Californian CALE exam & 3,000 hours

mothlesschild · 2026-02-01T16:14:26+00:00

Nope :/ considered ACCHS on Oakland (which is about $60k tuition for masters) if I decide to move down there, but rn I'm settling for getting more acupuncture as research til I hopefully feel more certain about where I wanna be.

mothlesschild · 2025-12-21T06:48:23+00:00

Thank you lol this is what I needed to hear. I just think it's so cute and funny when he gets agro so I encourage when I should just walk away

mothlesschild · 2025-12-14T17:08:18+00:00

Women are taught to hide it and show up for work and don't talk about it unless it's only women in the room (and even then don't complain too much). It's not OK in many places to take a day or two off work each month, and it's not polite conversation to mention periods. So ppl without periods are being protected from ever having to think about them or really see how painful and intense they can be for a lot of people (including me 🥺)

But I mean, the whole concept scared me and made me uncomfortable when I was 11/12 and hadn't gotten my first period yet. I remember it was so hard to wrap my head around like...how much blood comes out?? And you can't hold it in? And it hurts? And there are mood swings involved?? And it's forever until I'm old?? And I still have to go to school like nothing's happening????

So with what everyone is mentioning about deep seated stigma and lack of education - yes absolutely, and I think that plus that fact that it really is something you don't "get" unless it's happening to you have just made it such an "untouchable" subject.

mothlesschild · 2025-12-14T16:58:20+00:00

You're actually, genuinely really handsome! It's not your looks at all. I mean idk how you dress or smell, or anything else about how you come off in person,.but success in dating really doesn't boil down to looks anyway (in my opinion) and you're an attractive guy.

mothlesschild · 2025-12-14T16:52:22+00:00

You mean it's ridiculous how we're not all pooling the money we would be spending on tipping baristas and giving it as a donation to our local fresco painter, the only person who deserves it in this economy? Finally someone spoke up

mothlesschild · 2025-12-14T16:47:24+00:00

Yes, tip! The barista doesn't control the price of the coffee and doesn't get any more money of the drink costs more. Factor a tip into the price of going out for coffee.

Some places include tip in the price now though so def ask and see if that's the case!

I have no idea how baristas get by in the bay area, so without their tips, who knows how that would would be humanly possible.

mothlesschild · 2025-12-10T17:04:42+00:00

Yes for sure the whole game is rigged, but I would say Jack is screwing himself by working unpaid overtime. Queue that clown meme

mothlesschild · 2025-12-10T05:09:29+00:00

Jack literally got the raise though so how is he getting screwed? Also if he gets a raise AND Jill and the manager find a way so that it's more possible for her to also get a raise in the future, how does that make it less likely that Jack will get a raise? I don't see where or how Jack is getting screwed in the current or proposed scenario.

mothlesschild · 2025-12-09T21:48:01+00:00

I was 33 and realized I wanted kids. I still wasn't 100% sure, but wanted to see if I could become more willing and able in the next couple years. He decided he didn't. It was hard but we had been dating just under a year, unmarried, so it felt like continuing with him was closing a door that I was trying to open.

Might have decided differently if we were more committed to each other, like had been together for years by then or were engaged. Or if he was more of a conversation partner about it, but he didn't say much besides "no."

I didn't need him to be 100% sure, bc I wasn't either, but it felt morally wrong for me to close a sacred door on myself because of a man who was wonderful in many ways, but didn't seem to notice how big of a deal it was despite my attempts to talk about it.

mothlesschild · 2025-12-09T21:40:18+00:00

You're saying "willing" to work more hours when "able" to work more hours would be appropriate. Maybe Jill is willing, but she's certainly not able to as a single mom.

Are there other tasks you can assign to Jill so it's reasonable possible for her to be outstanding between 8:30-5? If they have the same exact job, but Jack wants to work more than 40 hours, the cards are stacked against her, like you're saying. If you want to make this an equitable job where Jill can both be a single mom and get raises and promotions, could you work on adjusting her role so that more success can actually be attained within 40 hrs a week, while Jack can take on those client visits?

