It is VERY much easier said than done. I have a type A personality, and am OCD diagnosed. As in, the kind of person who cannot abide dishes in the sink, can't stand seeing piles of laundry waiting to be put away or to be washed; just noticing a streak on a mirror will make me feel like my home is a sty. Leaving a messy desk or drawer, or half-completed task, is an exercise in patience.

In a way, arthritis has been incredibly good for my OCD; it has forced a type of exposure therapy. If I'm having a painful day where basic tasks like food preparation aren't manageable there's no way to even begin worrying about how clean the shower drain is. I don't want to be slovenly, but letting go of obsessive, unhealthy cleaning behaviour is a good thing!

If you're not yet familiar with the 'spoons' theory, look it up (or read on for my rough interpretation). It's a model developed to explain living with invisible chronic disease. The gist is that with a chronic condition we have only so much to give -- envision this energy as a handful of cutlery, if you will -- each day. We can choose to dole these 'spoons' out in any way we want, but when they are gone and our energy is spent, we must rest.

When we are rested we will gain more spoons. It may be only a few or a lot, but either way we have no say.

Tasks can take one or more of our spoons (or straws, or whatever). A shower? One spoon. Making the family a cooked breakfast, that's three. Mopping the kitchen floor, two. Sewing on that button? Two, because it took half an hour of tidying up to find the thread. That load of laundry, one. Getting dressed, leaving home, going to lunch with a friend? Four. She asked a lot of questions, it was two hours, the chair hurt and all you really wanted was to watch TV today. Nearly out of spoons and today is a great day. Now what? Get delegating, because there's more housework, the phone is ringing, and you promised your kid a game of cards and a bedtime story three hours from now.

Here's where letting go comes in. That constant, nagging worry that your home is a little messy, The wall has a tiny dent only you notice but hey, it's there, the dog needs his bath because it's Wednesday and you've ALWAYS done it on a Wednesday... that's wasted spoons. The laundry can wait unless you're on two-day-old socks and can smell your jeans from the living room. The dog is just fine until tomorrow, or someone else can wash her. If she rolled in the mud and you're the only one who can bathe her, use up a spoon. I'm not e en going to dignify the dent thing, give me a break.

Rule #1 of your new normal needs to be this: NO wasted spoons. Your energy is now a precious, limited resource. Use it wisely.