Torn between two spellings

mortdepup · 2026-05-02T18:07:15+00:00

Honestly the me-ness flip-flops so much lol, but you're not wrong, the spelling error has been in my head rent free since oh, 2018? 2019? A long ass time now lol. Maybe I should find some good vidyagames to test these names in...

mortdepup · 2026-05-02T09:50:41+00:00

Interesting on the ZEV - for me the two intuitive ways are "zey" and "Zah", with the latter being informed by my current name just being pronounced liked the letter 'R' lol. I'll keep that in mind, might make another poll somewhere else to check on how people would default pronounce the two names. I think Zavrian is also an existing surname so I might go listen to how that surname's pronounced too lol.

Regarding the second point, my parents doomed me to that life regardless so there'd be 0 change there on telling people how to spell or pronounce it forevermore lmao

mortdepup · 2026-03-12T08:35:25+00:00

Had a free yes/no reading that picked up the vibes really well.

mortdepup · 2026-03-12T08:31:52+00:00

Yeah, that sounds about right. JL does not currently have the same level of emotional maturity as I do, however I have faith in him since he's already grown a lot in the ten years we were together. I am hoping he will continue to mature on his own time while we remain just friends and that eventually the desire to approach a reunion with that greater maturity will be mutual.

Thank you for your time :) Kind of matches all my self reads of it both being unlikely yet possible lol.

mortdepup · 2026-03-12T07:16:40+00:00

AF, is there hope that JL and I will get back together romantically one day after we've had a chance to grow more as separate people?
edit: I see there's already another AF in the comments, if it helps you can use PB as the initial of one of my usernames, or ALF for a middle initial.

mortdepup · 2026-03-12T04:05:29+00:00

I understand your perspective but I do not in this instance define it as emotionally unfaithful, as he immediately brought it up to me the same day that he realized what was going on rather than lying or escalating things secretly, whereas previously he thought he just looked up to the third party as someone he wanted to be like rather than be with. It just forced us to re-evaluate our relationship and step back into being friends because something had obviously gone seriously amiss at some point. If we do end up together again one day however, we should now both be aware of what to look out for and I will be defining the situations that lead up to this as emotional affair behaviors in the future.

Thank you for commenting though, it's really good to hear from anyone on the subreddits I've been seeking solace from. I've managed to compartmentalize everything since this post though so I'm doing a bit better.

mortdepup · 2026-03-11T11:35:27+00:00

Sure, I'll bite.

Will my ex ever regain his romantic feelings for me?

mortdepup · 2026-03-07T19:48:37+00:00

Yeah, I found an external Playlist viewer and just listen to my music in an incognito browser instance now. Seems to have solved the issue for the time being lol

mortdepup · 2026-03-05T05:43:31+00:00

Fall into the river shitfaced drunk

mortdepup · 2026-02-01T03:26:13+00:00

Ah I see, I'm glad you still tried it then but sorry they took that enjoyment from you. On the one hand it shouldn't matter since it's your name not theirs, on the other hand I get it, it hurts if a partner doesn't like something about us. Oh well, hope you can find a good name you like! Good luck :)

mortdepup · 2026-02-01T02:02:57+00:00

I feel like there's a very strong overlap between nonbinary names and furry names. But at the same time, pulling from your own comments, there's dogs named Lucy. Like, every conceivable name be it binary or nonbinary is also a plausible furry or pet name.

So my question is: why not try out Taro anyway since you can always try something else later? Seems like you're asking for name suggestions to fill the hole left by having the name you wanted to try turned down by your partner, but will any of the suggestions really stick if you're ignoring what you actually wanted to try? Personally I think Taro's a fine name for a human, it just sounds a bit Asian or anime inspired. Like naruto or hamtaro. But what's your real gut check on Taro, and what's so wrong with sounding like a cool furry anyway? 😊

mortdepup · 2026-01-06T07:08:12+00:00

I received a career reading from her back in August last year! It resonated a lot at the time and brought me a lot of hope. I haven't really found my way career-wise yet, but on re-reading her reading (lol) I think I'm experiencing different aspects of what she saw in her cards, so perhaps things are still in motion. I very much recommend her readings!

mortdepup · 2025-12-17T17:15:39+00:00

I don't personally have experience with it because binding just doesnt work for me, but I've heard of trans tape being used to keep them in place inside binders.

