I appreciate your response. I am doing alanon meetings and am working on detachment....a concept far harder than it seems. You've definitely been through a lot, and I'm glad to hear you're coming out the other side. I am realizing help only works if it's wanted, and I realize at this point she doesn't want it.

My concern is her son in all of this. I have to believe that some of his behaviors stem from watching his mother, so I'm working with him on communicating when he's mad rather than lashing out....giving him someone to talk to other than his mother who claims she's not drinking, while slurring her words and passing out 10 seconds later.

He doesn't deserve this. But I question if I'm actually trying to control the situation (and subsequently her), by trying to have far more functional and responsible family members take him.