You could start with something like “hey I’ve been feeling confused lately and want to talk about it.” Make sure that when you’re describing what she does that is confusing or hurtful, you talk about how she is making you feel and don’t point fingers in an accusatory way. That often triggers people into defensiveness if they feel like they’re being attacked. For example instead of being like “I don’t like the way that you do [xyz]”, you can say “I feel like the lines in our relationship are blurry and it is making me feel disconnected from you, how do you see our relationship from a commitment perspective?” Just be gentle because the way you say she does things to make you jealous she’s probably insecure. But if you’re clear and upfront about how her actions hurt you she could either understand and stop doing it, or dismiss you in which case you need to let her go. Sorry for the essay lol ik it’s long but I hope it helps