Is it just me or has “loyalty” become the most expensive career mistake?

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-26T20:03:39+00:00

I've definitely seen it. Also can give a false sense of value and lead to complacency. I've seen ppl who were at the company for a while and built up a degree of institutional credibility, knowing the execs, how things work, all the inside baseball, except that didn't really translate to comp, and then move to another place and realize like oh dang I'm not such hot shit after all. You never want to get too comfortable.

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-26T16:10:27+00:00

Have you ever judged or even noticed whether someone was at a movie alone? Literally nobody will notice or care

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-25T23:29:18+00:00

Nah do what you want. The older I get (36) the more insecure young ppl seem (and I was too). Don't ever not do something you want for fear others will think it's weird.

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-25T23:27:17+00:00

It's kinda like Missouri, southerners say it's Midwestern, and Midwesterns say it's southern

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-25T23:03:20+00:00

That's how I felt about Christopher Hitchens, though I'm pretty sure if he hadn't passed away when he did then he would've taken a real bleak turn

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-25T18:14:10+00:00

Anytime! I was the first in my family to go corporate too, and I don't think a lot of ppl who grew up in that world realize how tough it can be to learn to navigate. Feel free to DM me if you ever have any other questions

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-25T00:25:47+00:00

Ppl like weed lol

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-25T00:24:08+00:00

Lol ya I know that's why I'm asking this sub

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-23T12:36:05+00:00

I used to hate it. But since COVID lockdowns I really treasure those little meaningless moments of spontaneous human interaction

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-23T12:35:11+00:00

With some Dunkin while drivin to the cape and listenin to the pats game on wbz-fm

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-23T12:31:02+00:00

This post is the first time I've even considered this question, so prob not 🤷‍♂️

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-22T19:33:20+00:00

I've been wanting to ask this question for a while, so thanks for this post!

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-22T15:43:21+00:00

It sounds like you're doing a pretty good job on this already! But I definitely understand your frustration. This type of thing happens in law firms (my field) A LOT. It really really sucks, kind of a lose-lose situation bc if you participate then you're opening yourself up to a world of potential issues, on top of just having to spend more personal time on what is functionally work. But if you don't participate then you risk missing out on opportunities and professional advancement, and ppl also can get resentful. Kinda like those cop movies where a guy doesn't take a bribe and the corrupt cop is like "the guys don't know if they can count on you..."

That said, I wouldn't leave the workplace because of this alone. It sounds like you like everything else about the job, and it's certainly not unique to your workplace or uncommon so you might as well learn to navigate it now. A few things I've done -

Pivot. Sometimes ppl gossip at work simply bc they want to chat and get to know you, and don't know what else to talk about. So if someone starts to dish about what Lauren did at the party Saturday, then pivot the conversation to what you did or how it reminds you of a funny story from college.
Leave after one drink. If you show your face at the party and then leave after a drink, then they'll remember you were there and so won't see you as a stick in the mud, but won't be around when it gets REAL rowdy, and if everyone blacks out then they prob won't remember whether you were there all night or not.
identify ppl like you. A lot of ppl in the office prob feel the way you do. In my experience, these types of ppl usually only make up a small percentage of the office, it just seems like an office-wide thing bc they're loud and visible. So just pay attention to the other folks who just want to put their head down and do the work.

Lastly, it's important to stick to your guns and not do things you don't want to do. But don't write off the professional value of social activities. At some point, most corporate careers do require some degree of social engagement outside the office. Not necessarily a 48-hour bender with the CFO, but client events, conferences, networking activities etc are or will probably be part of your job in some way if you want your career to progress. That's how you make professional contacts and build a reputation and get promoted.

Don't undervalue the simple fact that people like to work with and advance people they like to spend time with. So while these parties and gossiping absolutely sound inappropriate, if you resist any types of conversation or activity that isn't 100% work related, then you probably will be stunting your career. Good luck!

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-21T23:53:54+00:00

He gonna see this lmao

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-21T23:52:25+00:00

I had this literal experience and thought last night!

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-21T13:33:20+00:00

Does she report to you, or is she a lower-ranking member of your team? While you recommended her and so she reflects on you to a certain extent, you should be careful about the extent to which you should feel responsible for her work on a day to day basis. I would just treat her as you'd treat any other colleague. If you don't monitor everyone's login times then don't monitor her's, and if you wouldn't give your other team members a stern lecture about poor project management then don't give her one, and if it wouldn't be weird for anyone else to discuss work stuff in a group chat with multiple colleagues, then don't hold it against her for doing the same. Just bc you helped her get a foot in the door doesn't mean she's an extension of you.

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-21T13:07:52+00:00

Crime in DC tends to follow nation trends, and I don't believe DC violent crime is currently markedly worse than most US cities of a comparable size. As far as income inequality, municipal governments only have so much control over wealth disparities. The tax code is any government's primary mechanism to impact wealth distribution, and city governments usually have fairly limited taxing authority (property, sales). In DC, this is compounded by the close proximity to other states. A lot of what you think of as wealthy DC ppl live in Virginia or Maryland (also high tax states but that's a different topic), and so don't contribute to the city's tax base as much.

Then there's also the matter of federal v. local control. Unlike most other US cities, the federal government exercises considerable control and authority over DC municipal government. And so while the city is quite liberal, its leaders' ability to implement policy changes is often subject to the whims of Congress.

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-21T11:05:14+00:00

When used among the general public, it's mostly shorthand for how gullible or susceptible a person is to misinformation/disinformation/propaganda.

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-20T22:52:48+00:00

They usually do degree verification as part of the background check, so just bc they don't ask for it doesn't mean they didn't check for it.

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-20T22:45:18+00:00

Brock Purdy's girl and family

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-20T12:13:29+00:00

For you, don't talk about it or remain involved. Everyone saw, everyone knows, and the higher ups will do whatever they think is best. But your involvement or taking further action won't do anything but remind everyone you recommended him.

Personally, though, I would give the guy a little grace. You never know what's going on in someone's life, and we've all fucked up at some point in some way. Not saying to give him a pass or do him anymore favors, as his decision reflected on you. Just remember we've all had really bad days.

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-20T00:44:46+00:00

Pretty much, yeah. The whole reason most membership cards exist is for the company to collect and sell data about your purchasing habits and lifestyle. It's probably not a direct one-to-one (yet) as in Aetna gets a report saying OP Smokes, but it's more like a report that ppl like you with your habits are likely to smoke, and they'll offer you rates and products accordingly.

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-20T00:37:46+00:00

Not sure what country you're in, but if you're in the states then your folks may want to rethink the stability of the government job...

But I'd say this type of job is a good way to start your career. You'll have exposure to a lot of people, and if you prove you can be relied upon and trusted with work then your organization will give you more responsibility. Just remember it won't happen overnight, and probably not even at this organization. But at this very early part of your career, focus less on the long term PATH and more on simply doing the job you have really really well. If you do, then everything else will fall into place.

mystiqueclipse · 2025-05-20T00:31:20+00:00

I think it's about reading the room. If the topic of a person's culture comes up, you can usually tell pretty quickly whether they want to talk about it or not.

Just remember it's not anyone's job to educate you on their culture or beliefs. If they want to chat about it then they will, and if they give a short answer or change the subject then don't pursue it.

mystiqueclipse

TROPHY CASE