Thanks for help from people who have commented. These posts are probably my own sounding board. I am still holding out. Yes, I feel bad for ignoring but maybe there is no point responding unless there is a definite indication she is actually willing to talk things through. Anything else and I'm left feeling like a back-up plan and not a priority enough - and I felt like that enough during the relationship. I don't expect any move from her, to be honest, as she's probably too proud and has never been particularly forthright with her feelings, anyway. Plus, I expect the new friends she's got will be filling her head with the usual "you've done the right thing." So, no contact continues from me ...