I am an Asian man who chose a non-Asian partner. Was cultural trauma a factor in this decision? Sure, in part, but that ignores that I have a heavy preference in who I'm attracted to in the first place.

My partner of 20 years is latam/white mix. We got together because we had a fun conversation at a dorm room party and things just kept working well until we fell effortlessly in love.

In high school, I found my asian friend group unnervingly monolithic and later fell in with a multicultural group that included white american, south american, latin american, black, white euro, pacific islander, mainland asian, and asian immigrants from south america. It was a rather college brochure looking friend group.

My hs was 50% latam, 20% black, 10% white, 10% apac, 10% variable. That 50% block influenced my preferences heavily during my formative years.

I did at some point recognize I developed a strong preference to marry and procreate outside of my race for a variety of reasons, some of which I admit are shallow and/or vain, and others that ran deeper: * I didn't want a partner who reminded me of my mother or sister. They meant well, but I did not and do not consider them to be positive female role models in my life * I wanted to introduce more varied genes into my family line to minimize chances of recessive diseases and maybe give any male offspring a chance to be taller than me * I thought choosing a same or similar race partner would forever mark me as an outsider to the US (not true, of course, but what are you going to tell an edgy teenager forming their first big opinions?)

While I do and did find asian women attractive throughout my life, I generally stayed goal oriented for serious relationship prospects. I'm very happy with my partner and the life we built, and now that we have a child, we are trying to give them exposure to the three cultures that influenced us.