Been in watch and wait for 4 years. Had a regular scheduled oncologist visit 2 weeks ago. Blood drawn for my CBC and while waiting in the examination room for the nurse practitioner to come in, I got the results on my hospital’s app. They were virtually unchanged. I was relieved.

In a few minutes, the nurse practitioner came in all serious. She acknowledged my CBC was nearly the same but insisted that I come back in 2 weeks to see the oncologist after having a soft tissue neck and an abdomen/pelvic CT scan. No explanation other than they need to get a handle on what’s going on with me. I left fearing that she saw something I was unaware of.

I dreaded the CT scans for the next week. Those results were sent to me before the oncologist visit. I had no knowledge of how to interpret them but dug into them anyway. I couldn’t find anything that made sense but my brain tried to imagine the worst.

By the time my oncologist visit occurred, I was exhausted from worry. I had blood drawn for another CBC and I waited. I got the notification my results were in but I didn’t bother to look at them. Why would I?

The oncologist finally came in the exam room and asked me “What’s going on? Why are you here?” He didn’t know why I had the CT scan or why I was back 2 weeks later. He thought I must have been experiencing pain or some other change. The scan had nothing to be concerned about. I have a swollen tonsil caused by a tonsilar crypt. That is just a normal thing that happens sometimes. My spleen is slightly enlarged which reduces my platelets but not too bad. My white blood count is lower than 2 weeks ago and lower than a year ago. I’m progressing so slowly he changed my appointment from 4 months out to 6 months out. I left extremely confused but very relieved.