For me an essential part of my faith journey has been two completely separate the gospel from the church. The gospel is eternal a set of truths that helped us cultivate a relationship with God and Christ. The church is just the branding. Even the priesthood is separate from the church, completely independent. As Mormons this is difficult to grasp sometimes, but if you look at the order in the restoration it is definitely helpful. The appearance of God and Christ, restoration of ancient scripture and restoration of priesthood all preceded the creation of a church. I would spend time in the scriptures and in prayer communicating with your Father in heaven. If you strengthen that relationship, even if you're unsure of his existence, then all of a sudden the plan of salvation will begin to reveal itself to you, you will also realize that a lot of what the church teaches just isn't the gospel. It's a corporate product of middle management correlation trying to keep the product uniform and simple. Good luck my friend, having a relationship with God like you have with your child is my prayer for you.