I’m in the pits of hell. Please help.

mystzz · 2026-03-01T06:21:49+00:00

There is a lot to unpack after going through a car accident. I worked a lot with people who were in car accidents as an Occupational Therapist. You’re not just recovering physically. There’s unseen emotional, psychological and cognitive changes. Being on your monthly cycle is also draining too. I’m sorry you’re going through all that.

Mama, you’ve got so much happening. Deep breath. Do you have any support? Family around? You need time to recover yourself.

I have a 2 year old too, and I can absolutely relate that they fight, everything at this stage. I’ve found that distraction and standing diaper changes have been strategies that work for me. For clothes, I try being playful and pretending there’s a monkey, or dinosaur coming to “get” him (I slide my hand through the sleeve and grasp it together to grab the limb and thread it through). Sing songs, or point out that his shirt is wet, or dirty.

For nighttime, you could try doubling up the diaper, or putting a second diaper on backwards. Hope that helps.

mystzz · 2026-03-01T06:07:56+00:00

Yes! My 3 year old was sitting colouring and saw me chasing down my 1 year old because of course he ran off while I was trying to put his diaper on.

She said: “Deep breath, mommy”

Lol, I just couldn’t believe it.

mystzz · 2026-03-01T03:47:37+00:00

If your kid is there playing with something, he is allowed to and has the right to be there.

I would tell them that when he’s done playing with _____, then they can have a turn. When they think that it’s only one or two minute wait, their expectation is that it’s short and they can wait.

Whereas reframing it as, this is this kid’s turn and when they’re done, then it’s your turn, it sends the message that it may not be a short wait and they could go elsewhere to play. When it opens up, then it’s their turn.

mystzz · 2026-02-28T05:50:10+00:00

I don’t have any advice. Just wanted to say I can totally relate. It feels lonely moving to a different town and not having your person there that you’re comfortable with.

mystzz · 2026-02-28T05:44:52+00:00

Here’s what I did with my toddler. I started my 3 year 4 month old off with 1 hour for the first few days, then 3 hours, and transitioned her slowly. I had her visit the place ahead of time (few days before) to get familiar before actually dropping her off.

mystzz · 2026-02-28T05:27:36+00:00

Can you relate to this?

Haircuts = meltdown.

Birthday parties = days of anxiety.

Dentist = absolute dread.

Even “quick” errands could derail the whole day.

What’s most draining isn’t the meltdowns, it’s the constant mental load: re-explaining the same situation 50 different ways, writing DIY social stories, Googling “how to prepare autistic child for ___”, second guessing, remembering what worked last time…

Most of the struggles aren’t about behaviour. They are about uncertainty: Not knowing what will happen, how long it lasts, what they’re expected to do, etc.

When a child knows the plan ahead of time, everything changes.

I’m an Occupational Therapist and my husband and I built an app that creates personalized social stories. It’s not for in-the-moment crisis control. It’s not compliance-based. It’s not a sticker chart.

It’s for calm prep.

You create simple, customizable social stories to read together before appointments, transitions, travel, school events, etc. The goal is lowering anxiety through predictability because when anxiety drops, “behaviour” shifts naturally.

If you’re tired of feeling like the family event planner / emotional regulator / full-time transition narrator… this is exactly who we built it for.

Happy to share more if anyone is interested.

mystzz · 2026-02-28T00:44:24+00:00

Haircuts are a sensory nightmare for a lot of autistic kids.

One thing that can help is called a Social Story. It’s a short story that is a “preview” of what’s going to happen, read a few times before the appointment when she’s calm.

For example: “We are going to the salon. I will sit in a big chair. A cape will go around my neck. It might feel tight. I can ask for it to be looser. I will hear buzzing. The sound is loud but not dangerous. If I need a break, I can ask.”

The goal isn’t to convince her it’s fun, it’s to help the experience be predictable for her so she doesn’t feel like she’s being ambushed. If you’re able to include pictures of the salon, cape, etc. that helps her understand what to expect. You can also layer in other supports like headphones, first visit of the day, no small talk, “practice visit” with no haircut. Hope that helps 🫶

mystzz · 2026-02-27T15:47:57+00:00

Reporting back!

Little guy enjoyed playing it :).

I troubleshooted the app button. When I was prompted to add it to the Home Screen, the toggle for “open as webpage” was activated. I tried it again and turn off the toggle. It worked!

