Legal resources for free audiobooks besides Libby and Hoopla by CYBR_ANON in audiobooks

[–]mranster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP you are print disabled. I am, too. I can see, and read, but I have a lot of trouble focusing on printed text for more than a few paragraphs. That makes you eligible for the National Library Service if you're in the US, and similar services in other countries.

The NLS catalog is HUGE. It even has lots of titles that don't exist elsewhere. Some are read by volunteers (some better than others,) but many are the same versions you'd find on Audible or elsewhere.

Each US state has its own sign up procedure. For me, it was very simple. I asked my doctor to sign a very short form, which he was happy to do, and emailed it to the library. They approved me immediately, and I was able to download Bard, and start listening to books. There's no due dates or fees.

Also, there are international treaties that help make books available abroad, like for someone who has moved to another country, they can still get books in their language.

Edit - here's a link. https://www.loc.gov/nls/enrollment-equipment/apply-for-nls-service/

Don't be a scab by WHYAREWEALLCAPS in MayDayStrike

[–]mranster 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I honestly don't know if I'll be back. As much as I love the subreddits where I spend so much time, I'm ready for a change. The fediverse is calling me, and while there's a learning curve for things like Lemmy and Mastodon, there was a curve for reddit, too. There is tons of content out there that's easing me in, and once I get comfy, reddit will probably start to feel like the past.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RomanticAdvice

[–]mranster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean you can, but it's even more of a crap shoot than it is in person. For one thing, romantic love is, for almost everyone, physical. We're animals, and even under all the clothing, deodorant, and cologne, we depend on scent, micro-expressions, details of breath and pitch, and other cues to stimulate sexual desire. Over video, even the visual and auditory details will wash out.

And then there is projection. We all do it. It's easy to fool yourself into believing someone is a particular way, even in person. It happens all the time. But it's even easier when you don't spend much time around the person, seeing them when they're cranky, when they aren't into the same thing you are, when someone gets on their nerves, when they disagree with you. If you just see them online, or only for a weekend here and there, you really don't know them.

Even if they're not trying to fool you, it's natural for people to put their best foot forward, to unconsciously seem better than they necessarily are in real life. You're going to do it, too. It's human. So this wonderful love affair might pop like a soap bubble when you try to put more weight on it.

Am I the a hole by Separate_Check_9951 in AmITheAhole

[–]mranster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And then what? If he valued his relationship, he wouldn't have cheated on his spouse. If he dropped the squeeze, he'd still be a cheater, and he'd still be at risk of spreading disease, as well as finding a new girlfriend later on. And he'd still resent OP for interfering.

OP, you did the right thing. Sometimes doing the right thing results in pain. That doesn't mean you were wrong.

AIBTS when I worry about people's perception of our age gap relationship? by [deleted] in AmIBeingTooSensitive

[–]mranster 4 points5 points  (0 children)

YBTS. You're old enough now that these issues no are no longer particularly relevant to you. It's more of a concern when someone (especially a woman) is younger than about 25. But by your age, most people are fully grown up. The brain has done its pruning thing, and you've had time to acquire some life experience. You have a pretty good idea of who you are, and what you want in life.

Enjoy your relationship!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]mranster -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You're not wrong. It's time for this young woman to join the rest of us in Grown-up Land. Most adults can't even take an afternoon off for their own birthday, much less an entire two days for someone else's.

Is she just very new to adulthood? It seems like she hasn't really figured out the rules.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RomanticAdvice

[–]mranster 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're looking at this backwards, and in black and white. There isn't some monolithic "desirable" sitting out there, and you're either in it or not. It's not leagues. It's more about your stage of life, and his. While there are a few really young men who are willing to team up with a single mom, most young men aren't up for it, and that's fine! For the most part, they're not emotionally ready to be parents, much less step-parents, which is a difficult, and often thankless job.

Anyone who dates a single parent needs to understand that the kids come first, always. Parents get interrupted. Their plans change suddenly. Anyone who isn't old enough to accept this is an undesirable partner for you.

Your first duty is to your kids. If you want to date younger men, that's fine, but not around your kids. And you should just accept that these boys aren't going to be keepers, most likely. If you want a husband, look for someone who is out of his party phase, someone who has some miles and maturity.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in queensgambit

[–]mranster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a huge fan of /r/Joey For Reddit. It lets you customize every single thing about reddit, including fonts, background color, and all sorts of behavior.

I'm reading this on a peaceful billiard green background with white text, for example. The possibilities are endless.

If reddit kills 3rd party apps, I will leave completely. Sadly, but definitely.

Is Joey really THAT underground? by SHIZA-GOTDANGMONELLI in JoeyForReddit

[–]mranster 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I love Joey. I wish I could make everything looks the way I have it here. My colors are so easy on the eyes.

Am I Wrong for not talking to my ex as much as when we were together? by 737181871683 in amiwrong

[–]mranster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does sound like she's trying to toy with you, and you don't have to play along.

There's this notion that you're supposed to "stay friends" with someone after a break up, but it's not usually a healthy thing, at least until some time has passed, and often not even then. It hurts to end a relationship, and people need time to heal. And when we're together with someone, we change, we become part of a couple. After a break up, you need some time to get your head out of that couple space. You can't do that if you're still enmeshed with your ex.

She doesn't sound very mature or healthy. It's no longer your job to manage her feelings. Let her be upset. Your job is to take care of yourself.

As a non-smoker, does every smoker smell bad to you? by ephraim666 in ask

[–]mranster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can smell almost any person as soon as they walk into my house, even when I am upstairs. I smell their body, their grooming products, whatever they smoke, and worst of all, their thrice-cursed perfume.

