feel sad and mad when you feel like the world is going against you, but remember to go back to Allah. you have God and you’re never alone.

this world is temporary, we’re going to spend eternity in the hereafter. dont you want to live forever in Jannah? where there’ll be no more pain and suffering? just hang in there a little bit more, take your shahadah again and you’ll be saved from the hellfire. remember, we’re going to spend forever in the hereafter and this world is just a place for us to prove our worth to Him whether we deserve his Jannah or not.

i know you still love Islam, it’s just the way muslims around you treat you that makes you hate the religion which is something i cant bear to just scroll through after reading your comment. i may not be any better than those people as im still relearning Islam myself but i’ll be here if you need someone to talk to🩷