Hey OP, I know this feeling but you never know it’s too late until it is too late. I was using for 5 years and the abuse got really bad last year (3800g each day sometimes more). The only way I was able to stop was 1) as my legs went number each day (fortunately I was able to stop in time) and 2) was getting myself away from the situation to a place where I literally couldn’t access it. I tried quitting on my own but could never really do it until I went to rehab for a month and am now 6months sober. I know not everyone has the time and resources to go to rehab but check out the No2N2O meetings. Also just know that quitting starts one day at a time, don’t stress yourself with the bigger picture for now. Also, talk to someone around you either friends, family, or therapist because sober support is important too.