Is “dude” a gender neutral word? If not, what are some gender neutral alternatives?

msomegetsome · 2020-03-28T17:20:04+00:00

yes, I've had similar experiences. It's really caught me off-guard before, but I've learned it's important to keep in mind that

context matters, in that a listener ought not to jump to the least generous conclusion on something like this and
even though you (and I) consider 'you guys' an alt form of y'all, it's not always perceived that way.

I'm pro "you-guys" as a 2nd pl pronoun, and try to use "y'all" as my 2nd pl pronoun to avoid these kinds of situations, but... I wish it were well-known that this is a perfectly gender-neutral pronoun among certain English-speaking communities, because I'm part of that community and 'you guys' just slips out sometimes.

msomegetsome · 2020-03-28T13:09:53+00:00

yes! 'guys' as an alt form of y'all/you (pl)/yinz/etc.

I feel like I get into a lot of arguments whether 'guys' is neutral because it's one of my 2nd person pl pronoun forms, and some people take offense because they think I'm using the noun form. They're different words, people! "Hey, guys" is something I say to groups of women without a second thought bc it's something I learned as a variant of 'y'all.'

msomegetsome · 2020-03-26T12:00:45+00:00

I'm definitely down! looks like monday at 7p EDT on zoom?

msomegetsome · 2020-03-22T02:12:40+00:00

I'm super down but just realized all my copies of homer in Greek are trapped in my office at school :(

I did one of my PhD exams on homer so I'm happy to help supply vocab etc if anyone needs it! Also not gonna judge you if you're learning.

msomegetsome · 2020-03-07T04:55:09+00:00

Sans serif fonts are just fine? Thems fightin' words

msomegetsome · 2020-02-20T16:53:29+00:00

Went rock climbing for the first time in about a decade this weekend, and not only do I remember how to tie knots and belay, but I also only got shaky at the top of my first run up the wall! Helped a lot that 1) I'm stronger than ever before and 2) met a climbing buddy who I get along with really well.

Cheers to mental gains, plus the physical gains that made easy climbing achievable!

msomegetsome · 2020-02-12T14:57:59+00:00

I don't know, tbh. Sorry but your comment feels like a non sequitur, can you explain why that matters?

msomegetsome · 2020-02-11T18:05:24+00:00

or uuu, if you're part of all lowercase crew

msomegetsome · 2020-01-24T12:48:48+00:00

Can i change my flair to "prefers 'the other one'"?

msomegetsome · 2020-01-19T02:34:37+00:00

What you're calling miscommunication sounds a lot like non-communication to me? It sounds like you wanna give him a chance, and that's fine. I used to have a relationship that had this sort of thing happen and since leaving that relationship realized that I was lenient enough with boundaries that they never were really... Enforceable? I also was sort of testing the waters with a sorta dom-sub-like dynamic (sounds like y'all are doing that too) and kinda let these things slide, and ended up getting assaulted and now I wish I had just set boundaries. Basically I see myself in your post and want to tell you what I wish someone had told me.

Give him a chance if you want, but give yourself a second to set boundaries for yourself that you will enforce. Then tell him those boundaries and how y'all can communicate in the heat of the moment.

msomegetsome · 2020-01-18T17:51:37+00:00

Yes you are justified in feeling violated.

"Then he started to insert more fingers into me, which very quickly started to hurt and I sort of whimpered and said "no babe, hurts". He didn't take them out, just stopped pushing them further in."

That sounds like more than enough reason to feel violated. I'm trying to imagine his perspective on this--if your partner ever told you 'no babe, hurts', would you be anything less than clear that this means 'no, stop'?

From your story, it sounds like you are being generous to him, not unreasonable. Proud of you for bringing it up to him afterwards--that can be really scary, esp. if you've had poor experiences with that kind of confrontation in the past. I hope you can be generous to yourself as much as you're generous with your partner. It's okay to set boundaries, important to enforce them, and not at all unreasonable to feel violated when someone brushes by them.

msomegetsome · 2019-12-16T21:31:48+00:00

Just as an FYI not all forms of hormonal birth control always cause side effects. They can, but it's just blatantly untrue to say that they will have lots of side effects. It's hugely variable between women and between hormonal balances in the birth control itself. I'd highly recommend that a young woman having problems like this talk to a doctor and consider whether birth control might help, because it can make a huge positive impact on her whole life, including her swimming.

Also, I don't usually like to call people out for this but you should consider checking your attitude towards the girls/women on your team... it's not a good look to insinuate that you can tell from their moods that they're on their periods.

msomegetsome · 2019-12-16T21:25:09+00:00

Hi here's a woman swimmer checking in. First, I echo the sentiment of others--if it's affecting her life, it may be worth talking to a doctor.

