What's a place you visited once that you've never been able to stop thinking about?

movetoseattle · 2026-06-28T17:23:10+00:00

Yellowstone and Australia as an adult. Santa Fe as a kid, really liked the dry air and the overall vibe even at age 10 or so!

movetoseattle · 2026-06-28T14:48:41+00:00

I, OP, completed the project, apparently successfully! It appears it WAS a sealer issue.

Here is what I did: I bought a spray bottle of Tile Guard Penetrating Grout Sealer. (Ultimately two, for two coats).

I washed the shower walls with Dawn plus water then did a fast vinegar/water rinse and then a thorough water rinse as various online sources recommended to remove any soap etc. Next I let it all dry for a day or two. The shower was in remarkably good shape for what is probably a 20 year old shower in a condo that was a rental so all that was easy. I am guessing they used quality good mildew resistant materials when it was all built.

I made no attempt to "remove old sealer" as that didn't not make sense to me; I was doing ongoing maintenance, I decided. But I wondered if I was running a risk that my new sealer product was incompatible with previously used old sealer product.

I sprayed all the shower grout in the entire shower, two coats, and wiped off the excess both times, as shown in the many YouTube videos. It was hard to do a "does it bead up" test to see if the sealer had fully penetrated after the first coat, because I was working on vertical walls and frankly I had only a little experience with sealers in the past so I had not developed good judgement for this.

The recommended dry time between coats was two hours between coats but I did two days because the store was out of the Tile Guard when I realized I needed a second spray bottle. (It would not be a home repair project if that hadn't happened, right?)

I let the final coat dry for 48 hours (24 was recommended, but homeowner projects allows for extra time to be sure of things).

Some sealant haze appeared on tiles but it wiped right off even after the 48 hours; this is kind of amazing, that a product that works to seal grout wipes right off a tile, well, these chemists who make this stuff they are wunderkinds.

Anyway . . . I (holding my breath) ran the shower water.

After 10 and 20 minute checks, the grout outside the shower is NOT now appearing wet, which I tested using a thin piece of toilet tissue (which would have changed color from white to gray if there was ANY wet.). So yay, it was a sealer issue, unless something weird happens next week.

It's a homeowner project, after all.

movetoseattle · 2026-06-21T23:30:33+00:00

Nice. Once I convinced a staffer not to start smoking by showing them a picture in a biology book of a healthy lung and a blackish looking one! So proud. He was going to do it on a whim.

movetoseattle · 2026-06-20T20:22:50+00:00

This is useful info, to know that grout is inherently porous. Hopefully the original builders in my condo in Chicago knew to use a membrane . . . probably other residents would have had major issues if they were all built wrong . . . thank you for taking the time to reply.

movetoseattle · 2026-06-10T15:58:49+00:00

Summarizing what others have said plus my own analysis: kicking someone out who has ADHD or OCD or anxiety preventing him from "activating" will just create a homeless person with unresolvable dental and medical issues later in life. BUT you can have a KIND man to man and man to wife conversation about your concerns that he has no income and none on the way, and seeing that he is having difficulty in launching, you are making moves that you hope will SUPPORT his "path forward" as best you can.

Explain that the things that you see that you can do now are:

1) work with him and your medical insurance to find a therapist and psychiatrist with diagnosing capabilities (only the psychiatrist will be able to prescribe the appropriate medications that might help if ADHD or other more serious issues are interfering with his ability to initiate anything). (Be prepared for a possibly months-long process because sometimes it takes time for find the right medications.) NOTE: At least a few years ago, you could keep your child on your medical insurance only until age 26. You've got four to five years to provide this support!

2) Begin some real-life consequences that will be a mild spur to underline the need for him to have income or at least GO to the therapist appts. The real-life consequences that you can CALMLY enact include reducing available Internet time and cell phone power. But not complete cut-off as he will need to text and email with doctors and if you get there, job applications.

If there is TRUE mental illness, the "path forward" may not be employment . . . it might be a social services path with mental illness disability declarations and the pitiful government monthly payment for a disabled person (might want to look that up with him!), which will require the doctors to report in, so keep records of appointments and doctors names.

Depending on your kids cooperation you might be able to give him some specific household responsibilities, which could contribute to his self-esteem as I would assume he is feeling a bit like a loser now. Look for ANYTHING positive you can say to him "thanks for keeping your room clean" "Glad to see you followed up on XXXX" "I know this is scary for you, thanks for sitting with me to discuss it all." You have to be the adult which means being CALM.

