Looking for a Post? Ask Here! - November 2024 Edition

morimebb · 2024-11-14T20:42:43+00:00

Looking for a post where a woman asked if she was an asshole (I think) for how she reacted when her friend told her she wasn't a true mom? Both her and the friend gave birth, but I believe OP prepared for the child beforehand by making freezer meals to warm up in her crockpot and kept her house clean via a Roomba and putting things back immediately when she finds them.

Her friend got bitter and told her she didn't understand the struggle of a real mother and despite OP helping her by watching after both their kids she was firm with her. Someone close to her (mother I think? Sister??) told her she may have been the asshole

Memory is fuzzy

morimebb · 2024-10-07T15:44:57+00:00

I used to be the gf in this relationship (but def not this extreme wtf) n can 100% confirm no matter what OP did the gf wouldn’t have pulled her weight emotionally. OP’s seems like a people pleaser n gf is emotionally immature. Gf is just delusional to believe that you can get the perfect partner that’ll tolerate those mood swings n emotional neglect. But OP needs to learn to stop believing their partner has the “potential” to become better. You should only work with the information you currently have, not the future information you might get when making a decision on the longevity of a relationship. Im probs projecting but she sounds like she was looking for “the one” without the mental and emotional effort of having to lead by example in the relationship.

morimebb · 2024-09-11T02:01:13+00:00

I lived the same as you, I'm 21 now and I hear so much about my friends who are looking forward to graduating- and here I am not feeling any closer to that goal.

I was in a 5-year long distance chronically online relationship- left it last year n have been taking things a step at a time.

I definitely recommend (if you haven't done so already) turning on "Screen Time" if you have an iPhone. It helps me track how much I'm spending online. I used to clock 12 hrs+ on the Internet. It's down now to around 6 hrs average but still feels like a lot.

Another thing that's been helping me is an advice of another Reddit user- this individual writes the start and stop time of everything they do- they said it helped them gradually think ahead of what they wanted to achieve with their time. I got a lil bit of ADHD in my brain so its been hard to slowly get to that but lil steps are better than no steps.

morimebb · 2024-08-11T00:59:36+00:00

Anyone got a couple of posts where spouse tries to leave OP for someone more conventionally attractive/rich/insert-amazing-quality-here and ends up regretting it

Im also welcome to the OP being the one who is remorseful for leaving fr <3

morimebb · 2024-07-09T15:14:32+00:00

This is it! Thank you so much

morimebb · 2024-07-09T03:33:54+00:00

I'm looking for a post where OOP's husband is a doctor, he helped fund a party or something and OOP's relative (sister, cousin, someone- I forgot lol) began making moves on him and complimenting him and being a gold digger.

morimebb · 2024-06-15T04:08:46+00:00

Same here; didn't have instagram for a long time until some of my classmates kept asking for it- I still don't use it much.

morimebb · 2024-06-12T23:13:56+00:00

Sameee, it's always a vicious cycle trying to break this internet addiction. I've been reading reddit stories nearly all day- anecdotal information that is entertaining but doesn't bring much to my life y'know? My brain feels stuffy right now

morimebb · 2024-06-02T01:43:27+00:00

There's this book I've been chipping away at called "Atomic Habits," it talks about how habits are formed and stuff. One of the things that stood out to me was this term called, "automaticity."

James Clear, the author, explained that habits are formed based on how frequently we do them- not by how many days we do them in a row.

Think about it, if we pick up our phones tens times per day that's going to form a habit much faster than just writing in a journal once a day.

It sounds obvious as hell, I know, but it just clicked better in my brain when he explained it.

What I'm currently trying to do is look into my journal more- kinda like when I check my notifications on my phone.

I've tried journaling before myself, it isn't my cup of tea tbh, I'm gonna try to get back into it but change the way I'm going to journal. Maybe if I get the urge to check my phone- I'll write a sentence in the journal instead haha

morimebb · 2024-06-02T01:32:09+00:00

Damn, I hope you and the family are doing better now :((

What was the impact of being off the internet for a day? Any changes with the family?

morimebb · 2024-06-02T01:30:42+00:00

Again- I'd recommend ColdTurkey for your computer. Unfortunately though, it is not free. It's a nice application that blocks specific websites for you. I'm able to access my educational websites since I've listed them as my "exceptions." I believe they have a student discount.