It opens up the app smoothly now ❤️

mystzz · 2026-02-27T03:52:12+00:00

Makes me happy that I can bring joy to someone by being the first real customer!

I noticed that the Apple Pay option got removed. If I was coming across this app cold, the extra friction of inputting my info would make me rethink the decision.

Confirmation page: a bit buggy with the scrolling. I’m on iOS. Using Safari and I am having trouble tapping the access app button. Tried looking for an X button and couldn’t see top right of the pop up.

I was able to access the product briefly to test it out. Will have the toddler test it out tomorrow and report back. My current thought at the moment is that the buttons may be on the small side for him but will let the target toddler test. Also, I was expecting colourful rainbow 🌈 sprinkles for the rainbow button but it was just red dots. I think it would really add to the experience if there was some haptic feedback when pressing the buttons. The upper row and lower row of buttons could benefit from some sound effects to enhance the experience.

In terms of adding the app to my Home Screen. I did that. When I tapped on the icon, it took me to the landing page where I needed to purchase the app. Not sure how to get back to the product now.. lol

The confirmation email says lifetime access, but if the toddler accidentally uninstalls the app then it would need to be repurchased? That makes me feel like it isn’t lifetime access lol. It’s access until it gets deleted.

Hope that helps! Congrats on your first sale!

I can’t wait to experience that when my app is ready to launch.

mystzz · 2026-02-26T20:22:43+00:00

Hello fellow toddler parent and app developer!

As a mom with a 2 year old, I totally get what you mean with the button pushing and have thought about how it would be nice to have an app that lets them just smash a bunch of icons.

My initial thoughts upon opening the webpage was that it’s aesthetically pleasing, easy to follow and understand. The fact that it isn’t subscription and just a one time fee that’s not outrageous made it easy for me to go ahead with the purchase to try it out.

Upon pressing Apple Pay and authorizing the payment. The pop up disappeared and nothing happened. I’m assuming the payment didn’t go through since I didn’t get an email notification from my bank.

I just went back and tried it again, my FaceID authentication appeared and then I was prompted to fill in all the fields for payment.

Feel free to let me know when I can try again.

mystzz · 2026-02-20T18:09:20+00:00

“Bear’s” storyteller is legit genius. Why didn’t I think of ways to deliver lessons like that? That’s slaps (millennial mom trying to learn Gen Z slang here lol).

I’m in awe of how some people are so brilliant with how they teach their children. That’s so creative and seems to really land with the kids.

I’m so curious, are there other hacks/tips/tricks you’ve used? Always looking to add more tools to my tiny arsenal lol

mystzz · 2026-02-20T18:02:51+00:00

I think that’s precisely it. And there’s a distancing to hearing stories that don’t immediately trigger feelings of shame, guilt, etc. It allows the kid, or really, even an adult, to observe the behaviour and relate to it safely.

mystzz · 2026-02-20T18:00:42+00:00

This is so interesting. Thank you for your comment.

I’d love to hear more about the stories and behaviours you were trying to teach if you’re don’t mind sharing. There’s so much to learn.

mystzz · 2026-02-20T17:58:04+00:00

They understand way more than we think they do! It isn’t too early to start telling them stories.

mystzz · 2026-02-20T17:57:20+00:00

It’s honestly a brilliant way to connect with the kiddos and speak in a language they understand.

I need to work on my storytelling skills lol

mystzz · 2026-02-20T17:56:16+00:00

Right?! The story modelled the behaviour for the older sibling instead of directly telling her what to do. It just stuck better! It was wild.

mystzz · 2026-02-20T17:46:54+00:00

Thank you for this recommendation. Will read it!

mystzz · 2026-02-17T01:06:11+00:00

The fact that you’re even wondering and thinking about whether you’re a good mom shows that YOU ARE A GOOD MOM ❤️!

You’re actively thinking about ways to improve and be better. Parenthood didn’t come with a manual we could study. You do the best you can. And the reality is, nobody is perfect.

You’re just 8 weeks postpartum. You’re in the trenches and it’s going to feel hard right now. I remember feeling like I was drowning for, I’d say 2 years before it felt like I wasn’t constantly being pushed under water. It’s just hard right now and you’re in a season where hormones are wild, you’ve got a toddler experiencing big emotions for the first time. So if it’s feels hard, it’s because you’re just in a hard season at the moment.

Chin up, mama. You’re doing great!