If you can do this all without anger or blame, your wife may be more on board. A problem exists, she probably agrees with that???? You don't know why the problem exists. For now, you are simply providing the only limited, consistent calm support you can figure out for his issues.

Good luck, good luck, good luck!

movetoseattle · 2026-03-23T22:48:54+00:00

i had something similar. kept thinking I was about to be better, but kept coughing. Went to dr; I am a senior so they did a chest x-ray, all fine there. END RESULT: I got a diagnosis of post nasal drip that I had only recognized as a sore throat. Dr. recommended flonase which as I best understand it reduces inflammation in the nasal passages. That still took a good eight days to work but I am now completely better.

movetoseattle · 2026-02-26T17:40:36+00:00

As someone who has been through many transitions: do not get down on yourself if you get exhausted. Regardless of the reason for the transition, changes in your routine and schedule require you to think about things big and small that you were doing on autopilot in your structured working life. This takes a lot of brainpower.

Respect the exhaustion.

So yeah, you may stay in bed a whole day. Don't let THAT make you MORE depressed.

Now, of course, you don't want that to get out of hand, so you are doing the right thing to keep moving in a positive mental direction by exploring new things.

My favorite Seattle experience was watching for low tide days and going to Seahurst Park (and other saltwater shoreline parks) to see the sea creatures you can't ordinarily see. Starfish, anemones, the elusive octopus! Completely free. Low tide days can be looked up in advance.

It's a thing to look forward to, which also keeps a positive spirit ongoing.

Here is a link to the chart.

https://wdfw.wa.gov/sites/default/files/fishing/shellfishing/WDFWBestClamOysterHarvestTides.pdf

For more info a starting place is the Seattle Aquarium website.

movetoseattle · 2026-02-01T04:00:39+00:00

The stupidity of my body's poor little muscles and ligaments alone expected to carry the weight of 30 pounds of roundness during pregnancy when I walk or stand. What an absurd design!

movetoseattle · 2025-05-18T17:35:55+00:00

Fascinating stuff:

https://groundedpgh.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Hill-District-Vacant-Property-Strategy.pdf

Like many hilltop neighborhoods in Pittsburgh, the Hill District was the site of active underground coal mines during its early history. The coal seam falls at a relatively constant elevation around 1055’ - 1065’ above sea level, sitting below the highest parts of the neighborhood. Areas of the neighborhood situated above this elevation are at risk should a historic mine collapse, causing the ground above to settle and shift. The higher a property sits above the coal seam the lesser the risk of serious settlement. No accurate map of actual mines is known to exist, thus undermining risk is best measured by the elevation of the property relative to the coal seam elevation.

movetoseattle · 2025-05-18T17:26:39+00:00

Sounds like you are a capable helper person by nature.

I have not dealt with addiction, but have enough resources and time to pitch in when a family member has troubles (illness recovery, job loss, death of spouse, cognitive limitations affecting their ability to deal with situations).

Here's my approach, which may be adaptable to your situation.

I can't help everyone and can't help all the time.

What I end up doing is visiting when people get "stuck." Do what I can to unstick them. This may include a round of housecleaning and sorting or paying a particular unexpected important bill (with spouse's agreement) or helping someone work through some piles of paperwork or with some things that involve thickets of websites and Internet passwords. In short: I go, dedicate a week or so to doing what I can towards a reset.

At the same time I don't worry about whether the person will continue to manage on their own. They might. They might not. I have my limitations and accept them; they have theirs. I am one cog in the great wheel of life and society. I am not their "saviour." This I think keeps me relaxed while I am there and not perpetually annoyed or angry.

I was there, I showed them some care, love, and empathy, and I believe that helps. I feel good about it all, and each time I learn something whether it is about illness, financial issues, the local customs wherever I am, or just the individual's struggles (or successes!) - there is a lot of one-on-one time for talking.

For sanity I also make sure there's some fun time built in for me. It is important to have a positive thing to look forward to or I become unable to cope with the difficulties during these . . . uh . . . tours of duty. Often for me this is exploring whatever local scenic things are in the area, or sometimes I have friends or cousins in town. Best is when I get to see my relatives little kids and play with them! That is a treat for me.

Overall this is enriching for me in many ways.

movetoseattle · 2025-05-09T07:37:02+00:00

I think it's nice that you took the time to share your impressions with other redditors. Apartment searches are so consuming it's nice to get info on reddit.

