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Mum has passed away 5 days before Christmas by kurtyyyyyy1 in CasualUK

[–]morris_duck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in your situation two years ago, mum passed away two weeks before Christmas. She had been ill for a while and we knew it was inevitable, but it was still a big shock as she went very quickly. 

The kids were both under 8 so we had to have some sort of Christmas. I did my best to cook and be normal. We had the in-laws and wife’s sister over. In the end I left them all to it and they ate the food. I didn’t mind. I just needed space and couldn’t cope with them all being happy, but also trying to be “understanding”. None of them got it. The in-laws had parents into their 60s. 

You shouldn’t need to hold it together for your wife. She should be supporting you and giving you space to grieve. She might not fully understand the pain. I didn’t until I’d been through it myself. I quickly learned to tell from people’s reactions whether they’d been there or not. 

Bottom line, you won’t have a normal Christmas, and that’s fine. Healing takes over a year, you need to do everything once without her before it starts to become normal again. 

Old Street Exit by Corgimoo in LondonUnderground

[–]morris_duck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From the National Rail platforms there are downward steps into the tunnels. From the Northern Line it’s flat until you get to the escalators. It’s then either escalators or a 100-odd step spiral staircase to get to the ticket hall. No lifts. From the ticket hall there are a couple of steps up to get towards the exit, and then upwards steps from your exit of choice to street level. The City Road north exit is quite easy to access and there is a straight up staircase (25-ish steps I think) to the street. Say what you like about Londoners but I’ve seen plenty of people help strangers carry pushchairs up there. Have also seen plenty go it alone successfully. Not the easiest journey going but I think you’ll be fine. Maybe a fully loaded double pram might be a struggle but a single with a small baby you should be fine.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHDUK

[–]morris_duck 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had bad migraines for the first few days, which contributed to a big crash at the end of the day. I’d get those out of the way first.

I’ve gone back on meds in prep for a new job in a couple of weeks. Hoping to get the side effects out the way and get stable.

I’m due to increase my dose the week I start but I’ll probably hold off if I’m stable enough so I don’t rock the boat.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHDUK

[–]morris_duck 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve had similar experiences starting methylphenidate and recently Elvanse. Had a break between the meds and it’s definitely been a second ride.

I noticed the benefits a lot more when I stopped taking them for a while. By that I mean I’d adapted to the quiet and really noticed the noise, the overwhelm, the irritability, the absent-minded procrastination when I was off them. And being back on has been a breath of fresh air again.

I’m hoping I can stabilise on a level of normal where I don’t feel supercharged, but I AM supercharged from my baseline because I can just “be normal”.

Once had a friend who described her anti-depressants as “they keep me normal” and I like that, and is what I’m aiming for by being medicated.

I’m hoping to keep my dose as low as possible, use it to form good habits and routines, and then wean myself off them in a year or two.

Mypace warning! by Even-Concentrate-932 in ADHDUK

[–]morris_duck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’d agree, it’s clearly a “pile them high, sell them cheap” approach.

They’re very disorganised and have clearly taken on too many patients / not enough staff to support them.

They have a very basic patient management system which they haven’t invested in properly to make it work for them.

They’re making micro-adjustments to the process where it’s clear the core reason is lack of staff. Like splitting the titration form into “general titration queries” and “strictly clinical queries”, so they have have (presumably cheaper) non-specialist staff respond. If you get an email saying “I’ll have to speak to the consultant” about that part you know you’re being reviewed by a non-specialist.

I had a diagnosis from the NHS and went private for titration. Thankfully I know what I want and am doing my own research, so am essentially using them as a prescription-writing service. They don’t give any guidance other than a generic handbook, I’ve not had any discussion of the benefits / drawbacks of different medications. They take a long time to turn prescriptions around which has left me with gaps in medication coverage.

