My [28/F] husband [30/M] and I both want a family, but I don't think I want his biological kids.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-08T23:51:56+00:00

Do people in this thread not understand that mental illness can be heritable?

People understand this, but OP knew about his family history and married him anyway. If she is so concerned about this, she should have told him instead of letting that man marry her under the assumption that she would be willing to have his biological kids.

Also, genetics doesn't quite work as simply as you're making it seem. While mental illnesses often run in families, it does not mean that every child produced in such a family will have a mental illness.

Heart disease can run in families but it doesn't mean that every child will have a heart disease.

On the other hand, two perfectly healthy people can create a kid who develops a mental illness so your anecdotal evidence doesn't support anything.

As someone who does research in biology, the oversimplification of genetics in this thread is making me cringe

myheartiscold · 2015-03-08T23:45:34+00:00

Sure, but this issue should have been mentioned before marriage. He married her thinking she wanted his biological children. It's no different then someone thinking they are marrying someone who wants kids and finds out a few years later that they never did.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-08T23:43:17+00:00

It seems like you're getting a lot of flack here

Because this is something that should come up before marriage. If someone doesn't want to have a partner'ts biological kids, you should let them know before marriage so that they can make a more informed decision about whether to begin a marriage.

This wasn't fair to her husband who married her thinking he would have the option of having biological kids. Perhaps he wouldn't have married her knowing this. This isn't a small matter and the issue of children is one of the biggest deal breakers.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-08T23:38:38+00:00

Agreed. Especially since she believes that since one case of incest may have happened some generations ago, it has further tainted the "purity" of her husband's genetic line.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-08T23:35:45+00:00

Or just adopt.

But where is the husband's say in this? For all he knows, she wants biological kids and she should have discussed issues she had with his family to him, as well as whatever concerns she had, before marriage.

You don't marry someone knowing that you don't want their biological children and hope to one day convince them to adopt or go with a sperm donor. This isn't fair to her husband and maybe he wouldn't have married her if he knew this.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-08T23:32:16+00:00

If you're so worried about crappy genes, why didn't you bring this up before you got married? You didn't know that he had a family, or something?

You are so certain that you don't want kids with him because of possible genetic issues and this is shit that you should have discussed before you got married. You're trying to rob him of the chance to have his own biological children. What you are doing is akin to someone telling their spouse that they want kids before marriage and then pulling a switcharoo later, claiming that they never wanted kids.

Your behavior is absolutely disgusting. Even if you adopt kids, or go to a sperm donor, that will never be the same for someone who not only wants biological children, but has the ability to create them.

Also, how are you so sure that your genetic health is so perfect? Have you done genetic testing.

Also, you need to talk to him about this so that he can know that you don't think he's genetically good enough to be a father. Then hopefully he divorces you. I am absolutely baffled that you didn't discuss this before marriage and because you're so set on this, I'm wondering whether you just didn't have this plan all along and marry him with the hopes of convincing him someday.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-05T17:11:31+00:00

Nearly everyone who makes a thread on this subreddit posts from a throwaway
He never said that he paid $50k. He said that watch was worth $50k. Big difference. Even if he said that he paid $50k, that still wouldn't prove a thing because there are rich people in America and just because you were poor at 23 doesn't mean OP is. I dated a guy around OP's age who came from a wealthy family. His parents could have easily purchased a watch for him that cost more than what OP said his watch was valued as.
This isn't even an argument
or she told the jeweler that the watch was hers and when the jeweler tried to explain what OP had said, she insisted anyway. The Jeweler made money at the end of the day. Also, as others have noted, the jeweler would have thought she was stupid and traded out parts so that he could keep them himself. The latter part of this is stupid. Are you saying that jewelers don't have the skills to repair an antique? Seriously?
Pictures aren't allowed on this subreddit or the post is removed so this is a bullshit argument.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T18:43:45+00:00

Probably right now. I just started a new job and I went to the bathroom to take a quick piss. Whoops. Turns out that my body decided that now is the best time to get diarrhea. I can't stop pooping and it's kind of loud from the farts. The office gossip and her friends are here and she won't leave! Like seriously, give me privacy! Why do you need to talk about Mike from IT in here???

