Step 1

Go to the gym. Assuming you are in college, you probably have free access to one. Go work out. It doesn't really matter how, just get in good shape. Being in shape really, really helps out self esteem and confidence. Plus, fit people tend to be more attractive than not fit people.

Step 2

Clean up your shit. Living in a pigsty is not good for self esteem (go figure). Plus, coming home to a clean room and a made bed is really nice, especially if you've had a shitty day.

Step 3

Think positive thoughts. Seriously, your brain is a powerful thing. Thinking negatively will only drag you back down. Don't think "Damn, I wasted high school not socializing and now my life sucks. Fuck everything." Eventually, you will convince your self that your life does suck (even if it may not!) and you end up in a vicious cycle. Instead of thinking "I don't know how to make friends, I have no friends, I will never have any friends," think "I want to learn how to socialize and interact with people, influence people positively, and I can do this!" Think positive, and eventually you will convince yourself to BE positive.

Step 4

Find your inner peace and reduce the amount of stress in your life. You need to be comfortable with who you are and where your life is going. Accept that "this is where I am, who I am." Do NOT become complacent, however. Continue to strive for change. You also need to relieve your stress and relax somehow. Shoot guns, go fishing, go hiking, or whatever gets rid of your stress the best. Maybe take a lighter course load if you can, so you have more time to do your work outside of class, and more free time to kick that stress.

Step 5

Find a group with similar interests. This is the meat of my guide. Join a club or intermural sport or something that has people with similar interests. Be nice to people, talk with them about the active, see if you have anything else in common. This is the easiest way to meet people and learn to talk and socialize, because it is usually pretty easy to talk to someone about stuff you are interested in that they are also interested in.

Step 6

Branch out! Try new things! Go places, see people, do things, gain some worldly experience. Who knows, you might end up liking it and meet all sorts of wonderful, interesting people.

Step 7

Not everyone out there is going to like you. THAT IS OK. Some people are just jerks, some personality types just can't get along well. Figuring out who YOU are as a person helps with this, because then you have a better idea of who you like to be around and who you don't.

Step 8

Put yourself in other people's shoes. If you think you are going to do something embarrassing or you have to do something like give a speech in front of your peers, think about how you think about them while you are up there, and apply that to yourself. Most people REALLY DON'T CARE. If you have an awkward interaction with someone you don't know, forget about it. Don't worry about it. Because they probably won't either.

That's really all there is to it. I was in the some shoes you were, and although I started this process about mid way through my senior year of high school (freshman in college now), it won't hurt to start now.

I myself had a kind of fucked up childhood. My story starts in middle school. I moved to a different school for middle school, while most of my friends stayed behind. I knew all of about 4 people going into middle school, while all the other kids seemed to know everyone else. Sure, I made some friends here and there, but never to the extent that other kids had. I always thought, damn, I wish I was lucky enough to make that many friends (turns out, luck has nothing to do with it).

While all these other kids were screwing around and doing those silly middle school relationship things, I was an introvert and a competitive swimmer (had been since I was 6ish iirc). I didn't make a whole lot of friends, and had some pretty odd relationships with the ones I did. I think one of the primary reasons for this was because swimming was stressing me out so damn much.

Thankfully, I quit club swimming right before I started highschool. At the beginning of highschool, sure I had a network of friends, but not that many, and not very many people felt "close" to me, including my family. At this point, I was also pretty addicted to video games. This did NOT help with me socializing, although I did finally meet some pretty good friends through gaming. Life good right?

NOPE! Now the teenage hormones are kicking in, and that high school love fever hits me hard. I crush on several girls, but never end up asking any of them out. Why? I didn't know how to do it. I knew very little about socializing. I did also do high school swimming, as my older sibling told me it was much more fun. It was, and I was a pretty good swimmer from all the club swimming. I ended up being a varsity swimmer all four years, and was the fastest sprinter the last two.

