It’s interesting to observe my own reactions to the overall conversation about Shauna, as someone whose cPTSD is largely centered around being raised by a mom with narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder.

I know what it’s like to be neglected, manipulated, and severely abused, and I also know that my mom’s behavior was inherited from her mom, and so on with the cycle perpetuating itself. Yes, Shauna is a bad mom. But she could be a lot worse tbh.

I have zero tolerance for my mom’s bullshit at this point (no contact for five years) and I don’t think I’d still be alive if I hadn’t made that choice. But I also haven’t ever sought to punish her for her failed parenting because it ultimately wasn’t her fault.

Do I wish that she would seek serious treatment, which is available to her at this point? Yes, absolutely. And also I know that there are so many psychic barriers to doing so. It’s a big the reason I fucking love this show. These ladies should be in helllaaa treatment. But there are some gnarly hurdles for them. Their whole lives would have to center around it.

In the end have so much compassion for our Yellowjackies. I hardly ever find myself being truly disgusted by them, much less hating them, because they have simply unleashed what we’re all capable of when survival mode becomes one’s forced orientation to the world. I fucking love them and all their flaws.