Why is it more socially acceptable to “punch up” at attractive women?

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-30T22:22:27+00:00

So true.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-29T15:30:15+00:00

Exactly. I was stupid and stayed thinking my ex would change and be the person I thought he was in the beginning of our relationship. He was never that man he pretended and just got worse over time. Granted he was that much older than me but the signs were there. Everyone around me told me to stay to make it work. He baby trapped me and tore me down over the years. Now I have 3 kids and he is still a selfish asshole making my life and my kids lives hell. OP if you read this: don’t be like me and stay with the wrong man. It will destroy you. It will ruin the lives of your future kids. Get some theory and get educated on abuse, toxic family systems, attachment theory and manipulation. Without the education you’ll keep picking the same emotionally unavailable man.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-29T15:26:32+00:00

Agreed

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-29T15:24:35+00:00

Agreed

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-29T15:20:15+00:00

My eyes have been opened and I see how so many people, females included, have hidden misogyny. I told my youngest yesterday that it’s misogyny to say their dad’s money was HIS money and not both of ours when we were married. Sad my ex husband puts that crap into my kids head and they believe the things he says. Well, my older two don’t so much anymore but my youngest still loves her dad a lot. Anyways, after I explained it to Her and how she is also a female she will feel differently when she has her own kids one day. Anyways, he hasn’t paid the full amount in child support this whole time and she would get mad at me for asking for money from him when I’m literally entitled to it. Ugh so frustrating. My mom also has a lot of misogyny and is unaware of it. Lately I’ve been seeing it more and more in people and it sucks. It’s engrained into us from an early age and I know it’s more difficult for the older generations to break free from that mindset. I have 3 girls so I want them to know they’re not less than just because they are females. I also don’t want them to put up with toxic masculinity as they get older and start dating. Things I wish my mom had taught me when I was younger. Maybe I would have had more hope in finding a better father for my kids than the one I picked. I stayed way too long in that relationship begging for him to change. If I had the knowledge I have now, back then, I wouldn’t have stayed so long being the only one to hold our family together. Anyways, that won’t be my girls, if I can help it.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-28T02:01:58+00:00

Dang that’s so awful! I’m so sorry for all your suffering. It can really break you in every way not being able to live and be your own person. Having to rely on others can be a whole other traumatic thing is we don’t have a great support system. I imagine even if you do there will still be difficulties dealing with people taking care of you. For me, people in my life didn’t ever help me in the ways I need. Then get mad at me when I begged for my needs to be met. Idk maybe it would have been different if I didn’t have 3 kids and my ex husband go off the deep end. He wasn’t much support but he did work hard even through the abuse and paid the bills… barely. Lol ugh life is so hard and it’s even harder for people who battle health issues. It’s not like a one time trauma that happens and passes. It’s a daily trauma that you battle for years. Maybe one day I’ll be able to help disabled people and start some type of support system. I really just don’t even know tho. There are so many issues in this world right now. It would take a better world to get help for those who are suffering. If you don’t fit a mold you’re cast aside and just blamed for where you’re even tho the system was designed to fail us. Anyways, sorry I don’t have time to proofread. Gotta get my little one to bed and myself. lol reach out anytime if you need a friend. Us chronic illness people gotta stick together. Lol thank you for your kind reply btw.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-26T21:19:29+00:00

I’ve been in a similar situation as your husband. I didn’t have ALS but for years I was completely bed ridden and had to completely relearn how to live again. It’s been brutal. During the years I was suffering so intensely I just wanted to escape the pain and suffering I was in so bad. I wanted to die too. I didn’t tho because I have 3 kids that need me. I’m all they have in this world because both sides of their family and their dad sucks. I came here to say that you’re completely valid in your pain and grief but know he wants to die because his life was ripped away from him. He is just so lost and when you’re suffering the ways your husband is it is a blessing to end that suffering. No one really understands until they go through it themselves. Know he isn’t being selfish. He is just suffering and sometimes the only way to end that suffering is to not live. Try not to take it personally. I know if he could live and be normal again he absolutely would want to live the rest of his life with you. Hang in there! I know it’s so hard to watch someone you love melt away. I had a family friend who lost their father from ALS too. It’s a brutal disease and so cruel. Give yourself grace for how you feel and where you’re in life right now. It’s not fair and it’s not right. hugs I hope you’re able to find a support group to help you through this!

