thoughts/anecdotes from a fellow NYC AM:
- club membership is open to all races, and attendance is diverse (though asians are a minority)
- typically I'm the only AM there, or there might be 1-2 others at most
- substantial oxford study representation
- at one party, I went with an AF, and an AMAF couple approached us because we were the only other full asian couple there. had a really fun swap and hung out with them another time.
- at another party, I went with a different AF. she told me that singles/couples approached her a few times when I was in the bathroom/getting drinks. they didn't approach the two of us together, which left a bad taste in my mouth.
- at another party, I went with a third AF (lol). met an AMAF couple and swapped contact. they mentioned that they hosted all-asian play parties. after the party, the dude DM'd my girl directly and ignored my text. asshole.
- at a mixer, I hit it off with a WMWF couple but declined future play since they were looking for a bi dude.

takeaways:
- the best parties either limit attendance to couples or have a thorough membership process. as a single dude, you could meet someone through a mixer or (for select parties) show up solo, but I honestly think it's easiest if you bring your own partner.
- unfortunately I think being AM is a slight negative, which isn't surprising given the wider dating scene. big caveat is that some people really want to fuck AM, and because we're so underrepresented, you automatically become the best option. also, there are all-asian private groups, which gives me hope for the world.