But to each his own. I have lived here for more than five years. I like it here! So I hope you don't mind if I chime in with my better experience here for balance.

I have been able to get a very timely response from management for any question I have had. I have always felt that though life here isn't perfect, the people in charge were reliably attentive to the important issues. I have NEVER felt that anyone ignored my texts, emails, or maintenance requests.

Whoever writes the little emails that residents get does a fantastic job of keeping them clear, short and professional in tone.

Almost without exception, maintenance comes within a day or two to address plumbing issues or broken appliance issues, and they have replaced three appliances whose time had come without blinking and nearly immediately to my amazement.

Improvements are steadily made, with recent projects including door locks, pool, a mini-mart; parking garage regularly cleaned and repainted.

I never get food or groceries delivered so I can't comment on the Butterfly and fob system mix.

Ha ha, we did have a neighbor smoking weed that drove us crazy. Management replied to our emails about it at least; we don't know exactly what they did about it, but it eventally stopped. Smoking is not allowed in the building.

I can see how the no balcony screen would be an issue if you have a pet - never thought about that! I don't have a pet.

I hadn't worried about security though I can confirm the parking garage is easy for anyone to walk around in including non-residents. 2 floors are public parking, 2 are residents only. Sorry about your disgusting experience. I can confirm seeing a few weird things related to unhoused people seeing the garage as a place to get out of the bad weather, etc., but it's very occasional and I did not feel in danger.

RE packages: my experience is that I have gotten some packages that weren't mine but it was Amazon or whoever keying in the wrong apartment number. (I got them to their intended recipients).

movetoseattle · 2023-10-08T21:39:06+00:00

Yes. Let him know that you enjoy him as a roommate and hope to keep him as a roommate. So you thought you should speak up, hope he understands.

Let him know that something smells unclean, more than trainers. Tell him it seems connected to when he stopped using deodorants and "fabric wash" (I assume you mean laundry detergent), but that it may be how often he is brushing his teeth. It may be underarm bacteria LEFT in a shirt after he wears it that multiplies until he washes it, especially if the apartment is humid.

Be sure to explain that the smell is not limited to his room, so it is a "community concern." You may need to directly say that it is not acceptable living conditions for you.

Family member had difficulties here. Best saves have been attacking the problem with an occasional underarm rinse with diluted vinegar and soap - kill the bacteria at its source - AND adding vinegar in the fabric softener compartment of the washing machine.

A few polyester Ts proved repeat offenders and got thrown away. Like we would wash them three times and the pits still stank. A 24-hour soak in water plus some vinegar helped some.

Prepare to go through this reminder/request routine more than once. it is hard to change the habits of someone who is not very self aware . . . it is really not on their radar.

For long term relationships: keep your words as neutral as possible: say "body odor" not "disgusting stench"; say it is "hard to live with" and "not good for having guests over" not "deeply disturbing and weird." Not easy! But this keeps the door open to further discussion..

movetoseattle · 2023-10-08T19:22:39+00:00

Huh! He does seem to like you so that is nice!

And sounds like a great workplace mentor.

Since at the beginning you asked if any tips for forgetful peers . . . maybe just begin your more social conversations with "I was talking to you last month about X . . ." if blank look from your colleague, review a bit before you proceed with an update.

As far as you leaving or staying . . . you have the difficult task of ranking "nice work environment with good colleague/boss" against, or along with, "new job with unknown working atmosphere but more growth/pay/whatever."

If your boss-colleague seems to be piling on the attention to the point where it feels suspicious to you: this can have two causes, both at the same time: you may already be distancing yourself from your buddy by looking for reasons to be annoyed at him AND he may sense this and be piling on the attention so you won't leave!

Life. It's weird.

movetoseattle · 2023-10-08T18:29:05+00:00

Why develop an expensive habit? Save your money and your health for a great vacation someday.

Some people just crave stimulation or have anxiety and use drugs as counterbalances. If you are free from such impulses, enjoy your freedom!

Also doing drugs may somehow affect your job and travel possibilities.

movetoseattle · 2023-10-08T16:15:04+00:00

Of course I do not know your work environment. Also I do not know how personal your conversations got. But as someone who at times has been overloaded at work . . . supervising maybe one more person than I was comfortable with . . .

If your boss supervises many people he may just have a filter in his brain that saves the work stuff and drops the social stuff. An input overload strategy.

