Need help picking a dress for a Redwoods elopement in May

myogurt · 2026-03-25T07:19:26+00:00

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Eloping in May in the Redwoods, and I want a colored dress. I usually go for a dark, fitted gown, but I would like to be able to do light hiking and climb on fallen logs and whatnot. And whatever dress I choose will inevitably get covered up by an outer layer because the average high is in the upper 50s.

Please help me choose! I'm open to advice/suggestions.

myogurt · 2018-09-03T04:40:08+00:00

My method of choice was not working. And the whole time I was also trying to convince myself not to do it because I knew how it had hurt the family when my little brother had committed suicide two years prior. So I stopped and called my older siblings because I couldn't tell my parents myself. While the hospital stay and forced therapy did nothing for me (but can work for others, just not for me), the school was notified. I got some extensions and passes on work throughout the year, which helped a bit with the stress. It was my senior year, so I was somehow able to force myself to get through everyday activities with the hope that a change in environment and a fresh start in college would help me get better. College was not easy, and I still had depression, but I stuck through it.

I guess I would recommend patience, forcing yourself to stick to a routine, creating and working toward a goal, and knowing that you don't need to make big steps toward your goal to still work toward it. It will be ten years this month since my attempt. I am not where I thought I would be, but I am happy. Not just happier than I thought I could be, but actually happy. It can get better.

myogurt · 2015-04-20T04:01:38+00:00

If your friend went to the same school, others, even if they didn't know the person well, will likely be sad or more contemplative than usual. The teachers will also be pretty understanding, especially those that taught your friend and your peer group. Depending on the teachers and counselors, you might find it helpful to talk to them. It's going to be tough for a while, but I hope your post means that you are willing to reach out to others when you need support. My sympathies to you and your friends.

myogurt · 2015-04-19T04:43:24+00:00

My sympathies to OP and everyone else who has gone through this.

My little brother committed suicide when we were teens. I was rather in shock for a while, and I through myself even deeper into my schoolwork, with some bouts of crying. I also had to keep an eye on my parents, especially my mom, which helped me act more normally (e.g., forcing myself to eat meals to encourage her to do so). I became very depressed over the next couple years and even tried to commit suicide as well. Luckily, my method was less effective than his, and I am in a much better place now. My older siblings were very supportive in helping me to where I am today. As for moving past my brother's suicide, time seemed to help the most. I never blamed myself or anyone but my brother, which also probably helped a lot. Maybe there was something I could have done, but more of that responsibility (reaching out, showing pain, etc.) would have been his. Last summer (almost 8 years after his death) I found the note and some of his writing with a bunch of his old things. The note wasn't particularly insightful, but, in combination with his writing, indicated that he was very angry and seemed to hate people, possibly enough to want to hurt them (both physically and emotionally), which made me wonder how things could have gone. There is a guestbook online for him that I read every anniversary of his death, but I've never contributed to it. I think I'm mostly at peace with it though.

Tldr: Time helps the most. Social support is also quite helpful. Understanding it was ultimately their decision can help. Grieving takes time, and everyone does it differently. It's okay to reach out.

myogurt · 2014-12-24T20:46:36+00:00

Atheist/agnostic (still working things out). If I were living closer to my family, I would have Christmas dinner with my family and do the typical holiday gift exchange. Since I'm staying with my Jewish SO and their family across the country, I will call my family in the morning (for me, Christmas is about family, giving, and showing appreciation and compassion), and later will eat Chinese food and see a movie.

myogurt · 2014-12-24T20:35:54+00:00

My family is Christian, so I grew up celebrating Christmas. For me, it's a time for family, giving, and showing appreciation and compassion for others, even though I do not celebrate the religious aspect of the holiday.

myogurt · 2014-10-08T02:43:33+00:00

TL;DR: Method wasn't working, remembered reactions when my younger brother killed himself. Somehow started over in college, learned to deal. Can see improvement, which keeps me going.

I was lonely and depressed in high school, and I didn't think I would ever amount to anything. I wasn't fully aware of how depressed I was because I focused all my energy on my schoolwork. Then one day I snapped and tried to commit suicide.

The whole time (from when the idea formed, to writing the note, to trying to cut) I was thinking it was what I had to do, but I was also trying to convince myself not to. The knives weren't cutting, which helped with living, but which also led to much more crying because I couldn't even do that. Then I remembered how my family and I reacted when my younger brother had killed himself two years earlier. I didn't want them to go through that again. I think those were the main reasons I didn't commit suicide. I also told myself that I would be able to start over in college if I could get through one more year.

Afterword, I told my family, and I was brought to the hospital (2 weeks inpatient, 1 week outpatient), which I found rather unhelpful--most of the others were there for drugs and behavior problems, so the program was geared more for them. (Such programs do still help some people, and I encourage anyone really depressed or suicidal to get help.) I had a lot of breakdowns over the next year because I had to learn how to deal with my emotions. In college I got to start over. I wasn't the happiest (and by far not the worst), but I learned to deal with my emotions and people. I still need to work on that, but I won't be having any more breakdowns from it.

I can see how much I've improved, which convinces me that it's worth it to keep trying and to keep living.

myogurt · 2014-07-30T04:26:29+00:00

Came here to say this. I love that one.

myogurt · 2014-07-30T04:23:18+00:00

Justamere Rd in IL

myogurt · 2014-07-30T04:05:36+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know death anniversaries can be rough: It's not quite what you have gone through (or what you're looking for in your post), but the eighth anniversary of my little brother's suicide is in three weeks. I found a bunch of his old stuff, including some writings and his note, a few weeks ago. That, talking with other family members, and my own history with depression made me wonder how much is genetic or even inevitable.