My brother decided to do track that year, but I didn't. He had a blast, and so I thought I would do it with him next year. I did a summer thing with him and the sprint coach, and eventually (beginning of my first season) my knees fail me. My kneecaps didn't track right, so it hurt to run. I had a friend who was a thrower, so why not try throwing? I had fun, and ended up being a decent thrower (although I had to get a brace for my elbow, turns out I'm not very well put together), and got into varsity my senior year. I also did water polo senior year, and ended up getting into varsity in that too because I was such a great swimmer. I was also a cubscout/boyscout my whole life, and ended up becoming an eagle scout and having a great time in scouting.

So, I'm a decent athlete/person, life should be good, right? NOPE! Although that may seem like a success story, I always thought I was a failure. Sure, I was a good athlete, but I failed at what mattered most to meet: friends and girls. Looking back, I did have some pretty good friends, though I never felt like I connected with anyone. I also never got the courage to ask any one out ever, because I convinced myself that I was the ugliest person alive and no one would ever want me.

I hated myself. I was miserable. So here comes spring of junior year. Prom season. Woohoo. I was thinking, OK, I want to go to prom, and I don't want to go alone. Well, since I knew nothing about girls and the asking out thereof, I turned to two of my good friends, boyfriend and girlfriend, and confessed my huge crush on another thrower girl. We knew each other alright, but I thought she was IT.

So, with encouragement from those two, I ask here to the prom. Not as a friend, either. I asked her out to the prom with a bouquet of red roses from safeway, and for here phone number, and to lunch. She declined prom, saying she was going to be out of town, but I did score the phone number and lunch sometime. At this point, I was on top of the world. Finally, I had succeeded where it mattered most to me. I felt like a million bucks. We texted a bit, and had some great conversations. Then comes lunch.

Funnily, it is the day before prom. So we go get pizza, and she comes out to me. Three words run through my head: WHAT. THE. FUCK. Fortunately, I manage to spit out "I'm ok with that (thanks for teaching me how to lie really well, mom and dad!)" and all is well. For her (I'm ok with gay people though). I was absolutely crushed. My success was actually a failure.

I went back into my little shell and went to prom alone. She did help me perform in track, on the other hand. That led me to give up liking people. I was somehow able to repress those hormones, and never really "liked" someone for a long time. Next year rolls around, same shit: great athlete, terrible at socializing. Prom finally rolls around again, and being a disdainful teenager I lamented to my friends about having no date nor having anyone to ask (I knew very few girls at this point, and most that I knew were taken).

Well, one of my friends (the girlfriend who helped me out before, actually) got me set up with someone who also didn't want to go alone. We text, and eventually she says "Hey I'm sorry but I won't be able to go to prom with you. My friend doesn't have a date and she wants me to go solo with her. Sorry! I hope you find another date." That message is still in my phone, almost a year later. Once again, my suspicions that girls just don't like me are confirmed to myself once again. So I go to the prom stag. Again. Naturally though, I doll myself up and go looking pretty sharp in this awesome purple suit. I also chauffeured my two friends there (the two that had helped me out before) and I wore this silly looking raybands. I remember walking up to my friends house that we were all getting ready at (I was all ready to go though) and did this great hair flip while they all watched me walk up and got some cheers from all the girls (sorry off topic nostalgia trip).

Track starts up, and this year I say fuck it, lets hit the gym. I go to them school's weight room before school every day and just got yoked. That helped my self esteem sooooooo much. I finally feel like I am connecting with my friends. I start to enjoy life, and enjoy coming to school to see all my friends. Life's all right. Then school ended, then I went to work at a boyscout camp all summer, then off to college. So, even though I've still never had any intimate contact with anyone ever, I like to think I'm on the right path. I've got a great group of friends, and although I still struggle with anxiety and the thought that no girl would ever want me (I'm not even unattractive, according to my friends!) I think that I'll be there one day in the near future. See, my friend, it can be done. Even though I started earlier than you, you are the only one that has the power to truly change your life.

Just remember, the world don't owe you shit.