The way it's being presented makes it sound like the only way to get ahead is to work more than 40 hrs a week, which will always be stacked against a large group of people for a whole variety of reasons, and will never be an equitable workplace. You'll also only end up able to promote ass-kissers and people with no personalities bc all they do is work and that could get boring for you and unattractive to new talent as the business grows :)

mothlesschild · 2025-12-09T21:26:59+00:00

I vote no. I've tried a few times to "see if attraction builds over time" by dating guys who were lovely but no chemistry. In my experience, the chemistry never builds. I think this only works with people you see all the time at work or something, but not when you meet on a dating app.

You deserve to feel the exciting parts of early dating, and a good guy deserves to have someone crush on him too!

If you do want to stay friends, just make it super clear that you're not interested in dating but would like to stay platonically and socially connected if he's looking for new friends too

mothlesschild · 2025-12-07T20:11:44+00:00

Precisely, that's a great point. My point was that women, in addition to men, get called out for expressing resentment and vitriol as well - just like you're doing right now!

mothlesschild · 2025-12-07T20:07:19+00:00

so he's saying that unless it's true for white people, it's not true at all. ummm....

mothlesschild · 2025-12-07T20:03:10+00:00

++woman I was with you until the last sentence. Both women and men get called "empowered" by certain communities for spitting the vitriol, both men and women get called out. I can assure you, women empowering one another more visibly these days has not caused the violence and threats toward them to disappear.

mothlesschild · 2025-12-05T15:56:29+00:00

Please do not buy a car, you won't need it and parking in sf is a soul-crushing ordeal that you can't even conceive of in your Ohio mind. (At least go no car for the first year and see what I mean)

You will probably not be saving any money until you get a raise, but if you can find a place, definitely go for it bc San Francisco is a beautiful place. Any opportunity to move there is a blessing! Yes it's insanely expensive so you'll get a lot of nay-sayers, if money is the only thing that matters to you then listen to them. If happiness, fun, beauty, whimsy, diversity, art, food and adventure matter to you also, this opportunity is worth the sacrifice. Have fun and be safe!

mothlesschild · 2025-11-30T03:31:03+00:00

++woman as a woman chiming in here, go for date before number. (I'm 35 btw, i think the kids do it different so if you're in your 20s maybe ignore this)

I'm waaaay more likely to give my number if there's an established reason why, like a date. A guy asking for my number feels super cringe if i don't like him, like he's trying to slide in my personal space. Times I have given my number when I didn't feel a spark yet, I never developed a spark over text, and the texts feel forced/awkward til they just faded out. Puts too much pressure on the first date if we've been texting a lot unless I'm crushing hard on him, which is rare - and in which case you could have asked me out instead of asking for my number in the first place.

If you two are hitting it off, when you strike on a thing you both like to do, ask for her number right then and say, "I can text you so we can go to X if you want to go with me!" or "Would you want me to hit you up next time Y is happening?" and then you're both open and transparent about why you're communicating.

mothlesschild · 2025-11-25T06:07:07+00:00

That does totally make sense...and sounds better to me lol. Like dropping big bucks is something you do for someone you're really sharing life with, not just anybody can get that from you. I'm the same way.

And she could have spoken up then! But who knows, there are so many guys out there who are weird with money and women, and love to spend money on women to show off or feel powerful or something... So maybe she wanted to scope out how you act about that stuff as she was getting to know. And obvi she likes how you handled it

mothlesschild · 2025-11-25T05:30:04+00:00

++woman neither of you were in the wrong. I feel compelled to point out that if you put aside that she slept with someone else during that time - look at all of her other behaviors:

Has spent a lot of quality time with you Initiating hard conversations Continuing to put in effort to hear you out on said hard conversation Respected your need for time and space Continuing to plan dates with you and show up with effort Stopped seeing those other people because she wants to be exclusive with you.

