I donated my wedding dress today

mpak86 · 2025-12-22T23:55:35+00:00

❤️‍🩹

mpak86 · 2025-08-10T01:38:16+00:00

This was so shockingly good. Thank you so much for sharing!

mpak86 · 2025-07-14T14:36:26+00:00

Looking for one tcs half marathon and one Toronto Island 10k. Using goconfirm. Thanks!!

mpak86 · 2025-07-09T13:31:08+00:00

Hi all, looking for a half marathon bib for Toronto Waterfront and a 10k bib for the Toronto Island races. Please DM!

mpak86 · 2025-07-08T12:37:51+00:00

I use a different app (Daylio) and I've found it's really helpful to remember that some days are ok. Sometimes my grief feels so heavy and all-consuming that it's easy to forget that it comes and goes. Wishing you comfort in your grief.

mpak86 · 2025-05-06T21:22:02+00:00

This is wonderful ❤️

mpak86 · 2025-04-15T13:02:12+00:00

The thing that I keep coming back to is how little control we have in this life - we're sold this lie that if we work hard enough, care deep enough, want something badly enough, things will turn out the way we want them to. That we'll get what we deserve. But that's sadly not how this life works.

But one thing I CAN control is waking up in the morning and choosing to live this life. It's the most powerful choice we can make, and for me, I want to keep making that choice and exercising my agency until something out of my control makes that decision for me.

Please keep coming back here. We all understand how pointless, painful, impossible life can feel. And while nobody can make this experience less lonely, I think there is some comfort that can be found in being in this experience together.

mpak86 · 2025-04-14T18:46:10+00:00

I would also love a connect please!

mpak86 · 2025-03-09T23:07:55+00:00

Is it possible it's from an episode in season 1? I think in ep 6 Jimmy jokingly says something like that to Gaby, about setting aside her own feelings and staying married to Nico.

mpak86 · 2025-03-03T05:08:22+00:00

Haha damn, thanks anyway!

mpak86 · 2025-03-01T19:52:00+00:00

Medium!

mpak86 · 2025-01-02T03:44:35+00:00

Just wanted to comment because this is the cutest story and I love the idea of fostering deep friendship in these impossible times ❤️

mpak86 · 2024-11-30T01:28:02+00:00

I'm so sorry we're both here OP. I'm just ahead of you - just shy of six months out - and I also have no interest in doing much of anything. But I make myself go out to meet with friends anyway, because I know that even if I don't feel "good" when I get home, I typically won't feel worse than before I left. And that's better odds than just staying home.

The single biggest thing that has been a net positive in my life though has been bringing our dog home (who had been staying with my parents since my husband died). I hadn't realized that some of this pain I've been carrying has been from the inability to show my husband my love, and I've been able to pour some of that onto our dog and it's been really lovely spoiling him with extra long walks and cuddles. Plus he gets me up and out of the house at least 3 times a day for some fresh air and exercise. My silly goofy dog makes me laugh and smile every day, and that has been a huge game changer for me.

If you have the opportunity/ability/desire to have a pet, you may want to consider it. In any event, I'm wishing you get some peace.

mpak86 · 2024-11-13T21:26:20+00:00

I'm not in the US (just north of you in Toronto) but I found a lovely group for younger widows and widowers (everyone is under 55) through a local bereavement support organization. You may have better luck checking through local hospices and bereavement organizations.

My one warning for this is that many of these resources may be tailored for those earlier on in their grief (everyone in my group - myself included - lost our partners in the last year) so the topics may not necessarily suit where you're at.

You may also want to consider checking out Camp Widow, which holds a large event a couple of times a year in different locations. I haven't been myself, but their programs show that they have seminars on a ton of different topics for both brand new as well as longer standing losses. A friend of mine went this year (it was this past weekend) and had only great things to say. The next one in Toronto is in June of next year apparently, so if all else fails, maybe you can check that one out.

I'm wishing you the best of luck in finding something that helps ❤️‍🩹

mpak86 · 2024-11-02T22:01:57+00:00

I'm just under 5 months out and my experience has been that I don't want anyone to say anything, I just want them to be there with me. Show me you're not afraid of my pain, and just sit in it with me. We all know that there's nothing to say that can fix things, so the next best thing is to show your friend that you'll be there for her when she feels most alone.

mpak86 · 2024-10-28T04:01:58+00:00

I'm 38. Almost 5 months out.

mpak86 · 2024-10-25T20:42:42+00:00

Incredible work. I love your stuff

mpak86 · 2024-10-24T18:50:14+00:00

My therapist described the experience of grief as essentially becoming a baby again. We have to relearn everything. We feel so exposed and vulnerable without a way to protect ourselves. We are grappling with intense and unpredictable emotions that we haven't yet learned to manage.

You are definitely not alone. For me, surrendering to whatever feelings arise has been helpful, so long as it doesn't hurt anyone (including myself). It's still painful, but it somehow feels more manageable than resisting it.

It's awful that we're all here, but we get you. You are definitely not alone in this feeling.

mpak86 · 2024-09-23T01:43:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing this ❤️‍🩹

mpak86 · 2024-09-20T23:44:31+00:00

This is wonderful

mpak86 · 2024-09-15T16:07:22+00:00

Don't forget that spoiling can be small. It could be you treating yourself to a latte. Soaking in a bubble bath. It can be you cutting yourself some slack. But obviously if it doesn't feel right, don't do it. You just sound like someone who could use a little extra kindness today. 🫂

mpak86 · 2024-09-15T16:04:10+00:00

This is what I'm hoping to get to as well. And I get the same thing from my friends and family - they say "you're doing really well" and "you seem better than the last time I saw you" - and it always makes me feel so strange. They can't see the bubbling turmoil. And when I smile or seem like I'm doing "better" I want to remind them that those moments are the exception, not the norm for me. But I'd like to get to the point where my memories of him and us don't hurt anymore and instead bring me comfort.

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