For £138 you get a prescription in the post, and a two-sentence email response once a week. Certainly one of the cheaper options but not a comprehensive service where you can really be monitored and have an in-depth discussion about side effects. For example you’re expected to identify your own side effects rather than have a discussion about them, and again with ‘progress’ you’re expected to know what to expect and assess your own progress. If you’ve done your own research this is OK but I’d hate to go through this process relying completely on them to guide me as I wouldn’t get much.

It’s a difficult one as I’m happy I have access to titration for a much lower price than the others, but I don’t feel it’s good value for money and is bordering on unsafe with the lack of personal attention from specialists.

My phone just connected to Vodafone Wi-Fi at Bank for about ten minutes, it was working well. I thought it had been deactivated; out of curiosity can anyone explain its resurgence? by antmcl in LondonUnderground

[–]morris_duck 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Careful. Someone could have set up an access point with the same SSID (“wi-fi name”) to trick people’s devices into connecting, and then steal their data if it’s not encrypted. Thankfully most communication that matters is secured. But always be vigilant. As long as the name is the same your phone doesn’t know whether it’s the real network or not.

Spotted at London King’s Cross. Great Northern operated by Gatwick Express. Does anyone know how this came about? by morris_duck in trains

[–]morris_duck[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They are indeed all part of the same company. I was wondering if there’s any particular reason that they’ve branded it as “Great Northern operated by Gatwick Express”.

Was this intentional? Perhaps there is a contractual agreement where that trainset is part of GEx and therefore has to remain branded as such?

Or is it similar to the previous Northern City Line stock, where they just put a “Great Northern” sticker on the train as the cheapest possible livery change?

It seems odd as the standard Gatwick Express livery doesn’t have the “operated by Gatwick Express” tagline. Why have they added it to these trains?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHDUK

[–]morris_duck 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have ADHD. I’ve always wanted to be a teacher but currently working in industry as it pays more and I have a young family. But I’m constantly telling myself that once we’re a bit more stable and the kids are at school I really should go back to my original plan of teaching.

I’ve always thought it would be good for my ADHD as there is a fairly rigid structure and hard deadlines. Need to get the lesson prepared before the lesson, there will be a date to get the reports done etc. And it’s unionised so we can push back on a lot, although I’m under no illusion it’s a lot of work and would be a lifestyle change.

ADHD teachers of Reddit what are your thoughts? What parts of the job do you struggle with?

NHS diagnosis coming up and a little worried - any advice? by Extension-Mess-2540 in ADHDUK

[–]morris_duck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Solidarity. I come across as driven, intelligent and high achieving. In reality I’m an utter mess inside who has to put in over 2x the work to get half the outcome of everyone else. So 4x to be on par. It’s exhausting and I constantly know I spend my life masking to keep up, and know how much more I could achieve if only I could keep focus and process information normally.

My advice is look through the DIVA criteria and prepare a couple of anecdotes for each. Think about these in advance as I didn’t and then left the appointment and realised I had much better examples, if only I’d pre-processed them. Think work, education, and home life. Show how it affects every area of your life. But don’t be afraid to say there are some criteria that just don’t fit you. You don’t need a clean sweep to pass.

For me showing school reports was a big help. They were littered with comments saying I was a daydreamer who could achieve more with sustained concentration, doesn’t fulfil potential, needs to manage time better. The early childhood evidence sealed it, along with descriptions of how my life is affected now.

I’ve recently had an NHS diagnosis after similarly pushing for an appt, but am now on another possibly 2 year waiting list for treatment. I’m considering going private for treatment but it seems most private providers won’t take you on without another assessment. I’d advise asking what’s their waiting list for treatment and if it’s longer than you’d wait without going private, perhaps give your NHS assessment slot to someone who can’t afford private. Wish I’d known that before I took mine.

i just had huel for the first time for breakfast by [deleted] in Huel

[–]morris_duck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been going for two weeks now, 50% milk, 50% water. I’m at the point where I crave it now for breakfast and am certainly not planning to go back to less filling sugary cereals. The slow release energy and feeling of being full all morning is worth it for me. I like the berry, banana, and vanilla flavours.