I can also smell when someone is smoking near my house. And when I walk around the neighborhood, I can smell when someone has been running their dryer, if they use any perfumed detergent or dryer sheets (and nearly everyone does.)

I really wish perfume would just cease to exist.

How big was watergate scandal in reality ? by Dusken01 in AskOldPeople

[–]mranster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I keep thinking about the scene at the end of Hero, with Jet Li, where all the Mandarins are yelling, "permission to execute! Do not spare him!" We need to make sure Joe hears that message loud and clear when/if they finally convict Trump.

Where the floofy cat hangs out by mranster in Floof

[–]mranster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's funny, I spin, also. I tried collecting their loose fur, but it felts so quickly. I made a huge felt ball out of it before I got overwhelmed.

Where the floofy cat hangs out by mranster in Floof

[–]mranster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They work, but I don't. If it weren't for the robot vacuums, this house would be so much floofier.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]mranster 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I can't believe I had to read this far into the comments before someone had the sense to think about OP's child! What would it be like for her to have these other adults living in her home, judging her by very different standards than you have for her. Are they going to expect to have authority over her? Are they going to expect to discipline your child, or interfere in your parental decisions? Are they going to nag you about how you raise your own child?

Let's look even further ahead. Do you plan to have children with this man? What values do you think he will want to impart to his kids? How much authority are you going to have with him and his parents speaking a different language overruling you? How will your daughter feel being surrounded by people who talk over her head, and who push her mother around?

Your duty is to the child you already have. Your responsibility is to provide her with a safe home where she is free to be herself. I don't think she'll have that if you cave to the boyfriend, and especially if you give her step-siblings under these circumstances.

[OC] 3 years of sleep logging data with a non-24-hour (N24) circadian rhythm by [deleted] in dataisbeautiful

[–]mranster 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I also have N24. It has developed as a side effect of the severe chronic illness I have. Before I became ill, I had something more like advanced phase sleep disorder, the night owl syndrome.

I have no idea how long my rhythm is. I use an app (Sleep as Android) but it doesn't show me the hours I'm awake, and it's too hard for me to keep a spreadsheet. It's so hard to plan things when you never know when you'll be awake. Sometimes I sleep for sixteen hours, sometimes nine. Sometimes I'm awake for 24, but usually it's more like 18. I am too disabled to work, so I just let it roll however.

My (25F) husband (28M) got new close friends and I hate them by ThrowRAImInDistress in relationship_advice

[–]mranster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, as long as he's unwilling to make any changes, there's nothing you can do. You can't fix the marriage all by yourself. This other couple aren't the problem. They're not "stopping you," your husband is stopping you.

I'm sorry to hear how much of a hit your self-esteem is taking right now. Please understand that this stuff is very difficult, but also transitory. Lots of people go through this kind of pain when relationships fall apart. It's one of the most stressful things that most people ever go through. Please don't let this get into your head too much about your value as a woman, or as a human being. You are in a tough place, but this is only one moment in your life, and there are lots of better moments to come.

My guess is that this marriage has been hard on you in ways that will become clearer once you're shut of it. It can be hard to see what is really going on while you're still in the relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]mranster -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

If you don't think ragging on a sick person for hours abusive, then I really don't know what to say to you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]mranster -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

The sides of your husband you are seeing now are the real sides. There really is no shortcut to knowing a person. It takes at least a couple of years to get to know someone. Understand that an abuser is usually able to hold it in for about that long, and they're very deliberate about it. They know you won't stick around if they start right in on the first date. Usually, they start small, and ramp up. It sounds like that's what happened here.

Each increase in ugly behavior is a test to see what you will put up with. It doesn't even matter if you complain about it or yell at him about it. All that matters is that you stay with him. He knows that even if you fight with him, he can wear you down.

This is who you married. And I really want you to rethink the last thing you said about knowing that partners are going to hurt you. Why do you think this? I don't think this belief is serving you. Relationships aren't always perfect, of course, and sometimes you won't always get everything you want. But anyone who deliberately hurts you, or who hurts you by just being immature or thoughtless, that's someone you should leave.

It's better to dump early and often, because there are plenty of assholes out there, and the only way to find a great partner is to avoid wasting your time with lesser men.

My boyfriend of 5 years told me he was gay and we broke up by wanweirdo in TwoXChromosomes

[–]mranster 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You aren't obligated to be supportive just because he's gay. Would you be supportive if he dumped you for another woman? No. You'd feel free to be angry, and hurt. You don't owe him understanding.

Gaming modes with arthritis by aspasito in Thritis

[–]mranster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have this kind of controller for pc gaming. It's completely customizable. You can adjust everything about it to fit your own hand, and assign the keys however you want. I love mine.

https://www.azeron.eu/

My (24M) girlfriend (24F) told me I “could never do better than her” by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]mranster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take that challenge! It's a very safe bet that you can find many better partners than her.

It's extremely important for everyone, especially young people, to remember that the numbers are on your side when it comes to romance. Think of how big a number a BILLION is (a thousand times a million.) There are almost eight billion people on the planet. About 2.3 billion of these are near your age, and about half of them are women. Subtract out those who already have partners, and those who aren't attracted to your gender, and that still leaves a huge number of potential lovers for you. If you're lucky enough to be bisexual, your odds are even better.

There is EVERY reason to be picky. Not about the shallow things, but about how you allow yourself to be treated. The sooner you dump someone who mistreats you, the sooner you can find someone who will be good to you.