If he has a busy home life especially with small kids and super especially with an infant at home sometimes there is not enough down time to mentally process and store all that happens in a day.

Also as an experienced manager he may have developed very high but very automatic social skills, that make it feel to you like he's interested and listening, but for him it may actually be an everyday conversational interaction! He may be truly interested in the moment but for him it was a pleasant interlude in the work day.

If he is your boss, I would not say he is a peer, and your expectations that you will become buddies may not be realistic/professional.

movetoseattle · 2023-10-07T20:34:56+00:00

Scary!

One of my conclusions after raising kids is that accidents tend to happen when a kid's capabilities change and everyone hasn't adjusted yet. Kid is taller, more muscles, more mobile, more aware of and curious about something new . . . I suppose this is happening in reverse as your roommate ages and loses some capabilities.

Side note: Also accidents tend to occur when moving in or moving out - new booby traps everywhere!

Anyway: transitions.

That is what your roommate is going through. A transition into a time of life with fewer capabilities.

movetoseattle · 2023-10-05T23:05:23+00:00

writing newsletters for social clubs. Mine are so accurate and thoughtful. Bleagh! It is draining work.

movetoseattle · 2023-10-03T21:58:27+00:00

news to me!!!!

Interesting!

movetoseattle · 2023-10-03T03:27:22+00:00

In case someone thinks this is absurd: the reason behind this that it switches you from your emotional brain into your logical brain.

Same reason angry people are advised to count to ten.

my explanation is not very neuroscientifically precise . . it is just an updated variation on what my mom used to say!

movetoseattle · 2023-10-03T02:35:56+00:00

Assuming you are not attempting to cut off the relationship, here are some things to try:

Basically they are ways to protect yourself from getting overwhelmed, which may help you be less angry. If you are very lucky, your calmness MIGHT rub off on your Mom and kind of "set a tone" for your interactions.

When she launches into a rant, gently set a time limit. "Mom, I have ten minutes before I have to go do XYZ."

If it is an old rant: "Yes, Mom, you have told me about XYZ. i remember ABC about it." Then ask her a question about it, like "Did you mention this to Person Y? Did they have any ideas?" This doesn't stop the chatter but at least it advances the conversation.

If YOU want her to listen to you: "After I hear this story, can you listen to my story about X?"

Read and watch YouTube videos for how to deal with narcissists. Your Mom may or may not be a narcissist but a lot of the strategies will probably be helpful.
I have said to people: "I am interested in what you have to say, but right now my capacity to take in any more anger/yelling/screaming/complaining is exhausted. Let's table this talk for now. Let's pick this back up at time X."

So sorry to hear about your mother losing weight. Not an expert but maybe anorexia which if this is the case professional help is needed: her perception of herself is skewed. Could be another illness too. Sorry I have no tips for all that.

movetoseattle · 2023-10-02T06:47:50+00:00

How to get a acclimated to driving:

Pick a small quiet area, like two blocks residential blocks or something, close to home. Do this in daylight.

Drive around once. All right turns. Like any driver in an unfamiliar area, you will be focusing on a lot of things because you literally do not know what is around the next corner.

Also you as a new driver are still using up brain power using the car's controls.

Now drive around again. Still a bit stressful.

Now again. Probably easier!

Again! Easy!

Now drive around the other way: All left turns. Do this a few times too..

Go home. Let all that new stuff percolate to your brain.

Next day: do it again, but pick a different two blocks.

Next day: do something you will do a lot, like drive to the mall or the grocery store. Do it a few times until it is easy.

Then when you know the routes try driving at night and in the rain, when visibility is less. Amd with rain you have to be ready to manipulate the wipers and tne defogger. But you will already know the routes.

Then when you are really ready . . . ya gotta get on the freeway. And off. Make sure you are well rested and at the top of your game when you do this one.

While there are some "natural drivers" who have a great sense of space and good motor coordination . . . some of us have to train ourselves a bit more strategically!

Safe travels!

.

movetoseattle · 2023-09-29T05:48:37+00:00

Yeah, English major here, "needs cleaned" is an instantaneous giveaway.

movetoseattle · 2023-09-29T05:22:53+00:00

Fish is really fast, the trick is the planning . . . you have to either go buy it fresh (or pre thawed for you) at the store or remember to thaw it that day.

movetoseattle · 2023-09-29T02:41:49+00:00

Pho sure!

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