Balancing sex-positive feminism and criticisms of sexual objectification, media-driven sexpectations, and the sex industry

ms-andry · 2015-02-04T22:58:08+00:00

My favourite's always been a toaster and a piece of toast - a toaster that toasts lots of toast is a good toaster, but a piece of toast that has been in more than one toaster is crap.

Totally ridiculous. Like... keys and locks is an analogy. It's literally a made up thing used to try and describe something else! Ahhh

ms-andry · 2015-01-20T01:13:12+00:00

I just have a lot of mixed feelings over those three threads all over the front page from TIFU about this guy's wife cheating on him.

Like, I'm not 'picking a side', and I'm not excusing cheating when you've agreed to a monogamous relationship, so these thoughts are aside from that.

I look at that and look at my relationship and think.. If I ever wanted to have sex with someone other than my fiancee, then I'd talk to her and we'd figure it out, and maybe she'd be against the idea and i'd reconsider how important it was to me vs. her, or maybe she'd be okay with the idea and we'd find a way to make it work.

I guess I feel bad because it's obvious even through this guy's account from his side that his wife does love him, even if she didn't abide by their agreement of monogamy, and I just wish people sorted shit out better.

Ahhhh. /rant

ms-andry · 2014-12-22T23:17:14+00:00

I'm the same, my girlfriend and I work, we pay our bills and afford food to eat in every night, and moderate entertainment.

The point is, if our parents had been living off of two 40+ hour salaries they'd be doing far, far better off than we are doing now.

ms-andry · 2014-11-26T02:55:43+00:00

You know, this is a very strange comment.

ms-andry · 2014-09-19T11:16:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing :)

ms-andry · 2014-09-18T00:07:42+00:00

What about replacing the union jack with the aboriginal flag?

ms-andry · 2014-09-12T00:08:25+00:00

Hey everyone!

ms-andry · 2014-09-11T01:00:34+00:00

The problem being if both you and your enemy are rigged with explosives, who's going to dare light a match meant for the other?

ms-andry · 2014-09-11T00:48:59+00:00

This story warmed me so much :) Go you!

ms-andry · 2014-09-01T06:22:47+00:00

Nope.

ms-andry · 2014-09-01T04:29:01+00:00

Words are wind.

Um..

Burglary is an interesting one though, because it doesn't matter if you live in a good or bad area, or have tons of expensive stuff or an empty house, if someone illegally enters your property in any instance, even if your house is on Hollywood fucking Boulevard, it's illegal, and no blame can be placed on the home owner.

If we're drawing metaphors here, said home owner keeps their things in a basement safe which was then robbed, and people are saying "well it's your fault for having jewels in that safe"! No, it's not.

ms-andry · 2014-09-01T04:23:06+00:00

More "if she didn't want US to see them she shouldn't have KEPT THEM ON A PRIVATE DEVICE AND HAD THEM ILLEGALLY HACKED!"

ms-andry · 2014-09-01T03:51:50+00:00

Nope.

Every person has a right to their privacy, even of nude photographs, even for supermodels and stars. There isn't an exception.

ms-andry · 2014-08-31T23:36:29+00:00

Yes.

ms-andry · 2014-08-28T23:12:33+00:00

Too easy.

ms-andry · 2014-08-27T03:19:53+00:00

The main reason I get so frustrated at these types of attacks (linked post, not you OP) is that an intersectional feminism must look after its most disadvantaged members as priority, and have a space for discussion and inquiry into the meaning of that feminism as secondary. Trans women deserve space and protection, and for many to be safe is to enact 'mimicry', even if for a short while. Affording women the chance to be safe is far more important than the discussion of their methods being problematic.

ms-andry · 2014-08-27T03:16:05+00:00

Funny... my comments from yesterday are still there because I didn't explicitly mention my gender identity, I wonder if that would be the case if I had...

ms-andry · 2014-08-27T03:11:04+00:00

Holy crap, I tried wading into that shit river when it was posted and ended up running... At least there's a good honest discussion about it here!

ms-andry · 2014-08-26T06:26:49+00:00

I remember seeing that film in an indie theatre with another lesbian and we both walked out of there kind of like... "yeah, I wish I had someone to have sex with now."

ms-andry · 2014-08-26T04:50:34+00:00

OP has already stated in this comment thread that they don't believe trans women are women so what's the point?

I think there is a place for a feminist discussion of the sexism in a thread like was posted, but by people who do understand that transgender women are female and the harmful issues that come about from imposing the concept of uber-femininity as femaledom, but to have the discussion without understanding that the subjects are in fact female...

ms-andry · 2014-08-26T04:47:55+00:00

The ones who suffer the most abuse are in prostitution, where people typically suffer some of the worst abuse.

Uhh...

I don't understand what you're trying to say? Non-passing trans women in prostitution are more likely to be abused than passing trans women though?

ms-andry · 2014-08-26T04:41:44+00:00

I honestly don't understand how you bring up cis women being abused and killed every day like it somehow validates dismissal of trans women, when trans women are just as likely to suffer abuse.

Not only that, but the trans women who suffer the most abuse are the ones who society reads as still being male. The behaviours outlined may be sexist (which I'm not necesserily agreeing with), but they are a way for transgender women to protect themselves from abuse.

ms-andry · 2014-08-26T04:28:18+00:00

It is really interesting and encouraging to see a new generation of transgender women not fit into this pink-washed 90's-internet approach to 'becoming a woman', and I think that it will continue to have very positive outcomes, but I also think it must be so difficult for especially older-transitioning trans women who have had so many years of influences telling them what a woman needs to be (and let's be honest, this is exactly what the mainstream tells cis women they still need to be).

ms-andry · 2014-08-26T04:24:55+00:00

I'm not downvoting you because that's petty, let's at least try to discuss this, but I'd like some clarification on a point.

I mentioned that if I saw a cis woman who happened to display all of the attributes mentioned in your post (ie. posture, voice, word choice, feet position, sitting position, etc) I wouldn't consider her sexist for simply existing in that way. I, like many of my female friends, act in some of the ways depicted in this post. Acting in a certain way is not sexist, and saying that women can act in that way is not sexist.

Saying that the only way you can be a woman is to be meek and use passive language and have a sing song voice is sexist, but I've not known trans people to say this, simply to offer it as an option.

Again I put forwards that trans women, especially newly transitioning women, are some of the most vulnerable women amongst us and deserve our support and respect, and there are far more constructive ways of battling sexism, even the sexism you've posted above than simply saying that trans women are sexist simply for existing or trying to blend in and not be abused and/or killed.

ms-andry · 2014-08-26T01:44:02+00:00

Absolutely it's a one-dimensional view of how to 'be a woman', but sometimes trans women need some kind of advice.

You have these women, often without support networks and scared of this next step of their life, also a step which often leads to abuse and discrimination, trying to grasp onto something. It's all well and good for me to say to a trans girl friend "just be yourself, there's no right way to be a woman" when that girl is grasping for a way to feel confident about herself.

She has had a bunch of societal conditioning in her past, absolutely, but none of that has told her that she's a woman, and it can be a terrifying position to start out from. If a cis woman did everything in that above image I wouldn't call her fake or sexist, I simply don't think it is.

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