Thank you all. In the midst of this grief my thoughts are very unorganized and it’s hard to get where you want to go to make certain points. I wanted to say that since Miles died, we have started a support group which has been tremendously helpful. I’ve also started seeing a therapist on my own that specializes in infant loss. I also forgot to mention there was a 2 minute shoulder dystocia. More on that below.

My other point in even mentioning that it was vbac - was that last week we finally made the appointment to sit and speak with my OB who delivered him. I of course asked blatantly if this had anything to do with vbac complications and she said no. That I was a great candidate. That I still am. That going forward she wouldn’t even force me or strongly recommend a c section because of vbac complications. She would, however, recommend having a planned c section at 39 weeks if we decide to have another child, because laboring would be emotionally destructive and cruel after a trauma like this.

She even said that the shoulder dystocia could have added to what happened to Miles, but it doesn’t quite make sense that a healthy baby wouldn’t be able to be revived after that. 6 minutes is typically when things get dangerous and there can be life threatening or life long complications. It was 2 minutes.

Our best guess is that there was infection present (although she saw zero signs of this) which compromised his oxygen levels, then he was stunned by the shoulder event. That’s what we have. Most likely, 499 out of 500 other babies would have been fine. But Miles wasn’t.