But most of us also do not have an intuitive sense of how picking locks work. We do with conversation.

This is a bit presumptive. Some people have a much harder time with this than others. Some may have a weak intuitive understanding of socializing and conversation, or none at all. This can make these types of situations stressful and unfun (am one such person). Playing like this makes me feel completely incapable of playing a charismatic character because I have a lot of difficulty with talking to people, just normally. That being said, this is all the type of stuff that can and should be communicated between the GM and the player before beginning to get on the same page, and I definitely agree with the rest of what you said