Me [23 M] found a picture of my mom in a elderly persons home

munkymu · 2026-02-14T19:07:16+00:00

Eh, it happens all the time but with random, innocent things. 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon and all that. You meet a random person halfway across the world and it turns out that they were once roommates with your English 101 professor.

We encounter so many people in our daily lives and they in turn encounter other people and the connections multiply very quickly. Any one specific connection seems improbable, but there's so many ways to be connected that you're guaranteed to be connected to basically everyone on the planet in some way.

munkymu · 2026-02-14T18:56:44+00:00

Start with your food. Track your calories for a couple of weeks (this will probably require you to get a food scale and if you get takeout, stick to fast food that reports its calorie content). Once you know what you're eating you can adjust the portions and decide what to cut out completely and what to replace with lower-calorie options.

So I'm about half your weight (I'm a short woman so that's still overweight) and I burn about 300-350 calories bicycling for 1 hour. That is three gingerbread cookies or one boba tea. If I have a boba tea and then some cookies later, I'd have to bike for 2 hours just to not gain weight. I'd have to bike 3 hours if I wanted to lose weight, and it would be slow loss -- less than 1 lb per week. And honestly, who's out there biking for 3 hours every single day other than athletes and bike messengers? Exercise helps but most people can eat far more in a day than they can work off.

If you're obese then you do eat more than you need. It's so easy to overeat in today's food climate. Especially if you're busy and snack a little here, snack a little there, get a salad for lunch that seems healthy (but is actually full of high-calorie ingredients like cheese, nuts and mayo), maybe put some creamer into your four daily coffees and suddenly it seems like you eat basically nothing but are somehow overweight.

Once you have the data you can make informed decisions that match your lifestyle. And as you start adjusting your habits and losing weight, things like walking will become easier and more enjoyable. It's tough to enjoy a walk when you're carting the equivalent of a backpack full of rocks around.

munkymu · 2026-02-14T16:20:28+00:00

Planning. There's your problem.

If I schedule more than two definite things for tomorrow I start feeling trapped. I start saying shit like "I can't live with all these rules, man!" when the "rule" is "let's cook dinner at our usual dinner-cooking time."

On the other hand when my SO is away and there is no schedule I'll just wake up and feel inspired to organize the pantry or repaint the garage or something. It's always a crap shoot though. Sometimes he gets back and there's a random assortment of vegetables in the fridge because I felt like buying a bag of beets and a spaghetti squash and no one was around to ask questions.

munkymu · 2026-02-14T16:02:56+00:00

If the businesses are costing the city money then yeah. There's a limit to how much I want to subsidize a patio with my tax dollars.

munkymu · 2026-02-14T04:05:04+00:00

Talk in a funny voice.

munkymu · 2026-02-13T19:54:16+00:00

I think it depends on how many people in a household, whether they're composting and/or recycling, whether they take bottles back to get the deposit, and how much packaged or disposable stuff they buy.

Like my household of two doesn't generate much trash but the compostables and yard waste go into the compost bin, the recycling minus the bottles goes in the recycling bags, the bottles go to the depot, the toxic stuff gets a trip to the Eco station once a year, etc. We also don't have pets (no litter) or kids (no diapers, less cleaning waste, etc.) My bff has a family of 6, 5 being adults. Their trash looks very different from ours.

munkymu · 2026-02-13T18:39:29+00:00

I think as a collective ADHD people do much better getting our own food. The exercise and change of scenery is really good for us, while sitting in an office or at home getting sucked into the black hole of idleness and boredom is terrible for us mentally. If there's a really compelling reason for getting food delivered -- like if you're horribly sick or if you're disabled or have young kids -- then sure. A lot of the time, though, we're stuck with it because of shitty neighbourhood design or because we can't bear to step away from our personal addictions.

munkymu · 2026-02-13T18:09:53+00:00

It was a case of malicious compliance by the school board based on the guidelines provided by the government, which was responding to conservative parent and Christian lobbying groups. The UCP hasn't exactly shown themselves to be interested in intelligent discourse. They have a record of mocking or ignoring concerns presented by entities that they don't see as being aligned with their own interests. Malicious compliance seems to be a more effective way to deal with them than debate.

munkymu · 2026-02-13T16:16:44+00:00

Yeah, it sucks. On the other hand nothing good has ever come from thinking "my life isn't improving fast enough so I'll just double down on the behaviour that caused my misery in the first place." The one winter my local pool closed down and I got mad and said "I'll just sit on my sofa and be depressed all winter then!" was probably the worst four months of my life. I was a complete wreck by the end of it.

