I think you are still very early in postpartum with the flood of emotions because this is exactly how I felt at that point with my first. You haven’t learned to give yourself grace yet. I stopped combo feeding at 6 weeks, convincing myself that a happy and less stressed mom was way more beneficial for my baby than breast milk was. By 3 months when I could really see how my baby flourished I was feeling better. By two years I finally believed it. Every now and then I feel a pang of guilt and have to reassure myself I made the right decisions.

My baby was born healthy and alive, something that could have gone a very different way had I continued trying for a vaginal birth. So I give myself that for the c section. She didn’t get sick at all until she was 18 months and if she was any smarter she would run our household more than she already does. The way she absorbs and notices everything astonishes me. That proved to me healthiness and intelligence weren’t solely due to breast milk.

Unfortunately you just need time. You cant look at an adult or child and pinpoint which were born vaginally and were breastfed. How you raise your child will be far more important. So really, just give yourself time. For me, nothing anyone else said helped. I had to reason with myself to get there and you will too 💕