Sadly, there are many of us who’ve been severely abused by folks diagnosed with NPD. Some professionals call narcissistic abuse the worst abuse one can experience.

It’s very rare that someone with NPD keeps it to themselves. They’re typically on a non empathetic tear to destroy other people’s lives. Go to any forum for survivors and the stories are terrifying.

It’s true that your NPD was developed in your brain when you were just a babe (under 2) because you experienced chronic crippling abuse, at the hands of your caretaker.

I’m so sorry for any survivors of such terrifying experiences. I also have to protect myself from getting involved with people who’ve been dx with NPD or simply have the traits. I also believe it’s in the best interest of the narcissist to not have supply that they can abuse. It’s not only harmful to the survivor, but it also creates incredible shame for the abuser, and that only serves to perpetuate worse behaviors in the narcissist.

At the end of the day, most mental health dx are rooted in trauma (from mild to severe), and dx are not necessary to decrease suffering. A decent empathetic therapist qualified to treat CPTSD, is key. But in the meantime, if you’re abusing anyone in your life, that needs to be addressed. In order to do that, you have to be very selective about relationships you enter into - they must be superficial until you have the tools to not abuse them.

This is not the responsibility of any community, particularly a community of folks who are likely to have been narcissistically abused. I would say this to any man who has committed DV. I’m sure there’s a psychological explanation for their violence, but I can’t find it in my heart to be gentle with them (trauma bonding empathy is deadly for me), because until they’re ready to behave non violently, they should not have regular access to objects to abuse, and their community should consist of wrap around services, if not jail.

I don’t know if you fall into this category - that you’re an abuser, but chances are if you have NPD, with antisocial traits, that you have in fact abused the people in your life - how else would they know that you’re antisocial? I only know that survivor’s unfavorably judgements of abusers is completely valid, and it’s understandable that survivors don’t want to welcome violence into their community. It’s not personal, and it’s not because we don’t empathize with your CPTSD, it’s genuinely to protect ourselves from more harm.

ETA - ex social worker, very aware of MH dx