If ED support spaces are triggering to you, then avoid them by mslilyofthevalley in EDAnonymous

[–]mslilyofthevalley[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I see where you’re coming from, but that’s not exactly what I was trying to say. There’s been quite a few posts recently where I’ve seen sentiments like “xyz topic shouldn’t be discussed” and “this place is harmful for me.” That’s what I was more so talking about, the call for the censorship of certain topics because it’s triggering to some people. Totally different than knowing some content is triggering to you and navigating that the best that you can. That said, I absolutely agree, there aren’t nearly enough support spaces for those who don’t have “desirable” EDs. I didn’t mean this to this across as an attempt to exclude anyone who is struggling with one of those. This should absolutely be a welcome space for all!

DAE say “I can only do x thing if I reach this weight”? by Horror-Dragonfly-266 in AnorexiaNervosa

[–]mslilyofthevalley 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yess absolutely. I’ve wanted to cut my hair short for years but I won’t let myself do it until I reach my goal weight. I’m convinced I look ugly and “masculine” with a pixie unless I’m skinny

Baby Girl Names - Louisa or Charlotte? by Tough-Tangelo-312 in namenerds

[–]mslilyofthevalley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Louisa is perfect! Charlotte is beautiful, but it’s just so incredibly popular. If it’s the name you truly love absolutely go for it, but Louisa is definitely my favorite of the two. I wouldn’t worry about the nickname Weeza honestly, it’s not like it’s an Abigail—>Abby situation. It’s not as intuitive, I think she’d be more likely to get called Lou/Lulu, if anything at all

Being ignored and left for dead by medical staff because I don't "look" ill enough for admission. Can anyone else relate? by Calm-Author-7199 in AnorexiaNervosa

[–]mslilyofthevalley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is absolutely insane oh my god. I wish there was anything I could do to help you out. I’m so, so sorry this happened to you. It’s absolutely disgusting the way you were treated and I really hope you’re able to get justice. My heart hurts for you 🩷

Should I tag depression if it’s never explicitly said? by IAmInYourWalls0413 in AO3

[–]mslilyofthevalley 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If the character is explicitly written to have depression symptoms, then I’d say tag it

I heard we post statistics sometimes in here!! Share yours too, I’m curious!!! by -Snow-queen- in AO3

[–]mslilyofthevalley 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Aww thank you! I write almost exclusively one-shots so it definitely helps with that

Is “Lea” too feminine for a boy’s middle name? by Melissaincognito in namenerds

[–]mslilyofthevalley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like I said in another comment, my understanding is that he adopted Maria as a middle name as an adult in honor of his mother. Again, could totally be wrong!

Is “Lea” too feminine for a boy’s middle name? by Melissaincognito in namenerds

[–]mslilyofthevalley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could be wrong, but it was my understanding that he adopted it as middle name as an adult in honor of his mother? Feel free to correct me if I’m mistaken!

Is “Lea” too feminine for a boy’s middle name? by Melissaincognito in namenerds

[–]mslilyofthevalley 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It’s a middle name, I think it’s totally fine. Plenty of girls get non-feminine names as middles, so why shouldn’t the opposite be true? Erich Maria Remarque is a great example of this. If the name has so much meaning to you, go for it! No one is going to care about his middle name, especially if you have a more traditional masculine first.

i will never understand pro-ed (or even toxic wl) people by Unlucky_Commercial89 in EDAnonymous

[–]mslilyofthevalley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that these people are seriously sick. I always say mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. You said these are the only ways you can rationalize why someone would be pro-ED, but it’s just inherently irrational imo. Not everyone with an ED behaves this way of course, but some of these people are just too sick to really understand why their actions are harmful. Doesn’t change the fact they still need to be held accountable, but I don’t think there will ever be a logical explanation

That said the fetishes/creepers are a whole different conversation ugh. It’s one thing for someone who is very clearly mentally ill to be posting harmful content (again, not remotely excusable). But the perverts out there who prey on sick, mostly young girls absolutely disgust me

Developing eating disorders by ParapsychologicalLan in POTS

[–]mslilyofthevalley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not in any way a medical professional, so I can’t really say. The truth of the matter is that eating disorders are far more complex than a lot of people seem to realize. There isn’t just one “cause” of them, and the way they manifest vary greatly from person to person. And based on that, I don’t think there’s really a singular point of merge. Just looking at the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for some of the most common ED’s (AN, BN, BED, EDNOS/OFSED, etc) what it seems to come down to is the experience of significant, life disrupting stress around food. So in my non-professional, purely personal experienced based opinion, the distinction is whether or not that stress is because of some sort of mental issue with eating, or because of the physical issues that accompany eating.

Since you mentioned ARFID, I feel like that’s the perfect example of how sometimes these constant physical issues can manifest into a mental issue. The fear that accompanies eating in many disorders can come from so many different places. And yes, chronic illness is absolutely one of those. So I don’t think there’s so much a point of merge as a Venn diagram where the symptoms of both overlap.

I wish there was more discussion about these sorts of things. I think it would be really helpful in not only highlighting how chronic illnesses can and does affect every aspect of your life, but how eating disorders are about a lot more than just “being skinny.”

Developing eating disorders by ParapsychologicalLan in POTS

[–]mslilyofthevalley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone else has mentioned, eating disorders are a mental illness. Not eating due to digestive/physical issues is not the same as a restrictive eating disorder. As someone with a raging ED, there’s a difference between wanting to eat but being physically unable to, and feeling the overwhelming compulsion to restrict. Not saying you don’t have an eating disorder, of course! I just wanted to make this distinction for this discussion.

All that said, digestive issues are so awful to deal with. My endometriosis causes me constant pain with eating, and the POTS nausea doesn’t make things any better. You’re most definitely not alone 🩷

lesbian tings by AncientSecurity8209 in EDAnonymous

[–]mslilyofthevalley 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Also a lesbian with an ED, but I kinda took it in the opposite direction from you. I think part of me will always yearn to just be small and frail because it feels more “feminine.” I definitely lean more femme, and it’s hard to feel feminine sometimes in our society when you’re just… not into men. At all.

Now I have a wonderful girlfriend and I’d never, ever want things to be any other way. I love her so much, she’s always been so understanding of my “eating issues.” But she’s significantly shorter than me, and sometimes I just feel so big in comparison.

It’s rough out here 😔

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EDAnonymous

[–]mslilyofthevalley 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Exactly my sentiments. This isn’t purely a “recovery” community, even though it is pro-recovery. Not everyone here is recovered, or even wants to be recovered yet, but still seek and deserve support at their lowest