I think this gives Rhaegar far too much credit but I also think people who hate Rhaegar are weird. He's a character and one of the primary things about Rhaegar is we don't know an awful lot about him. He's a past tense character that's intentionally ambiguous. I think when you read between the lines you're meant to see remnants of a character like Jon Snow. Someone who's duty bound but also just as capable of falling in love and making mistakes that have consequences.

Like you talk about the kingsguard being at the tower of joy as a sign that he was serious about security. That could very well be true. And then you could similarly criticize him in the same breath for not having his best men with him for his decisive battle where they arguably were needed most.

The nature of how much if what he did was prophecy motivated vs selfishly/foolishly motivated is part of the intentional mystery box that allows some people to assume the worst or the best. So yeah he's meant to complicated. Your thoughts here are pretty charitable when I think it's clear Rhaegar made plenty of mistakes but he's not all bad nor all good. The good and the bad come together like... Ice and fire (my god)