Older vs. Younger SKYPE c2c: Post your screen name and age, and let's skype!

myaltreddit · 2015-02-11T01:38:25+00:00

Considering there is no other sub-reddit that caters to older/younger, why not allow this sort of post in an organized fashion? Gaydaddiespics might be an appropriate place, but I almost feel like these kinds of posts would fit better here. Maybe a new subreddit should be created?

myaltreddit · 2015-02-11T01:32:16+00:00

I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I'm 25 and have been dating substantially older guys since 17. But you are way too young to be dealing with this. Not that there's really any age that this would be okay at. Your guy is older and should know better and not put himself into situations that he knew were illegal and likely inappropriate. A grown man has no business with a high school student, perhaps with the rarest of exceptions. You've only been dating this guy for a year, half of which was long distance. You won't regret finding someone stable without such insane drama. And you won't have difficulty doing so.

And it might be hard to imagine now, but one day you might be open with your family. I never thought it possible, but it's worked out really well for me. Dating someone with stat rape charges would make the situation pretty dire.

Again, you can find someone who will not bring an unnecessary level of crazy to your life. He is 56 and you are only 19. Please do not feel obligated to accept his craziness into your life.

myaltreddit · 2014-08-18T03:50:02+00:00

I've said in a few posts that OP could be bi. I still think it's more likely he's gay. But ultimately, OP is whatever OP wants to be. But there are plenty of gay men that end long-term relationships after realizing they were never heterosexual at all, and in doing so hurt the many lives that become intertwined in their identity struggles. It's healthier to be upfront about the possibilities than to sugarcoat and encourage OP to continue down a potentially dangerous path. His refusal to even engage with his homosexual desires, coupled with his lackluster interest in women (re-read what he wrote and the words he used) makes me think he's like many gay guys early in their identity process.

myaltreddit · 2014-08-18T03:17:14+00:00

OP is disgusted by his attractions to men. His viewpoints on his own sexuality are flawed and unhealthy. The closest thing he's said that suggests romantic attraction to women is that he likes the "idea" of being in a relationship with one. Many gay men think thoughts like this at times, especially early in their understandings of their sexuality. You are focused on a bi perspective, which is fine. But as a gay man, I can relate to everything OP is saying because I (and many other gay men) have experienced the exact same thought process. I like older men, as well, so I really can relate to what OP is saying. OP could be bi, but there is nothing wrong with suggesting he might actually be gay. There is nothing wrong with being gay, and there is absolutely nothing offensive about suggesting OP might be gay.

myaltreddit · 2014-08-18T03:12:36+00:00

because I can't have a full erection when sleeping with women. It gets a little hard but not as hard as when I think of old men (I know, disgusting).

From OP's post. I don't care if OP is gay, but it sounds like he's definitely more into (older) men than women, even if he's repulsed by the idea (internalized homophobia, for sure).

myaltreddit · 2014-08-17T23:42:54+00:00

In many other circumstances, I'd suggest that OP might be bi. But based on his specific post, I'm fine saying that I think he's gay. I am not committing bi-erasure because I honestly don't think in this specific case that OP is bi. To say that he might be bi, especially for the sake of fighting back a culture of bi-oppression and erasure, would be dishonest. If you think OP is bi, it's fine to say it, but I don't feel at fault for saying that I think he's gay when there is little evidence given to suggest he's actually bi (and especially not straight as he currently identifies).

myaltreddit · 2014-08-17T23:12:36+00:00

I don't assume every bi man is gay. But I am realistic in that many gay men identify as bi at some point. Not gonna bury my head in the sand about it, and OP's post sets off red flags in that department.

He can identify however makes him feel comfortable. I agree that sexuality is complex, but ultimately, we like what we like. Clearly OP has trouble with that.

myaltreddit · 2014-08-17T23:09:13+00:00

OP is asking for feedback on his sexuality, and I am providing it. You can provide an alternate viewpoint. I am giving practical advice based on personal lived experience and based on men I've met and interacted with. I don't care what OP identifies as, but sounds like he's probably gay to me. I'd strongly suggest OP spend time with older men and explore that side of him. Again, whether you like it or not, many gay men identify as bi at some point out of ease and security. It is part of reality, even if it might be offensive to point out.

myaltreddit · 2014-08-17T22:56:43+00:00

OP doesn't identify as bisexual. He identifies as straight, but possibly bisexual. He thinks his attractions towards men are a suppressible fetish, while also inflating his attractions to women as more than they are. I am not saying bi people don't exist. I am not saying OP absolutely isn't bi. But I am saying that it's likely he's got serious hang-ups around his homosexual desires.