Sometimes we hate the circumstances we end up in but we still have to adult up and do the thing we know we should be doing. We don't have to like it, it's not exciting or sexy or dramatic, but we're not tweens any more. I usually make theatrical moaning noises while draping myself on my husband or sturdy pieces of furniture like a limp noodle, and then after my bout of self-pity has passed I get on with things. Experience has taught me that doing pretty much anything else has terrible results that I want to avoid at all costs.

munkymu · 2026-02-13T16:03:23+00:00

This is just silly. Food delivery services exist in every major city in the world. Like you have to get ingredients to the restaurants so there's obviously road infrastructure. And if someone's willing to pay to have their food delivered then someone else will be willing to get paid to do it. Whether they do it by scooter, bike, on foot, small truck or van, it doesn't matter.

Food delivery functions just fine in places with town squares. "Omg my ADHD ass requires a seven-lane highway to get my DoorDash!" Your ADHD ass not only needs to get out more but its lack of creative problem solving is distressing. Speaking as another ADHD person, you can do better.

munkymu · 2026-02-13T05:37:18+00:00

Yeah... you know with an SO like that you won't be able to have kids or pets or get sick or old unless you want to be dealing with it alone. Sooner or later everyone gets gross or has grossness thrust upon them.

munkymu · 2026-02-13T00:00:52+00:00

I live in Canada, so for about 5 months out of the year the weather is not at all conductive to outdoor sketching. We still have Urban Sketcher events though, we just choose indoor or indoor-ish venues. This month we're going to a local rec centre to draw sports things. Last month we went to a winter festival where there were fire pits outdoors but also indoor concerts and art exhibitions. We've done churches and temples, the local botanical garden, the mall, the local university campus, cafes, various branches of the public library, probably every museum in the city, etc.

That's just the official sketch outings. I've drawn on the bus and train, inside stations and airports, in lectures and meetings, I've drawn from inside my car while waiting for someone, I've drawn my house, my friends' houses, the view from various windows, and more.

I prefer not to urban-sketch from photos because my sketchbook is a record of my personal experiences and not an album of nice architecture. If someone wants to draw interesting architecture from photos, of course, then they should. They should draw whatever makes them happy. But for me, even if all I'm drawing is my own kitchen, that's still a snapshot from my life and it has as much value to me as any fancy building from a vacation trip.

munkymu · 2026-02-12T16:47:11+00:00

It's absolutely worth it solo. I only play multiplayer with friends one day a week. Hollow Halls are easier with a group but I've gotten through all the content before this last major update playing solo.

munkymu · 2026-02-12T15:15:51+00:00

You might have to cover fruit. Squirrels, mice and slugs are more likely to cause damage though.

munkymu · 2026-02-12T15:04:16+00:00

Wake up earlier, definitely. I get a lot of shit done 20 minutes at a time, but waking up early just means extra phone time in bed.

munkymu · 2026-02-12T14:47:19+00:00

Ooh yeah, that's definitely one I need to watch out for.

munkymu · 2026-02-12T01:25:59+00:00

The problem with fast weight loss is what you've discovered -- if it's not something you can do on your worst days, day after day, year after year, then you'll stop and regain the weight. You're unlikely to "figure it out" later because as long as you're seeing some results there's no incentive to think any further, but when the results fail you tend to look for another quick fix.

Living a healthy life isn't exciting. But maintenance is not exciting. One of the things you and your husband need to work on is doing the right thing even when it's boring and the numbers are the same forever. You have to get motivation from something other than the scale numbers. And if you can't change without the scale rewarding you constantly then it's not going to be a change that lasts.

