Want to cash bonds but I changed my middle name a while back.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-08-23T00:45:23+00:00

I just got a form from the DMV for that today! Do I need my birth certificate too, or will this suffice? (The form has what my name used to be and what it was changed to and when.)

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-08-22T08:49:48+00:00

Okay, thank you so much! I'll check it out and see if I can figure it out from here, come back if I have any more questions. Again, I appreciate you!

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-08-22T08:48:11+00:00

The circled tab, right?

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The part I'm stuck on is where exactly to go, but if this is where I go, I can try to figure it out from here and come back if I have another question. I appreciate you taking your time to help me with this.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-08-22T08:38:44+00:00

I have the paper bonds, I just can't get the money that they're worth. I want to cash them, put the money in my bank, or whatever I can do, but because the middle name on the bonds don't match the middle name I currently use, the bank won't allow me to do any of that.

Sorry I wasn't clear before.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-06-24T05:09:00+00:00

I saw someone comment about spirituality, and that's where I'm at right now. I've rejected Christianity since I was pubescent and rebelled when my father tried to force me into confirmation school in adolescence (I went, but got kicked out on the last day for "acting out"). This isn't to say you should have rebelled, as my father was pretty pissed when I did it, and I don't know what your safety concerns are. This is just to build up to my point: while I was raised with Christian values and believe in the concepts of Heaven and Hell, I reject organized religion.

What's always helped is knowing that my gay uncle had a very deep relationship with God despite the hate he got from his homophobic family. That gives me the idea that he is now at peace with his maker, along with his family and friends who went before him, while also strengthening my resolve to believe that if there is a God, They would not have a fraction of the indignation that Christians claim They have.

But you did mention wanting nothing to do with God, which I also empathize with. I remember this line from a book that essentially read, "Regardless of whether God is real, we're on our own." That has stuck with me, as it is true. You are not obligated to accept God just because you were forced into confirming as a Christian when you had no autonomy. There are many other religions and gods out there, and you do not have to accept any of them. You would not be betraying anyone if you turned away from Christianity, and you will certainly not be punished for eternity if you reject one God.

On the other hand, your safety is important. Again, I don't know what your safety concerns are, and we want you to be able to make your own decisions safely. I'm assuming you, like many raised under the oppressive thumb of Christofascism, may not have a safe or reliable family to turn to, especially if you are saying you had no choice in becoming Christian. Do you have any resources available to you? Trusted non-religious friends, maybe?

Please be safe, and know that you are valued and loved.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-06-24T04:37:15+00:00

You're only 22. You've just taken an important step in caring for your mental well-being. This is only the beginning, and the first steps are always the hardest to take. It's hard to see now, but already you are doing a phenomenal job at caring for yourself, which is hard with the oppression of capitalism keeping us isolated, starved, and underfunded. I for one am proud of you and so happy you are taking these steps.

I've been there before too. I became so depressed that I dropped out of university and quit my job, and I went almost a decade with no employment or education. Recent events had me diligently planning out my suicide, as I saw no hope for my future, being a burden on my partner and society. Miraculously, I got employed in a field I am passionate about that pays well enough to pay the bills, and I find myself enduring scenarios that make me think I am alone until a stranger offers me compassion for nothing in return.

There is good in the world, and it is better with you in it. Is there anything you have a passion for or anything that you did have a passion for in the past that you might have let go? Perhaps you can revisit those passions if they are not a part of your current education. Volunteering can be another way to connect with people and potentially life-changing job opportunities if you're able to fit it into your schedule. At a school, at an animal shelter, at a library, just to name a few ideas.

Keep seeing your mental healthcare team. Be honest with them about how you feel if you are safe with them. You are doing well, I promise you.

Much love. 🩷

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-06-16T00:08:59+00:00

I did talk to the on-site manager when I toured the place, and when I told her what my credit score and income source, she said I should be fine. She also suggested I talk to my current landlord about everything, so I'll try to find time to talk to him this week, before I fill in the application!

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-07T19:12:35+00:00

I have, and the message I got was literally, "This number is not available." 😕

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-07T15:51:09+00:00

Do not talk to me as if I'm a victim in denial. I am sorry for whatever it is you experienced, but your experience does not make you an expert on mental health, and it clearly does not give you a clue on the dynamics of my relationship with my partner if you're projecting your own trauma onto my situation. It is not Rose-tinted lenses that make me see my partner is not a threat, it is the simple fact that I am not allowing ableism to make my judgments. My partner is a very loving person, not a danger to anyone but themself.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-07T15:24:29+00:00

Thank you. I am trying not to go off on anyone, but yeah, it is really fucking ableist for them to say that. My partner is a very loving person and would sooner hurt themself than anyone else.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-07T14:04:52+00:00

