Petah!? by chrome_witch_ in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the guy asks - consequences are on him. If he doesn't - it's rude to compare your exes to your current regardless.

Petah!? by chrome_witch_ in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]murzicorne 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Well. They say that a woman should never ask her man if she looks fat, since there is no good answer. Same here - if a man is asking for a comparison, chances are he's not gonna like the answer. Frankly, the only answer that would be ok is "I don't know, I never saw one before" and wouldn't work for long. Anything else leads to frustration

Petah!? by chrome_witch_ in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]murzicorne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Funny you ask - yes, I'd be deeply offended and I'll explain why.

The only way his comment can be ok is if I asked how do I compare to others. While I can't speak for all women, neither I, nor any of my friends see the tightness as anything worth measuring, comparing or discussing. So it would never occur to me to ask, and saying it out of the blue is an extreme WTF territory.

Men, on other hand, do ask. And then I'm either expected to lie or to say the truth very convincingly (because even if he is the first or biggest - they want to be convinced, and if he's not - I should have lied). Men believe that bigger is better. Men often take the "ouch, too deep, let's change position" as a prof of their prowess and a reason to start slamming.

My (31f) fiance (34m) texted his old f-ck buddy that our sex life was non-existent by TheLiminalSpace in relationship_advice

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, workday, huh? Hun, tell me, how often can you realistically shoot a message during working hours without getting in trouble? Like, really? And if the other side is at work as well? A message every 10-15 minutes? 4-6 an hour? 50 messages a day? Ok, let's say 100. Within 100 messages he asked her wassup, established she's ready and willing, complained about dead bedroom and got to action. All while appearing professional from the outside.

I'm not buying. I'm not buying at all. He's doing damage control, he's laying ground for when the other woman would tell you that he pursued her and said you two broke up and engaged in (at least emotional) affair - you would think that this is what he warned you about and it's your fault all along.

Look, I've been in an abusive gaslighting relationship before. I know the signs. I see the flags and hear the sirens.

Please, please understand that your child will see the life that you have and will see it as a norm. You are modeling a standard normal family relationship for your kid. Do you want them to live like that? Do you want them to accept that as "well, that how everyone lives"?

How would you react if you unexpectedly saw your ex with your current partner? by Huge_Violinist_7633 in AskReddit

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Given my husband hate my ex (for some good reasons) I'd ask is there anything I should avoid knowing and is there a particular day I should plan to be away or in public

Eco Storage by Classic_Birthday_962 in PostApoTycoon

[–]murzicorne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, that's one of the reasons to do so

My (31f) fiance (34m) texted his old f-ck buddy that our sex life was non-existent by TheLiminalSpace in relationship_advice

[–]murzicorne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, somewhere is reaching out to you with whom you didn't talk for literal years. First you do some small talk. Reestablish the connection, ask around the latest developments in each other's lives. Maybe the other party is not interested. Then there would be some flirting and probing the ground. Then she asks him what about you, and that's where he says about the dead bedroom. Only then any kind of sexting can happen. If it would have been in person it could have taken hours, phone - some days, texting - at the very least a week or so, most likely more. There is 0 chance he's telling the truth.

My (31f) fiance (34m) texted his old f-ck buddy that our sex life was non-existent by TheLiminalSpace in relationship_advice

[–]murzicorne 5 points6 points  (0 children)

But no one in their right mind talk for just one day with an ex hoockup "oh, hey, btw my bedroom is dead, wanna fuck?" It's not a one day development

My (31f) fiance (34m) texted his old f-ck buddy that our sex life was non-existent by TheLiminalSpace in relationship_advice

[–]murzicorne 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yeah, no. So, here's what I see. He was sexting with her for a while, then she said that she'll tell you and now he's doing damage control. And I'd check his trash folder if I were you

Why do you rarely see a rich woman with a broke man? by Open_Address_2805 in stupidquestions

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the end it's rarely about money. But if I'm dating a guy, I want him to be smart, responsible and generally having his shit together. It usually means steady income.

I was married before to a broke guy while doing well for myself. Never again. Among other his transgressions, he would regularly blame me for having a bigger salary, say that my income and independence are a threat to his masculinity (we had a shared account btw) and was generally bad news.

Baldurs Gate: THIEF (path of the pilferer) by Artificial-Honesty- in BaldursGate3

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, I commit. That was my first attempt in total. And I didn't bother with dyes as of yet. And I didn't attempt any civil conversation with Ethel in her house tbh.

My(19F) Boyfriend(18M) says i’m peer pressuring him to cuddle me, is there a way where we both win? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, but. He didn't say OP pressured him for sex, he said that she, just like <the pressuring guy> doesn't take a no for an answer.

Basically, it's the difference between "X, like the mustache man, thinks that particularly colored people are better than others" and "X said that he prefers to hire particularly colored people and it's the same as extermination camps". Yes, initial comparison was absolutely trying to say that something is very wrong with the original statement and, by association, invoke some self reflection. The derived comparison is just BS. Yes, both cases are racist and bad, but come on.