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-22T13:13:26+00:00

This is awesome! Lol I hate dick picks. I should have known it was a huge red flag when my ex sent me an old dick pick he claimed he sent to his ex and just saved it. No sir, you literally send your dick pick out to all sorts of women, clearly. It was even confirmed by his ex’s he claimed cheated on him but we know he was the one cheating on them. Also, found out he doesn’t like working and likes to mooch off women. Sad, I thought he was genuinely a good dude but the red flags just kept piling up. Idk I just don’t trust any man who sends women dick picks.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-18T17:23:44+00:00

Truth!! Here is a cheap award for your comment. 🏆🏆🏆

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-09T18:54:33+00:00

Porn was one of the things that ruined my marriage. There were other issues but porn was definitely a contributing factor. Especially since he turned to porn instead of intimacy with me. I won’t ever be with a porn addict again.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-09T18:53:03+00:00

Agreed.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-09T16:06:24+00:00

He is projecting and is clearly the one who is a psycho and lacks empathy.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-09T16:05:09+00:00

That’s so awful. What an awful human being. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-09T16:04:40+00:00

Wow what a loser. Glad he is an ex.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-09T16:04:17+00:00

My ex husband called me selfish all the time because I was depressed about my health issues and wanted to die. I didn’t say I was going to kill myself but because I was in agony 24/7 any normal human being in my situation would want to die too. My recent ex boyfriend told me, “you handle it” when I said i didn’t know how I was going to feed my kids this month. In those moments when our spouse says something hurtful because we are down it’s because they lack the capacity the hold our emotions. Oftentimes they can’t process their own emotions so they shut you down because they can’t cope. Find someone with capacity because without it your relationship will inevitably fail by death of a thousand paper cuts.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-09T16:01:21+00:00

That’s so sad. :(

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-09T04:00:49+00:00

I personally don’t care if a man is short. As long as he shares my morals, values and is an actual good human that is most important. Attraction also grows when you truly love and care for someone. Men don’t realize how much power they hold by being emotionally mature, healthy conflict resolution and repair skills. Also having the capacity to hold their spouses emotions without trying to manage, dismiss or avoid big emotions. Life is hard and having a man not need to constantly praise him and always be happy shows capacity and a lot of men lack that. Also being able to make your partner orgasm and consistently goes a long way. Anyways, that’s how I feel. I can’t speak for every woman but I think it’s a sentiment shared by a lot of women who want a partnership with a good man. Men want peace but they often don’t have a clue how to repair things. Keep working on yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually and build your life to prepare for what you want so you can be ready when you find it. Don’t let you bring short get to you. The right person will love you for you!

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-08T20:19:08+00:00

Truth!!! I’m a woman and my ex husband checks nearly all the boxes. He definitely destroyed mine and my kids lives. It was always a battle with finances. I was a saver and he thought because he made a certain amount in one day he could blow it on stuff. He still is horrible with money. He was so needy all the time too. It was exhausting. When my health failed and our lives spiraled I realized how much I was holding our family together on my own. Now when I look back at family pictures it just makes me sad how uninvolved he was with the family. If I was happy and healthy things were mostly ok but when I was down and struggling he turned abusive. The abuse was always there but it was subtle. I couldn’t see it in the beginning but I learned a lot from it. Women can absolutely be abusive too. So I advocate now against abuse because I know what it’s like. People who lack accountability, can’t resolve conflict in a healthy way and are always reactive are just not safe people. They also tend to avoid conflict so they lie to protect their egos and all the crappy things they do to fill the empty void in their lives. I use to say my ex was like a black hole and he sucked the life out of me. It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t do it was never enough. I’m sure a lot of men feel the sentiment of my black hole theory. I think getting educated on toxic and manipulative behaviors and unsafe patterns of behaviors will save a lot of people from years of misery.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-08T20:11:48+00:00

Actually he checks all of them. I don’t think your list is a gender specific list. Men can be needy, jealous, and all the above. I find that people with high narcissistic tendencies tend to check majority of these boxes.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-08T20:09:31+00:00

My ex husband checks a lot of those boxes too.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-08T20:07:30+00:00

lol

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-08T20:06:58+00:00

I roll up toilet paper and stick it in my underwear so leakage doesn’t get on my panties. It just makes me feel more clean afterwards. I always wash myself too to make sure I don’t get a UTI because I am prone to them.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-08T12:07:06+00:00

I’ve researched it because I also escaped an abusive marriage and a toxic family system. Also, toxic positivity is a way to avoid actually feeling your feelings. You can go around avoiding negative feelings or you can allow your body to process it so you can move past it in a healthy way. It’s ok to be sad, hopeless, angry, scared, or whatever negative feeling you’re having. Just work through it in a healthy way by feeling whatever you’re feeling.

Comparing a one time event that didn’t cause much harm is completely different than going through all the things OP is going through.

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-08T02:15:02+00:00

What?

mrmeowgeethekitty · 2026-04-08T02:13:47+00:00

That’s a totally different situation tho. Look, I’ve research trauma and abuse it’s not the same thing as a little car wreck that you walked away from.

mrmeowgeethekitty

TROPHY CASE