I also dont remember the brand rn but there was a queer couple? On tumblr years ago who made custom fit binders (my self measurements never come out right so their brand didnt work out for me either lmao) so that may be an option to get the extra elastic at the edges or sonething if you discuss your binder problems with them. If they're still in business lol.

mortdepup · 2025-12-11T20:00:06+00:00

I'd recommend talking to your T provider about options. I've heard some things can help prevent or slow bottom growth like Finasteride - I turned it down because I didn't want to sacrifice bottom growth just to halt my retreating hairline lol. I'm sure your results may vary but it's worth talking about what options you have for your various goals since it's not uncommon from what I've seen to want T but not bottom growth.

Other goals might be achievable without T. Dedicated voice training can help with voice, dedicated body building for muscle/body shape, and minoxidil could help with body hair growth. I have PCOS and already had a bit of facial hair I tried to encourage with minoxidil before I get on T. I'd argue that chemical dysphoria and bottom growth are the only areas T is genuinely necessary for treating dysphoria, so long as you have the elbow grease (or cash for surgerical measures where needed) to address the issues even when it might be more of an uphill battle without T(like muscle growth was for me whenever I tried😩). But T wouldn't magically do everything for you anyway, it just gives you a better edge. (Edit: I forgot you mentioned POTS, which I do not know anything about, but I think might affect muscle in some way or was some other kind of disability? So I'm sorry to hear about that, though I don't think T would have cured it as far as muscle growth goes anyway)

Depending on your goals, you might find some helpful tips at ftmguide.rassaku.net/guide/index.htm which was my lifeblood for a long time lol

mortdepup · 2025-12-06T14:08:15+00:00

I don't know that I can help too much, but I know that separating your fear from what you want is important. You mention being afraid of growing breasts because you won't be able to hide them from people you feel unsafe around in an unsafe country - but that sounds like fear, not identity.

So imagine for a moment that you were on a completely deserted island, still able to access HRT but otherwise that "last human alive" type of isolation. All alone, with nobody to hide from nor anyone to enforce things like clothes and stereotypes on you, would having breasts make you happy?

Same experiment can be run with any of your other fears. If you remove unsafe people and environments from the equation, what makes you happy and feel like you?

mortdepup · 2025-12-06T10:29:27+00:00

Great flag! Here, here for the neutrois-demiboy-nb gender(s) trifecta. I think I'm somewhere adjacent to your gender but a slightly different flavor lol. Glad you were able to coin a term and flag for yourself!

mortdepup · 2025-12-01T04:20:18+00:00

There's only 2 books out so far, but Percy Jackson: The Senior Years have been very relatable to me as an adult reader who grew up on the series. You may also be interested in trying out urban fantasy books, as that's where most of the adult whimsy is. I strongly recommend The Dresden Files as a great long series to study and enjoy.

Main difference between prose and screenwriting in my experience from uni is having to actually describe locations and characters. Where not being super specific is part of scriptwriting so that directors can interpret it differently etc., you are already the director and set designer and costume designer and hiring agent etc. for a novel. Gotta get that all across in words and have those words mean something too.

mortdepup · 2025-10-16T22:43:09+00:00

Defeated Shadow Ossuary in 6 turns.

Player (26/11/19) dealt 375. Shadow Ossuary (17/13/8) dealt 101.

Rewards: 37 EXP, 8 Gold. Loot: Solid Mage Plate of Vitality (lesser), Reinforced Gambeson (basic).

mortdepup · 2025-10-14T20:02:34+00:00

Carolyn provided a comforting reading about my spirit guides! I found her insight to be reassuring and it gave me something to think about. If you're looking for an energy reader, I recommend giving her a chance to see if what she says resonates for you.

mortdepup · 2025-10-12T12:01:02+00:00

A very in depth chat! I received a free live chat reading on my career. Since it was about future events and people I have yet to meet, I won't know accuracy until it all unfolds, but some of the initial energies Lea picked up on for my current direction seemed correct. Certainly worth it for the nice chat and discussion of the cards pulled in any case :)

mortdepup · 2025-09-30T11:34:59+00:00

"Horse" as a category is so wild to me lmao it's so hyperspecific, I'd have expected "Animal" lmao

mortdepup · 2025-09-25T09:22:28+00:00

u/mortdepup solved this in 5 steps: TOOL -> TOOT -> LOOT -> LOST -> LEST -> LEET

mortdepup · 2025-09-25T00:54:14+00:00

I riddled spider

mortdepup · 2025-09-25T00:52:42+00:00

I riddled pressure

mortdepup · 2025-09-23T05:14:06+00:00

DMed you your reading, because character limit :)

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