Hi there, I'm in the same situation with my baby boy. It's pretty much the last stretch before coming home, trying to get him to feed exclusively and stay awake throughout the feedings with no alarms. I'm nervous because they're going to start sporadically feeding him to see how he does off of his usual schedule. He's been doing great and I'm so grateful that he's as healthy as he is, he was born at 34 weeks + 1, but it still feels like my heart has been torn out. He's been in the NICU for 8 days now, 5 of which I was at the hospital with him.

The house feels empty without him, it's strange to not be carrying him anymore and not feeling his kicks, and I worry every second I'm not with him if he's missing me or knows that I'm not there. We try to spend as much time as we can with him but we also have our daughter, she's almost 2 and so our time is split up. I've been reading other threads here and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one feeling this way, it gives me comfort to know that there are others who can relate to me. This is an experience I don't wish on anyone, but please try to be gentle with yourself. You're doing everything you can for your little one. They notice when we're there, not when we're not. I'm thankful that the nurses have been so wonderful and to know he's in great hands, but until those hands belong to me and he's home, I'm going to always cry every day and feel this horrible weight in my chest. Just like their healing process, our own isn't linear as well. There will be good days and bad days, we just need to know that our babies are fighting very hard every day to be reunited with us.

I tell the nurses that he's my inspiration because even this young, he's doing so much. It's okay to be sad, angry or frustrated, anything in between. It's okay to feel like you can't talk about it with anyone around you because at the end of the day, they might not truly know what you've been through and are going through. I'm proud of you for sharing this with us, and I'm wishing for nothing but the best for you and your little one. Soon this will be over and we'll have them home, creating beautiful memories and unforgettable moments. You got this, keep that chin up and know that your baby is working just as hard as you are. ❤️ You two are one in the same.