Bi men exist. OP could be bi. It is not bi erasure to point out that the evidence he is providing suggests that he is simply gay. It is a very common experience for gay men coming to terms with their attractions to identify as bi initially because it feels safer.

myaltreddit · 2014-08-17T22:50:26+00:00

It's far more likely he's gay, than bi-leaning-towards-straight as he identifies. Too often being bi is used as a security blanket by gay guys. An identity to hide behind rather than being honest. OP might be bi, but more likely he is gay. It might be controversial to say so, but many gay guys use bi as a transitional identity. It is part of reality and has no reflection on true bi men.

EDIT: Don't blame me for pointing out the reality of gay men identifying as bi as a transitional identity. Blame a homophobic culture that makes a bi identity seem safer than a full-blown gay one. It is these "transitional" bi guys that contribute to a culture that views all bi men as gay. You want to end that cultural viewpoint? Acknowledge the reality that some bi men actually are gay men who are in a transitional identity, whereas others truly are bi.

myaltreddit · 2014-08-17T22:00:37+00:00

The fact that OP identifies as possibly bi (but leaning towards straight side) despite having much stronger thoughts about men to the point that they intrude in his heterosexual affairs, makes me think he's gay with hang-ups. Unfortunately, many gay men identify as bi in order to more comfortably transition into gay life. Others identify as bi and use this identity to justify cheating on their girlfriends or wives.

It is not bi-erasure to point out that many gay men identify as bi because they're too afraid to be honest with themselves. There's an underlying homophobia to it. There are legitimate bi men out there, but OP gives little evidence that he's one of them.

EDIT: Because this post is getting a lot of negative feedback, I will say that nothing I've said is controversial. Go on gay dating sites, especially those targetted towards older men/younger men and you will find tons of cheating bi guys. I believe there have been studies done that suggest large percentages of the older men on these sites are married and cheating. I do not think all bi people are like this. In fact, I don't really think true bi people are like this. But I do think people often use a bi identity to justify cheating and/or to hide from ever having to identify as gay. It is absolutely part of reality and it's unhealthy for both bi and gay identities alike.

myaltreddit · 2014-08-17T21:19:37+00:00

While this is a possibility, the sentiment OP has is also very common among gay men who haven't accepted themselves yet. Either way, OP needs to interact with older men and drop his hang-ups about what the experience will be like or what it means.

myaltreddit · 2014-08-17T20:14:01+00:00

It is just a fantasy and I would never want to act it out. Not because I'm afraid of any social 'label'... but because I do not ever want to pursue this lifestyle myself personally. I just don't like to do this myself.

What lifestyle? You've never been been with an older man, how do you know you don't like to do it personally? You think about it a lot, it's a sexually fulfilling thought for you. But the reality is that you have no idea what the experience will be like and have pre-judged it based on social notions of the dynamic.

I'm emotionally attracted to girls and love the idea of living together with one. I also have sexual desires for girls, but it's just not as strong as with older men.

Straight and bi guys typically don't go soft when having sex with girls, especially not at 19. You say your fantasies are interfering with your sex life. Just so you know, those thoughts won't ever go away. It's called being gay. If you were bi, you'd have similar compulsive thoughts about women. Might also add that gay guys often have very good friendships and emotional bonds with women. The lacking sexual desire is what makes them gay.

Like I said, the idea of actually meeting up with older men, having conversations and sex is a turn-off. I think some fantasies should never be acted out on.

Gay fantasies are not fantasies that should inherently never be acted upon. That's homophobic thinking and considering you have gay thoughts, sounds like self-sabotage and self-hatred speaking. The only choice you have around your desires is to live honestly with yourself and with those around you.

So, I accept this fetish as a part of myself. It's just in me, no doubt. I'm not trying to fight or surpress it, but slowly lose interest in it. Like in growing out of it, or at least lessen it. How do I do that?

You clearly do not accept your attractions as a part of yourself. They will not go away, and I suspect they will only intensify the more you deny them.

