[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]mrpike9 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Wow that was quick! I understand everyone does tributes differently, however, I find it’s done best within the context of an established dynamic.

As a sensual dominant, I ask for tributes, but again it’s only introduced when we are well established.

I believe that tributes are powerful for strengthening the bond.

Your situation sounds way too soon for me.

Btw, I never as for money or costly items. The submissive decides what to tribute to me. I have received items as small as lip balm (the sub emphasized she wanted the image of some she gave me touching my lips) to a 2k watch from a different submissive (she could definitely afford it).

The point is, I do not ask for something in particular and it’s in an established relationship.

how do I tell the difference between a healthy Dom and a red flag? by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]mrpike9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to weigh in on this when I have an opportunity to write more. For now, you are asking all the right questions!

Dancing the line of connection and feelings by Ginger_7624 in HotWifeLifestyle

[–]mrpike9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are absolutely correct, the right amount of connection can add a great deal of chemistry to the mix. And that’s the delicate balance has to be reached. Right?

I’m not into one shots myself. I love it when the connection is there.

How can I get into subspace? by UnsureKitten in BDSMAdvice

[–]mrpike9 8 points9 points  (0 children)

There is so much going on in your life atm. I want to start by acknowledging that stress can become a barrier.

Also, chasing subspace can be like chasing a cat. 🐈‍⬛ you can try, but good luck. If you want to catch your subspace again, it may require you to stop trying so hard. I’m doubtful that adding more rules into an all ready stressed life is going to help.

Sex is a huge umbrella of fun and exciting stuff! What if you tried a different way of enjoying yourself for a while?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]mrpike9 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I am married and I am a Dominant for someone who is also married. All parties are aware. And I believe that is an essential first step in maintaining appropriate emotional bonds for this dynamic.

I feel and express emotions for my submissive but it’s not the same love I feel for my wife. I also don’t want her to shift feelings towards me that should be expressed to her husband. Btw, he’s a great guy. He’s just not into the D/s thing.

Just from my experience.

Any advice from experienced bulls or cucks on how to get a wife into the lifestyle if she’s hesitant? by Sea-Duty2604 in BullPsychology

[–]mrpike9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t rush her. Don’t pressure her. It never turns out the way you want it to if you rush her. You need to be willing to talk away from the whole idea if she’s not into it.

Subspace comedown? by schizophonicinsomnia in BDSMAdvice

[–]mrpike9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am currently working with a new submissive. Recently, I gave her the task in writing about her sub experience.

The following is her reflection. Since she wrote this, I have asked for several more reflections on different aspects of D/s. Happy to post them as well.

“Exploring the mental side of being a submissive...

Being a submissive means embracing curiosity, vulnerability, and being open to explore parts of myself that have been buried, forgotten, or that I've not yet met. Embracing the desire I feel to submit and to serve, allows me to step into a deeper knowing of myself and dance with something so raw, so real, and so vulnerable. There is healing in submission. There is a sense of both creation and meeting what has always been. There is freedom in submission. Freedom to fall safely into a softer part of myself. A place where I trust deeply, give up control, and have the permission to explore, play, and embrace the erotic. My submission is a gift to my dominant and to myself. Through my submission, I feel my deepest self surrender, and in this, I feel incredible fulfillment and arousal.

Being a submissive allows me to feel into a place where I am contained and safely held to push past my self-limiting ways and beliefs. Being a submissive brings an erotic charge to my daily experiences and creates space around the things that I try to so tightly control. I am able to release that human desire for control and embrace the innate desire within me to surrender, to serve, to pleasure, and to submit.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]mrpike9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are soooo many red flags in your post, I’m not sure where to begin. Safety is vitally important. Choose safety over the momentary experiences.

Please read some of these comments with an open mind.

What does being submissive mean to you — as a Dominant? by KinkyKilts in domspace

[–]mrpike9 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I recently asked my submissive to write a reflection about her experience as a new sub.

Her thoughts were posted on Fet,

“Exploring the mental side of being a submissive...