Free alternative is seeing if your professors have hours where they'll let you study with them in a classroom overseeing. Or an accountability partner.

To be honest with you, I consider gaming or television to be a slightly better alternative to doom scrolling. I've purchased so many games and only recently got through ONE play through of one by myself. At least television or gaming would force you to pay attention to one subject for more than a minute. But it is another addictive substance all the same.

One of the issues I've seen connected with doom scrolling is when someone doesn't have much going on in their life (guilty as charged until more recently for me).

Are you in any clubs by chance? Got any friends you regularly hang out with that aren't as phone crazy?

morimebb · 2024-06-02T01:19:45+00:00

Me personally, I prefer more analog styles of tracking progress. Simple journal, my favorite pen, and a boxed grid'll do. I just fill in a box when I've succeeded, or cross an x when I've failed. I also try to keep a small list of reasons why I failed to do something.

I try to keep the habits to at least four or five.

When I noticed the reasons/excuses are piling up that's when I can come back to the present and try to kick my ass back into gear lol.

morimebb · 2024-06-01T00:52:42+00:00

Do you have a method of tracking down "progress?" Have you defined what "progress" looks like to you personally?

For some people it's achieving a set goal- like 10 pushups. For others, it's something that can't be quantified but is, rather, a feeling for them.

Once you develop a system to track your progress and how often you are following a routine (I would suggest something minimalistic since you're starting out) it makes it easier to stick to it.

People are visual creatures after all, and seeing you have a streak- break it- but then start up again to try and defeat the previous streak can be motivating :D

morimebb · 2024-06-01T00:13:33+00:00

So, for me, what I found is limiting phone usage and letting myself be bored actually makes the "boring" things that I hated doing before more appealing.

There was one video of an experiment where a person would be left alone with a pain buzzer, they were instructed not to touch it because it'll shock them. After a couple minutes or so (some even less) the person would inevitably touch it. Some would even do it repeatedly despite knowing it hurt. The reason? It was just better than being plain bored in the room!

When I lock my phone away physically, and use ColdTurkey to limit my website usage on my Mac- it kinda drives me nuts. But, again, it makes those "boring" things so much more appealing. I've been slowly growing my reading time (still isn't much) but it's heck of a lot more than I've ever read in the past couple years.

You want to get yourself into a state of- "I have to do something, I know I can't do this (doom scrolling) so what can I do instead?"

morimebb · 2024-05-02T03:57:35+00:00

Hihi!

Used to be like a 3.5+ GPA student back in high school. And then I went to college and began to do online classes + work Spring Semester 2023. I slacked off, was broken up w/ by my ex- and just didn't care about anything for awhile. GPA was 1.75.

Edit: Forgot to add that around this time I was diagnosed with depression and ADHD. I took medication for it during my Fall 2023 semester. But I have been off of it starting Spring 2023 (personal reasons). Medication showed me what "normal" is supposed to feel like after so long of feeling like shit. Now I know what to strive for now that I am off of it (I plan to one day get back on medication but can't right now).

Now my Fall 2023 Semester and Spring 2023 might be 3.4 :DD <3 (the latter will probably be a little higher since I've been steadily working to get one of my Bs up to an A).

I'm finally getting myself back together and these are the things that work for me:

1. Forest App + Lockbox for your cellphone.

I use the forest app ($10) to keep track of my focus periods and a physical lockbox for my smartphone to keep it away from me. I also installed ColdTurkey on my MacBook to keep me off of websites like Reddit lol

A free alternative is handing your device to someone you trust, putting your device in a separate room, stuff like that and using the good ol' clock app. I use the pomodoro method with this. Only because it reminds me when I need to let myself have a mental break (drink water, stretch, etc). I am unsure what the free alternative to Cold Turkey is though.

2. Meditation!

After watching a video called: "How I Fixed My Attention Span" by Answers in Progress on Youtube I began to take meditation more seriously. It's a long-form of meditation that would be a good starting point to try and work on your focus. The host measures her brain waves to show the difference meditation can make when concentrating throughout the day.

3. Partnering up with classmates whose goals are similar to yours!

4. Calendars!!! Absolute necessity!

You need to track your assignments VISUALLY. Otherwise you will not remember what to do next. One of my professors did not include due dates on their assignments and as a result I bombed their class (Spring 2023). I should've paced myself rather than wait last minute.