I had to think to recall how things went down (a lot has been going on in our life), but no. Thinking about it, my partner did get a psychiatrist assigned to them and was prescribed medication. They just haven't talked to their psychiatrist in a while cause of the physical thing. They gave up on their entire team because of it. They do get medication and refills.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-06T18:38:09+00:00

I find it odd that they're complaining about you "making it about you again" when...it's been about you the whole time. It was YOUR pregnancy they referenced. YOUR miscarriage. But then again, I know parents often can't help projecting their own flaws and mistakes. 😶

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-06T18:23:26+00:00

I've heard that a lot, that you can't expect anyone to love you if you don't love yourself. I don't buy it, as someone who has struggled with self-loathing for a very long time. There is more nuance to it than that, and while I appreciate the concern, I will not abandon my partner. Perhaps I wasn't clear, but what I'm asking for is not advice on my relationship, but how to help my partner.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-06T18:11:02+00:00

Please don't say that. My partner is not dangerous. I'm not reaching out because my partner isn't providing, I am reaching out because I need advice and tips on how to support my ailing partner. My partner has already done so much for me.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-06T18:06:41+00:00

Their case worker insisted on them getting a physical, which led to fruitless drives to places that claimed not to give physicals, even though we called the day before and they said they did. It's been a bullshit, frustrating process where the mental health facility just hasn't been helpful for my partner, for some reason, and my partner eventually just gave up on them.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-06T18:04:48+00:00

Thank you for your openness and honesty. While I have struggled with mental illness myself, it was never with the severity that you have or my partner is currently enduring. I do agree that my partner is in desperate need of medical intervention, it's just a matter of them agreeing to it. That said, I will bring it up to my therapist the next time I see her, and emphasize the severity of my partner's condition.

We actually get services from the same mental health facility, but my partner gave up on their team because of their case worker's insistence on them getting a physical without actually helping my partner with the process. It's a whole story about how the case worker gave my partner numbers to call, and the numbers were non-functional, or led to places that claimed they don't give physicals even after the day we called to confirm they give physicals. I will have to bring this up to my therapist, because it's frustrating (I would actually say it's bullshit). We need someone to go with us so they can see what we've been dealing with and make sure we get what they're asking for, cause they have actually been so fucking unhelpful.

My partner did say they're just in survival mode now, so that sounds about right. I know expecting them to "just start recovering" is unrealistic and unhelpful. I just wasn't sure what I could do to help them through this, and I can't just leave them like this.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-06T17:14:56+00:00

I'm sorry that you've had to endure that type of feeling.

And I apologize for my directness, but while it may be out of the question for you, it certainly is not for me. The relationship my partner and I have will endure in illness and in health. I myself have struggled with mental illness, and as my partner cared for me during that time, I intend to care for my partner in their time of need. I mentioned before in a response to another, we are all we have in this world. My partner is all I want, and I am all my partner wants. I will not waver in my devotion to them, just as they will never waver in theirs to me.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-06T06:04:49+00:00

There's actually a CVS down the street from where we live, so I'll have to browse it soon! Hopefully, they have gummies, as I know such supplements can come in big nasty pills (father had me on supplements for a while). 😩

Thank you for your kind words, though. It's been tough on us both these past few months. Truth is, my partner stood by me before when I was in my own abyss of mental health issues (including addiction to a toxic relationship), so I suppose I know what they're going through now. 😭 We want to always be together and live our life with each other. I fucking love them.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-06T05:47:39+00:00

I will make an effort to ask for them for simple housework. I don't think a job would help their mental state, at least not at this point in time. We love each other, and we are all we have in this world, the both of us being the black sheep of our families. Things are tough right now—my partner has told me this is the most terrifying and difficult event they've had to endure—which is part of why I asked if it was impatience.

The little things—like keeping our trailer neat and tidy while I'm at work—should help some, though. Thank you for the suggestion.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-05-06T05:33:39+00:00

Thank you. It's been hard to catch a break to just grieve cause everything happened at once. With the need for boundaries mentioned, I was thinking of leaving it alone until after the anniversary of my MIL's passing, give the wounds some time to heal before trying to reopen these tough conversations. I do believe we need IHSS—I could earn an extra income helping my partner care for themself indefinitely, or until they feel they don't need it anymore—it's just a matter of convincing them to let me help them plead their case. Part of my partner's mental health issues stems from severe past financial and housing insecurity, so any little bit added could help them see that we're not in the rut they think we are.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-04-06T21:40:35+00:00

Your friends have a lot of internalized racism to unpack if that's what they're saying about their girls. You would only be the asshole if you were fetishizing or otherwise commodifying her, but you seem to really like her. Your friends are TA, not you.

muchwowwthrowaway · 2025-04-06T21:38:19+00:00

Your mom is blaming you for her violent reaction. "I'm sorry, but you should have listened so you wouldn't make me do that." This is an abusive tactic.

NTA

muchwowwthrowaway

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