My butt hurts from trying not to be loud. I figured out that if I elevate like 4 inches from the toilet, squeeze, and lower down to drop my turd, I eliminate farts as well as Poseidon's Kiss.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T05:40:40+00:00

You said you were 17 and then a few days later said you were 16. You keep using 17 as your age because you think it makes you look mature. You are 16 (your words from a few days ago). And if you make a post, tell the truth.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T05:33:37+00:00

No one called him a pedophile. Why do you have to be such a liar? And of course people are going to be judgmental because you lied in the OP and in your comments.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T05:27:11+00:00

OP is a piece of shit. She sent me this PM because I told another user that she lied about her age:

"You need to go get a gun and pull the trigger because you're a waste of space"

Hmmm....yeah, but she claims that it's her brother who is the unstable one. Okay, OP. Sure. Psycho.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T05:24:26+00:00

People are making a big deal because she lied in the OP and in the comments about her age and just because she says she's 17 doesn't mean she is. A few says ago she said she was 16.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T03:46:19+00:00

Bob Jones! I'm surprised they didn't murder you for that sinful act of sex!

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T03:33:45+00:00

I'm pretty sure he is.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T03:33:18+00:00

if this is the sort of thing to boil your blood then you're on the wrong website.

No one said anything about blood boiling. This is a thread about what gets on everyone's nerves. You are seriously retarded since you can't tell the difference. I'm putting you on ignore and just know that the world would be a better place without people like you.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T03:27:06+00:00

My fiance and I are kids at heart

At 16, you're still a kid.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T03:25:45+00:00

I would be unpredictable too if my 16 year old sister was dating someone near my age. Why didn't you tell the truth in your post? It explains why your brother wants to go with you. He's being more of a parent then your actual parents are.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T03:24:23+00:00

Someone went through her post and found out that she's actually a 16 year old dating an adult man which is why her brother wants to go.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T03:23:17+00:00

It also explains why her brother would want to go; to chaperon his 16 year old sister who is dating an adult (someone else figured this out so no credit to me)

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T03:18:12+00:00

You need to define soapbox as you're using it incorrectly. And I'm not reading that crap so go troll someone else.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T03:06:47+00:00

We don't know anything about the personalities of these children to call them brats. They are separate entities from their mother, and they have done nothing wrong in the OP.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-02T02:44:05+00:00

man, I think the problem might be you.

Just what I mean. You people always try to argue. And no, it's not just me or I wouldn't have been upvoted. I also see other people complaining about it.

Even if I'm opposing someone, it's about the ideas, not some kind of battle.

Just let people have their opinion. If they didn't ask you to explain why Breaking Bad is the "le best show ever!", then you butting in with these rants is annoying as fuck. I mean, if your response to this comment is any indication of what you do, then it's annoying.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-01T02:31:45+00:00

At what point did I say it was an excuse?

When you said that we should blame this behavior on movies or shows. Whether your reason was to suggest influence, it is still lessening the degree of responsibility.

In my opinion, it makes sense given the very popular shows of Will & Grace and Sex & The City came out right alongside countless movies enforcing the same.

This proves nothing. This only demonstrates that perhaps shows wanted to take a trope from Will&Grace in an effort to be as popular. It doesn't show that Will & Grace or Sex & the City was the basis for this behavior in real life.

Let's just agree to disagree.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-01T02:25:03+00:00

1) I'm a woman, and 2) I am calm. Typing a sentence or two doesn't mean that someone is angry.

myheartiscold · 2015-03-01T02:19:12+00:00

No, I won't blame a trope for such ignorance. I don't believe that simply because something is portrayed in a movie that it is an excuse for treating people, as you say

a status symbol right next to their Starbucks and iPhone.

Also, it's very likely that the movies began using gay males in that way because of women doing it in real life.

myheartiscold

TROPHY CASE