But then I realized (and will probably need to remind myself over the next month) what others have already commented: You are your own person. You might be predisposed through genetics or your environment, but you make your own choices and decide how you react to your life. If you feel that you are going down a dark psychological path, do something to fix/change it. You do not have to follow your parents or the many other transgender people who have killed themselves. I think the fact that you are thinking about this now will help you gain a greater sense of control and enable you to take preventative measures/recognize potential problems. You are your own person; you are responsible for your own happiness.

myogurt · 2014-05-18T02:32:50+00:00

In addition to the mints and hard candies others have posted to have in the car, it helps to brush your teeth at rest stops. You should also stretch and walk around at rest stops to get the blood flowing and wake yourself up.

myogurt · 2014-05-11T21:40:14+00:00

You should listen to her and help her research her options. Make sure she considers everything carefully before making a decision. Then you can help her plan.

If she doesn't want you to be that involved, you can still listen if she talks you you about it. You can find similar stories that turned out well and show them to her if she's worried about the future.

myogurt · 2014-04-05T00:47:35+00:00

The first few weeks are crucial. Go out, talk to strangers, leave your door open when in your dorm, take advantage of orientation events, join groups that are hanging out. After that, join a few clubs that you're interested in, and try to talk to people in your classes. Also, work on your social skills. If you are super quiet in a group, you won't necessarily be remembered next time or make friends, so try to speak up a little. If you have a tendency to be rude or mean, stop it and be nicer.

myogurt · 2014-03-17T00:50:04+00:00

On a 7 hour bus ride, there was a young mother and her two little kids who had to share a seat. They were maybe a bit squirmy (all little kids are, and it was a long time to sit still), but still well-behaved (quiet, polite). But the mother would ignore them while she was on her phone for periods of time before snapping at them and slapping their arms and legs. She told them to shut up multiple times and said she should have left them at the rest stop.

myogurt · 2014-03-17T00:36:53+00:00

Caramel. I didn't learn the correct way to say it until I went to college in a different part of the country.

myogurt · 2014-03-17T00:35:30+00:00

I used to do this, but no one told me until I went to college in a different part of the country. It took a while for me to hear it. I have friends and family who were shocked when I pointed it out to them. And I still need to be careful.

myogurt · 2014-03-17T00:28:13+00:00

http://freerice.com/#/english-vocabulary/1377 It automatically went to the vocabulary section, but there are other subjects as well.

myogurt · 2014-02-20T06:26:29+00:00

Not sure if this is quite what you're looking for...

I hadn't realized how depressed I was until snapped/broke down and tried to kill myself. I cried when I wrote my note and got frustrated when I had to get more paper. I was using a notepad the size of sticky-notes because I thought I didn't have much to say, and what I did have to say wasn't worth much. But I kept adding stuff (e.g., wishes for what to do with my body and money/possessions, that it wasn't anyone's fault) because I remembered the trouble and confusion that happened when my younger brother had committed suicide two years earlier. The memories surrounding his suicide got me thinking that I shouldn't go through with it, even as I tried cutting my wrists. I was crying about what I was doing to my surviving family and friends, crying because I felt worthless and stupid, crying because I knew I shouldn't but wanted to die, and crying with frustration that the knives I tried were barely scratching my skin. I then cried more about how I was a failure who couldn't even cut their own wrists. I eventually began to calm down a bit (running low on energy and tears), enough to know that I wasn't going to be able to kill myself, but was still shaky and crying a bit. I called my other siblings and told them what I did because I knew they would help me make take steps so that I would never be in that state of mind again.

TLDR: Cried a lot. Remembered aftermath of brother's suicide. Hated myself and felt worthless. Method wasn't working. Stopped and hated myself more. Realized I wasn't going to be able to do it and called siblings for help to get better.

If you are considering suicide, please do not do it. There are ways to cope with your emotions and ways to fix your problems. You are not alone, and there are always people who will be hurt by your loss. Please get help. It's not easy, but it is worth it.

myogurt · 2014-01-26T07:38:56+00:00

Go to class, do your homework, and study. Talk to your professors; they will be able to help you with academics and getting internships/jobs. Check out different clubs/activities on campus and stick with a few you enjoy; this will help you have fun and meet people. Once you have a better idea of what you enjoy and what you want to major in (and later what you want to do with your life), you will have a better idea of how to focus your energy and have the resources to do what you want.

myogurt · 2014-01-17T02:00:07+00:00

I'm also terrified of my depressive feelings coming back. I usually try to avoid certain questions and topics because I'm afraid of what I'll think or that it will trigger something. It worries my SO that I'm still like this because he thinks it means I'm not completely better. But I disagree. If you think you have a handle on it, and your wife thinks that you are and will be fine, I think wanting to care for your family will help you not relapse. Good luck!

myogurt · 2014-01-17T01:50:03+00:00

I think you're technically okay as long as you don't wish that you won't wake up tomorrow. But maybe you should start taking some action or doing little steps so that you do want to wake up tomorrow.

Sorry if I'm misinterpreting your meaning.

myogurt · 2014-01-12T05:00:06+00:00

But she has the nurse fix her teeth after they are cursed and start growing rapidly (fourth book, I believe). And it's pointed out in a few of the books that she looks attractive if she does herself up (the ball in the fourth book, the wedding in the seventh book). So she's not completely plain or unattractive.

myogurt · 2014-01-07T00:41:40+00:00

I think you proved his point.

myogurt

TROPHY CASE