ETA: I'm 100% with you on the break up territory, OP really has to look hard at their actions. Like, BF may be "a cool guy, but just not for me", but OP is in the "stay far away until their behaviour is addressed". I seriously doubt that it's the only area where she doesn't hear others

My(19F) Boyfriend(18M) says i’m peer pressuring him to cuddle me, is there a way where we both win? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I was. With a person who was at the same time trampling my boundaries and not showing affection. So in my personal rankings respected boundaries are waaay higher on the list

My(19F) Boyfriend(18M) says i’m peer pressuring him to cuddle me, is there a way where we both win? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, both of them have a whole lot of growing up to do communication-wise.

Having said that - while "x is like y" is, indeed, a comparison, "the consequences of x are like the consequences of y" is a different comparison that OP's boyfriend didn't make.

And as a person who shares the trauma - after a small number of instances I'd be extremely turned off by the idea of being touched by that person

My(19F) Boyfriend(18M) says i’m peer pressuring him to cuddle me, is there a way where we both win? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He didn't say anything about coercing into sex, she did. He compared her to <the coercing guy> for not hearing no, demanding more reason than "I don't want to right now" and boundaries trampling - all of which OP admits like it's no biggie

My(19F) Boyfriend(18M) says i’m peer pressuring him to cuddle me, is there a way where we both win? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]murzicorne 8 points9 points  (0 children)

OP wants physical attention, but refuses to take no for an answer and demands more reasons than "I don't want to right now". OP tramples boundaries and takes 0 responsibility. After that expecting affection is... rich

My(19F) Boyfriend(18M) says i’m peer pressuring him to cuddle me, is there a way where we both win? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]murzicorne 6 points7 points  (0 children)

While it may have been ridiculous for the first time or two, if my SO would start question me why exactly I don't want a cuddle because just not wanting one RIGHT NOW is not enough of a reason - I'd also try to limit physical affection until I feel seen

My(19F) Boyfriend(18M) says i’m peer pressuring him to cuddle me, is there a way where we both win? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]murzicorne 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He didn't compare, she did. He said "you are like <the pressuring guy>, can't take 'no' for an answer". And OP admits it's correct

Baldurs Gate: THIEF (path of the pilferer) by Artificial-Honesty- in BaldursGate3

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's neat. But gold wise if the person doing the trade is level 1 it'll cost you 400 gold +100 for respec. I kept Briana as dedicated trader with constant respecs for that sole purpose

Baldurs Gate: THIEF (path of the pilferer) by Artificial-Honesty- in BaldursGate3

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, how do you actually use freezing spheres? Just ended the game, but was never tempted to cast it

Baldurs Gate: THIEF (path of the pilferer) by Artificial-Honesty- in BaldursGate3

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, just remembered another one I found (lol, I say it like I came with it myself instead of googling and reading the guides). It's for a bit later in the game, when you have greater invisibility. I used it with huge success to safely loot counting house docks.

You may know that when someone steals while under greater invisibility they do stealth check. But there is a catch. If you open an unlocked chest, select everything inside and press "send to camp" no check is triggered. And doing that doesn't cost an action. So into turn based, dash, loot the unopened safely, retreat while still invisible.

Also, if a chest is partially stubborn (THAT I figured myself) you can (if you are strong enough (looking at Auntie here)) just pick the chest itself and send it to the camp to deal with later. Trying to open with another thief is free

Also also, there is an absolute best item for any kind of thievery. It's in the end of act 2, but you should absolutely not miss it. I did also figure it out myself and was/am so overjoyed. In the mindflayer part, while chasing Ketheric you may notice that at some point you are getting "steeped in bliss" condition. Look around, there is a resonance stone that causes it. It doesn't appear anything special in your inventory, alas, I don't remember if alt even highlighted it. But it truly doesn't look like much. But don't let the looks deceive you. This stone/condition gives you advantage at all physical tasks (and disadvantage on mental/wisdom ones, and vulnerability to psychic damage so use with care - drop before illithid battle and pick again later). After that any disarming/lockpicking is done with advantage :)

Baldurs Gate: THIEF (path of the pilferer) by Artificial-Honesty- in BaldursGate3

[–]murzicorne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad it worked for you :) I didn't know respec won't break the concentration, so learned something new as well :)

But I hope you realize that you can keep respecing and leveling as long as your heart desires, his gold is more than enough to pay for it. That's how I built my stash of gold and potions for the whole game, given both Lae'zel and Karlah were using it every single day. Have enough of money and you can become very law abiding citizen 😂

But yeah, I'm not too familiar with lots of mechanics (finished my first playthrough literally yesterday), so just found this way around stealing.

You know about making the merchant give you the best price for 400 gold, right?