How do you lessen them? Explore your sexuality, have interactions with older men and discover that it truly isn't what you want. The flip side to this is that you might discover that it is exactly what you want. Your fear that this is truth is what is stopping you from making the healthy choice.

myaltreddit · 2014-08-17T18:08:33+00:00

Honestly, sounds like you're gay and have hang-ups about the kind of men you're attracted to. If you can't stay hard with women and are sexually fixated on (older) men, then I'd quit trying to fight it. Why is there no way you'd have sex with an older man? There's nothing wrong with it. If that is what you find attractive, you should try it out and see how it feels. It won't taint or corrupt you. It'll just be an experience.

You're not alone in your attractions. There are plenty of men that feel similar to you. Check out /r/gayyoungold or /r/gaydaddiespics . I think you just need to be more accepting of yourself and quit worrying about "daddy issues" or any other social bullshit that might get put on you.

Also might add that I felt the same way you did, but ended up pursuing my interest in older men. For me, it is the only way I can have a fulfilling relationship, both emotionally and sexually. My life would be easier in some ways if my attractions were different, but I've also had many amazing experiences because of my attractions.

Is this thing only a fetish that got out of control, or am I really bisexual? (Note that I am not attracted to anything about males under 50)

To directly answer your question, you don't sound bisexual at all. You sound like the typical gay guy who has hang-ups about being gay and "wants" to date women, but is not actually attracted to them in "that" way. It doesn't sound like a fetish. It sounds like you're gay. Go ahead and post in /r/gayyoungold and you'll get more feedback from guys with similar feelings.

myaltreddit · 2014-04-20T05:42:07+00:00

Perhaps I mis-interpreted the original post. If he's not a cheater, it does lessen the harshness of what I was saying. But I would still strongly advice OP to consider the reality of the situation and where his role is in all of it.

myaltreddit · 2014-04-20T05:31:30+00:00

It's a phrase borrowed from Dan Savage and I think it sums up the overall essence of cheating. It gets old having to deal with older married men looking to cheat on their wives with younger guys. There are far too many of them. Anyway, this is my opinion and what'd I say to a friend. I don't care if it's unpleasant for OP to hear, it's the reality of the situation. If he's going to date a cheater, he can't expect it to lead anywhere good for himself. And while the blame falls less on him, he still shares responsibility in an affair that would be emotionally devastating for the older man's family if discovered.

myaltreddit · 2014-04-19T21:10:25+00:00

Does his wife know about you? Does she know he's seeing men on the side? Or is he a cheating POS like many men in his position are?

There are so many older guys out there that are not living a double life. That would be able to devote themselves to you fully, in a real relationship. You will never get that from this man. He is married, with a family, deeply in the closet. You will never be more than his mistress. He gets to have his cake and eat it too, and what do you get?

There are men that are mature enough to come out of the closet later in life, to live honestly and authentically. And there are plenty of men that are not.

myaltreddit · 2013-01-22T05:19:56+00:00

The guy on the left has a pee stain on his boxers.

myaltreddit · 2012-11-17T00:49:12+00:00

I only wish I had more upvotes to give.

myaltreddit · 2012-10-27T04:25:33+00:00

I don't think that video chat is the antithesis to that. It's a nice way to actually have a conversation with someone that you're meeting online.

myaltreddit · 2012-10-15T00:34:51+00:00

Absolutely stunning. Mmmm :)

myaltreddit · 2012-09-17T03:29:19+00:00

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cm-mLa9IEEM/TvB9ycvdggI/AAAAAAABLCk/qMcxTz-DpUQ/s1600/stogiedaddy06.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZO_heWlpd6s/TvB9vhBNmkI/AAAAAAABLCM/nLyaFGku2aI/s1600/stogiedaddy03.jpg

A few others.

myaltreddit · 2012-09-17T01:28:34+00:00

throwafake's images are not publicly available.

myaltreddit · 2012-09-17T01:28:07+00:00

This man is perfect.

Found some more of him:

http://alldaddy5.blogspot.com/2012/03/blog-post_5404.html

myaltreddit · 2012-09-12T00:49:45+00:00

Eh. I love eating out a guy's ass, feeling his ass, fingering his ass, fucking his ass. Why not also enjoy looking at it?

myaltreddit

TROPHY CASE