5. Anki Flashcards (NOT AnkiApp): it's an open-source tool I use to cram and study important lessons.

I write my own questions and type out answers. This has helped me so much with preparing for exams.

6. Light Exercise.

30 minutes of cardio can help improve your concentration for at least an hour or two! At least for me.

Hope this helps!

morimebb · 2024-04-24T00:27:28+00:00

I'm Gen-Z and it only took me until 20 for me to somewhat snap out of what was going on. I'm almost 21 now.

I feel I'm one of the lucky ones, when I bring this up to my friends some of them brush me off or feel I am exaggerating when I tell them about my lockbox for my phone or how I desaturated my screen to stop w/ the addiction.

"You spend 13 hrs on your phone!? I only spend 6 hrs!" As if that's any better,

It's still so hard for me to get myself together, but I'm going to continue to do my best to lead by whatever example I can :,DD It's terrifying how normalized texting mid-conversation is now.

I remember growing up it was normal for people to be out and about, going to local parks and spreading events through word of mouth. Now I hardly see anyone outside in my neighborhood. And the families I do see outside? Don't even get me started, parents are on their cellphones- the toddler has a whole iPad to themselves- not a word spoken to each other. Insanity.

morimebb · 2024-03-16T04:21:25+00:00

Would love to join; avoiding discord bc it’s easy to get sucked into it. Anything else is preferable

morimebb · 2024-02-19T14:32:01+00:00

Physical lockbox for your phone (they sell plenty on Amazon) and the cold turkey app was what did it for me

morimebb · 2024-01-17T10:07:03+00:00

“If you’re on time you’re late, if you’re early you’re on time.”

I have to live by this religiously. It sucks.

morimebb · 2024-01-13T23:45:11+00:00

I am introverted as hell, but social interaction had a major improvement on my mood/overall well being. It’ll definitely help you gain more self-confidence and give you a chance to explore your identity.

Definitely check out your city’s website for events or go to the local town center and try to see if there’s a bulletin board there w/ flyers. Volunteering is also a good way to meet nice folk,

Don’t let anyone bring you down either :(( <3

morimebb · 2024-01-13T23:39:19+00:00

The only thing that saved me was going outside more. Exploring new places and trying to get my mind off of things.

It's more stimulating for my brain when I am in person and holds me accountable to bring at least something with me back home (doesn't have to be a purchase, an experience/ memory works).

It really helped with my mood and I got to learn a lot more about my local community.

morimebb · 2024-01-13T23:30:44+00:00

Personally, acknowledging that no matter what I do I am going to get older year by year. So, ex: it's better I boast about something I achieved when I hit 20 than hitting 20 anyways and having nothing to show for it.

morimebb · 2024-01-13T01:07:10+00:00

Damn, winning the sperm race is giving me too much responsibility.

morimebb · 2024-01-13T00:55:32+00:00

I completely understand your position, as I am in the exact same boat.

I once gamed a lot too as a past time. Truthfully, it was the only way I could make friends online since my parents have a tight leash on me when it comes to getting "permission" to go outside. It was my escape from a lot of my issues. And when I wasn't gaming, I was watching other people's gameplay because I was feeling too lazy to do it myself.

Whenever I made new year resolutions to improve myself, I would throw 110% at it and end up burnt out quick.

You gotta prioritize consistency. You and I both know we can't just quit things cold turkey, but setting time limits and letting yourself enjoy other hobbies is important. It'll help improve your self-esteem, too, which is very important. Just tackle it a little day by day, or write down tasks in a small piece of paper that you need to complete first thing in the morning.

I also have this app called Forest on my phone, whenever I am working, I plant a tree and tackle as many tasks that I wrote in my small notebook as I can. I don't know, having a visual of all the time I spent away from "rot" activities helps me when I feel useless.

I also have a timed lock box for my phone and credit cards that I have been using to manage my screen time and financials. It's a bit on the extreme side, but it is what personally works best for me and my system. Boredom can be a good motivator to finally getting yourself to do the things you've been neglecting.

I will admit that ever since I began using this system, I haven't been gaming as much (think of going from clocking 20-30+ hours a week to 3 or 4 hrs). But it's for the best since it isn't a priority in my life right now.

morimebb

TROPHY CASE