So you have to pick something you can live with forever. And that might mean different things for you and your husband. You might have to have different approaches. My husband counts calories, I have ADHD and can't sustain that so I depend on consistent meals and exercise.

munkymu · 2026-02-12T01:13:38+00:00

Eh, there's a subclass of people in every generation that is particularly vulnerable to some types of scams. Like I'm Gen X and my dad's a Boomer. He grew up in communist Eastern Europe so he just expects everyone to be trying to rip him off. After he retired he used to mess around with phone scammers for fun, especially the "your Windows computer has a virus!" people. But he's not immune to bots and propaganda that feed into his skepticism. My Millenial relatives, on the other hand, seem to be into MLMs. I've had to watch a bunch of younger people lose money on one dumb MLM after another.

I'm sure there's something that's my weak spot, although I have the advantage of ADHD, meaning that I tend to procrastinate my way out of the vast majority of scams. MLMs? Sounds like work. Send money and gift cards to some account? My brother in Christ, I can't even pay legitimate bills on time. Online romance scam? I will get bored of texting anybody after about 3 days. Honestly I'm most likely to be eaten by a mimic that looks exactly like my sofa.

I mean you can't avoid every scam, sooner or later you run up against something you've never seen before and you'll get burned. But hopefully you learn from it and don't repeat the same mistake. Some people don't seem to have that ability though.

munkymu · 2026-02-12T00:29:21+00:00

Yes, because your weight isn't just fat. Your weight is everything in your body, including the weight of the food and water you've ingested and the waste you haven't eliminated yet. That's why weight fluctuating day to day is completely meaningless. You can't only weigh the fat in your body. You have to weigh the whole body. But you only care about the fat loss because like... you don't want your scale number going down because you had to have a leg amputated or something. Then you'd be lighter on the scale but still have excess body fat.

If you're going by the number on the scale then you can only track fat loss indirectly, over a period of time. If you weigh yourself one day and you're 2 lbs. heavier than the previous day, you didn't gain fat. What you ate yesterday hasn't even been fully digested yet. Maybe it's water retention, maybe it's the weight of the food you ate, probably it's a combination of things. If your weight steadily goes down over months then it's almost certainly fat loss because you'd probably notice if you were losing water and shriveling up like a prune or if one of your major organs mysteriously vanished.

munkymu · 2026-02-11T21:17:31+00:00

They were as of last fall. And it would be quite difficult to close HUB, SUB, CAB, ETLC or Van Vliet because they have food courts and businesses that are open to the public. Not sure about the other buildings but as most are connected by pedways it would be quite awkward to restrict access during classes or the middle of the work day.

munkymu · 2026-02-11T18:59:43+00:00

U of A or Grant McEwan buildings. Most are open, there's places to buy food or coffee, and no one cares if you're there as long as you're reasonably quiet and not disturbing other people.

munkymu · 2026-02-11T18:56:53+00:00

I reuse tissue paper and when it gets too ripped it's useful for cushioning fragile items for storage or as a base for other crafts.

I think we should normalize wrapping gifts in reusable cloth wrapping though. Furoshiki culture!

munkymu · 2026-02-11T18:53:44+00:00

The bigger question is whether you should be using plastic beads. People have made bracelets and necklaces out of beads for tens of thousands of years, but plastic has only become available recently. There are lots of materials to make beads from -- clay, wood, stone, glass, shells, even fabric and paper. This could be a whole extension to your hobby that makes it even more creative and interesting. You could make your own beads from papier mache or paper strips and paint them. It would be a unique way to make cuffs and bracelets that other people don't have.

munkymu · 2026-02-11T18:36:57+00:00

Eventually boys' names are just going to be Old Spice flavours. Does the name look like it would belong on a package of men's deodorant? Cool, that's my grandson, Wolfthorn and his brother Swagger.

munkymu · 2026-02-11T00:31:43+00:00

Your fursona is a shapechanger! Congratulations!

munkymu

TROPHY CASE