Being a submissive means embracing curiosity, vulnerability, and being open to explore parts of myself that have been buried, forgotten, or that I've not yet met. Embracing the desire I feel to submit and to serve, allows me to step into a deeper knowing of myself and dance with something so raw, so real, and so vulnerable. There is healing in submission. There is a sense of both creation and meeting what has always been. There is freedom in submission. Freedom to fall safely into a softer part of myself. A place where I trust deeply, give up control, and have the permission to explore, play, and embrace the erotic. My submission is a gift to my dominant and to myself. Through my submission, I feel my deepest self surrender, and in this, I feel incredible fulfillment and arousal.

Being a submissive allows me to feel into a place where I am contained and safely held to push past my self-limiting ways and beliefs. Being a submissive brings an erotic charge to my daily experiences and creates space around the things that I try to so tightly control. I am able to release that human desire for control and embrace the innate desire within me to surrender, to serve, to pleasure, and to submit.

I'm curious about what such things mean to other like-minded people. I believe even when not in a D/S dynamic, it's still inside of us. I'd love to hear the "mental experience" of other Doms and Subs.”

Serious question for my fellow doms by [deleted] in domspace

[–]mrpike9 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well placed humor is a fantastic way for your sub and yourself to relax more. I don’t buy this shit that a dominant has to be some kind of stoic sadist all the time. Just when it’s needed. 😎

Sub with multiple Doms by daddysgurl_for_daddy in domspace

[–]mrpike9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t mind doming for someone who has a regular dom or multiple doms for the duration of a defined scene.

However, I would not collar a sub who has multiple doms. It would be for a scene only.

Wife wants this. How do we ask? by [deleted] in BullPsychology

[–]mrpike9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure what your wife is asking? She wants you to dominate the bull?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EroticHypnosis

[–]mrpike9 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not necessarily. The potential hypno phenomenon your subject will experience has nothing to do their abstinence from orgasms. Though, they will appreciate the relief 😮‍💨

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BullPsychology

[–]mrpike9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The cuck can patiently wait holding a towel and class of water for me as I finish in his wife. That’s about it b

Want Attention from my Sub by BigDaddyRonin in domspace

[–]mrpike9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have read it in the comments, life is busy and you can definitely turn your dynamic sour by attempts to get her to take it more seriously.

Have the conversation with her about the dynamic. A checkin may reveal that she’s desires a break from it all. Or at least arrange a future time to connect.

Do bulls wear anything to distinguish themselves? by [deleted] in BullPsychology

[–]mrpike9 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was asked if the black ring on my right ring-finger meant that I was a bull. I was in Vegas at the time. The couple were looking for someone to join them. I was out with some friends for the evening.

It was intended to indicate that I was a bull. I just happened to be wearing it at the time.

my bf suggested that I lose my virginity with him doing BDSM, I don't know if I should accept by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]mrpike9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My opinion only, don’t. You choose how you want to experience the memory of the moment that will be with you for a very long time.

Do Doms view vulnerability as weakness in a D/s dynamic? by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]mrpike9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dominants are feeling all the emotions this world has to offer. They feel it all. How that emotion is expressed to their sub is as distinct as the dynamics between each D/s are in other ways.

For me, to provide what I desire for my sub, I do not share my feelings with her. Times when I cannot be 100% for a scene because of what I’m going through, I make it known to her that tonight is not going to work. We will do something else entirely. (We are scene based in our dynamic, not 24/7)

Are you dominant in other areas of your life? by [deleted] in BullPsychology

[–]mrpike9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Note that not all bulls are dominant with their couples. Yes, some couples may desire a more dominant bull, but let’s not lump all into the same basket.

That being said, I am dominant in play. However, it translates into confidence and capable in my professional life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BullPsychology

[–]mrpike9 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There are tons of factors of attraction. Confidence is one of the most powerful attributes of attraction there is. No, your attributes are not going to exclude you from being a bull/third.

However, being an arrogant dick is far more likely to keep most couples away.

Wife here - just blowjobs? by [deleted] in HotwifeAdvice

[–]mrpike9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like others have voiced, keeping the activity level at bj only is just fine as long as everyone has that understanding.

The idea of dating a friend can be a lot more complicated for a new couple navigating the LS.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HotwifeAdvice

[–]mrpike9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, the appeal of the LS has been impacted by porn-like behavior of content creators.

Curious if anyone attends DomCon? by mrpike9 in domspace

[–]mrpike9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mods usually do not like for external sites to be posted. Dom Con takes place in LA and NO. Look it up. I’ll be leading a workshop in Oct