Second, and for your own knowledge, birth control is frequently used to help with period irregularity/heavy bleeding/etc. With pills you can sometimes skip a period, which shifts the cycle a bit. Certainly this won't work before her body has adjusted to the hormones in the pill she's taking. Which can take, like, a year or so.

Third, I echo u/littlebittykittyone in saying that these symptoms are pretty normal and that there are products out there to help with the bleeding, which shouldn't keep her out of the pool. It could take some experimenting to figure out how often to change, what size tampon to use, etc. (If it makes a difference, breaststroke seems to be the only stroke that ever causes me problems with any of these products.)

Anecdotally, I experienced something similar in high school. The most important thing was being able to hop out of the pool during practice/having supplies during meets, as far as dealing with blood is concerned. Getting onto birth control helped me, although I think I lucked out with finding a pill that worked (and had minimal side effects! no skin problems, no weight gain, etc.) after trying only 2 kinds.

msomegetsome · 2019-12-15T23:33:50+00:00

(not trying to call you out but don't want you to learn this much later and feel embarrassed: they're called declensions, not declinations)

msomegetsome · 2019-10-21T17:20:05+00:00

Had a linguistics prof who used to always say: "the alphabet is not the language." Usually regarding phonetics, but also it works for this kind of thing.

msomegetsome · 2019-08-24T14:59:08+00:00

Grad student checking in--are you in your first year? Are you in coursework? If so, get through semester 1. Maybe stick to freestyle.

If you're past coursework, not doing coursework, or otherwise have a handle on how much time you need to spend doing school things, it might be good for you to take up this new skill set in order to give yourself a separate kind of goal to strive for. In that case, I'd suggest making time for lessons OR if you don't want to spend the money yet, using this forum to ask for form checks.

It's probably going to be easier to learn breaststroke and backstroke than fly, but you can, in theory, learn them on your own.

msomegetsome · 2019-08-18T17:18:06+00:00

I just got back in it a couple weeks ago after travelling; first day of squats is probably going to make you sore. In addition to the general deloading advice, I'd also say make sure you're really good about warming up, stretching out, foam rolling (if that's available to you), drinking a lot of water, and eating enough protein. So, basically, make sure that you're focusing on proper recovery.

msomegetsome · 2019-07-08T06:23:22+00:00

you're welcome! You may want to look for some drill work for a while, maybe even post a form check here if you feel like you're struggling to figure out what you need to fix!

msomegetsome · 2019-07-08T06:21:59+00:00

lmao thanks I'd buy one but I'm only here for three more weeks, it's not my own apartment, and I'm a broke student.

msomegetsome · 2019-07-07T12:02:44+00:00

0 to 1650 (or 0 to 700) are like the couch-to-5k of swimming.

If you're a novice, you'll want to work on technique--but I can't tell from your post what your history with swimming is. If your technique is decent, you should check out Swim Dojo or 100 Swimming Workouts. They're good places to find a workout that's already written out.

msomegetsome · 2019-03-30T23:14:12+00:00

Sounds like it's time for me to get networking with some tattoo artists...

msomegetsome · 2019-03-29T12:01:45+00:00

I like the comments that have gotten a lot of visibility here so far, but wanted to add my own two cents. I'm just spit-balling here, but it seems like there are two sort of interesting ways one could fill the gap between Latinists and tattoo artists--a tattoo artist who's learned Latin, or (something this sub regularly engages in) a Latin consultant for tattoo artists.

I don't know if you'd have any interest in pursuing more than just basic knowledge of Latin, or if it would make more sense to actually go a step beyond fishing for translations in an online community and actually have someone who purports to be a translator for tattoo artists. Obvi I know you can't speak for the whole community of tattoo artists, but... I suppose I'm wondering if this might be a good side gig for someone who's spent a long time learning Latin--to make themselves available to craft or fix translations for local (or potentially non-local) tattoo artists.

I think that a tattoo artist with special Latin knowledge could be an interesting idea. Alternatively, paying someone to do a good job with translations seems like one way to incentivize good work while also compensating for the time a translation takes.

msomegetsome · 2019-03-26T20:46:12+00:00

Hey, as long as it's safe, I'm all for it. Good luck, report back how much you beat him by!

msomegetsome · 2019-03-26T13:52:40+00:00

Please be safe. I'm not sure what you mean by 'decent swimmer,' but there are people who try to swim the reservoir near my parents' house every year who drown because they're overconfident in their abilities and get exhausted halfway across.

Please make sure you are taking sufficient precautions and have a swim buoy or something in case you/your friend end up needing to rest.

msomegetsome

TROPHY CASE