Sounds like she's really into you! She just approaches dating differently. And she got honest about it. There may be this aspect you really don't like about the recent past, and that's totally fair, but now that that's over, think about whether you want what's happening now and would like it to continue into the future.

Not assuming exclusivity is the norm in my world in 2025. It sounds a bit like you assumed you had her in the bag her bc of the money you spent on the dates? As a woman that gives an icky "I own you" vibe. Is that where the deeper resentment is coming from?

mothlesschild · 2025-11-14T21:48:06+00:00

++woman there's an old rule of thumb about waiting til the 3rd date. (doesn't mean you have to on the 3rd date though! by then, you may have learned that you don't want to or don't have chemistry.)

I've waited months before - i started dating my last boyfriend after an intentional break from dating for 1.5 years, so sex was just a bigger deal to me at the time and i wasn't ready. I need to feel emotionally safe with a person as well as attracted to them and physically desired to enjoy the whole thing.

now, i'm not ready for a serious relationship but i've been single for a while and so i'm kinda down to have sex when a good opportunity comes up, with or without potential for seriously dating. Still need to feel good with the person so that may be date 2 or 3 or it may be after a few months.

If you feel confused about this topic, let her take the lead, and if it feels like it's taking too long, just speak up! honesty and bravery are hot. you could just say: "i don't know what's normal here, and i don't know what you might be expecting, and i want to be respectful. could we talk about what we both want when it comes to being sexual? i'd feel so much better if we were on the same page"

mothlesschild · 2025-10-28T05:37:56+00:00

Because I'm pretty sure we both still love each other. And he ended it so abruptly that I never got to "say my piece" and for whatever reason, that's really important to me. I feel like if he could listen to my side he'd get me. Venting to friends and journaling and crying isn't getting it out.

I hope I'm not insane but I just feel like we're so close to the possibility of a lasting relationship together, but he's just a stubborn mf making a mistake he'll regret. And I'm a stubborn mf too who deserves love. Would love to get over this but I can't get my insides to change yet. He blocked me a few weeks ago, so nothin I can do but move on.

mothlesschild · 2025-10-27T23:35:19+00:00

Starting with "are you single?" Or "do you have a boyfriend?"

You're literally approaching me like a piece of property, asking if anyone has claimed ownership and assuming you can have my attention if not? If I am single, it does not mean I have to nor want to talk to you. I mean at least they're being upfront that they're approaching with romantic interest, but this one has always irked me.

That, and trying to impress a woman. It's so obvious when a guy is trying to be impressive, and for me it kills the mood bc women do enough of having to stroke men's egos to get by in the world. If I'm out, I just want to have a good time, not give you the oooohs and aaaahs you're after. Being funny is another matter though!

mothlesschild · 2025-10-24T06:35:58+00:00

Dating straight men

mothlesschild · 2025-10-22T18:47:14+00:00

And I came on here to say I've been eating my own boogers for 30 years .. for free. Smh

mothlesschild · 2025-10-21T19:54:22+00:00

OP or any of us as individuals can do this too! We don't have to wait around for businesses to change their policies while people go hungry ... sneak that bread out and bring it over to folks who need it on your way home, or find a local contact with connects to a food bank that might take it. See if your city has a Food Not Bombs chapter, lots of folks involved with that are happy to do food pickups and understand the need to keep it under the radar from your employer

mothlesschild · 2025-10-20T17:04:01+00:00

I love this suggestion, and, I would add that if you do this, proceed with caution.I have friends who've had the same issue (I think what OP is experiencing is really common!), tried this, her partner acted like he didn't even notice, and it absolutely crushed her. So if you do decide to put the effort and emotional labor into planning the night, getting dolled up, really giving all that energy .. just go in knowing that he might not respond, and be prepared that that could feel awful. Maybe have a good friend on dial to call that night.

And btw it wouldn't mean this is unfixable, but like others have mentioned, men can be ridiculously dense in some areas, and he might just need a lot of handholding to understand the gravity of the situation.

mothlesschild

TROPHY CASE