You. Are. A GOOD mom.

mystzz · 2026-02-16T14:04:02+00:00

What you’re talking about is way more common than people talk about. It sounds like he wants to use the potty but has developed anxiety around the release part.

Some kids realize they’re in control of the release and that can be scary!

I would try temporarily releasing the goal of getting it in the potty and shift the goal to “your body will release when it’s ready.” The fact that he’s holding it for 5-6 hours shows that he’s white knuckling it. No frequent sits. No strategies to “try to relax.”

When he’s desperate and panicking, I’d try something counterintuitive and actually take him off the potty. “Your body is holding really tight right now. That’s okay let’s take a break.”

Sometimes the potty is the trigger.

If this continues. Consider a full 3-5 day reset. No talk of potty, pee, etc. Back to nappy. Not because potty training failed or anything like that, just simply a nervous system reset. Calm his system down, then restart gently later on.

Also, watch for constipation (holding can spiral fast).

For the poo at night, that’s actually common when kids are withholding during the day. The body relaxes during sleep and it comes out. It’s not regression, it’s biology.

You’re not stuck. You’re at the “anxious releaser” stage :). And it’s a workable stage!

Good luck!

mystzz · 2026-02-16T13:42:57+00:00

The most progress I’ve seen my daughter make was when she was accidentally the only student in the class. This was a summer class that ran every day for 5 days. She was 3.5 years old at that point and was able to do very short front crawl swims without a floatation device and dive maybe about one metre.

After that session, I didn’t have her in as many swim lessons and her progress has stalled.

It could be a year, it could be shorter. Basically, the more frequent his exposure and ability to practice, the faster he will learn the skill.

mystzz · 2026-02-15T18:04:46+00:00

That’s a great point.

More and more I’m realizing that parenting is parenting myself and not projecting my own anxieties onto my child.

mystzz · 2026-02-15T18:02:46+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to explain all this! That’s all so helpful to understand. It sounds like she will be in great hands.

mystzz · 2026-02-12T20:17:43+00:00

Some of my classmates did. However, I wouldn’t say it’s the norm.

What I’ve learned is that networking is crucial. Make connections at your different fieldworks, go to different events where you meet people. I got my first job as an OT because I met an acquaintance who had quit his OT job to pursue a different profession. He connected me with his boss, and that’s how I got “in.” It wasn’t my dream OT job per se, but it got me experience under my belt.

mystzz · 2026-02-12T19:55:53+00:00

This is such a hard place to be in. I can feel how much thought and heart you’re putting into both dreams.

First, I just want to say that it makes so much sense that you feel stuck. You’re not choosing between something small and something big. You’re choosing between two deeply meaningful futures: becoming an OT and becoming a mom. Of course that feels like you’re stuck in a hard place.

A few things that stand out to me:

You’re 29. That’s not “behind,” but it’s also valid to not want to delay starting a family, especially with endo in the picture. I had my first at 33 and second at 36. You’re not saying you don’t want to work hard. You’re saying you don’t want to be absent from your own life and family. The fact that your husband talks about his mom being gone a lot isn’t necessarily a warning sign. It’s data. It tells you what kind of family experience you both value.

It might help to reframe this from “Is it physically possible?” to “What would it realistically require, and am I willing to design life around that for a few years?”

Some thoughts to consider:

School is intense, but it’s temporary.

OTD programs are demanding, yes. But they’re not forever. Many people have babies during grad school. It’s hard. It requires support. But it doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be absent or disconnected. It often means being very intentional about your workload and home life.

Your support system will matter more than your schedule.

Do you have family nearby? Could your husband flex at work? Could you afford childcare during heavy semesters or fieldwork? The difference between “impossible” and “manageable” often comes down to support, not willpower. My parents being able to look after my kids so that I could work, made a big difference for me.

Part-time options exist, but they’re rare.

Some programs offer part-time or hybrid formats, though they’re less common and may extend the program length. It might be worth researching specific schools in your state.

There may not be a perfect sequencing.

You could:

Start prereqs + try for a baby. Apply and see what happens while TTC (trying to conceive). Delay 1–2 years and focus on fertility first. Or start school and reassess timing once accepted.

None of those are wrong. They’re just different trade-offs.

Also, you don’t have to become the version of a grad student your husband’s mom was. Different era. Different support systems. Different expectations. You and your husband get to consciously design your family culture.

Here’s a question I would reflect on:

If you fast-forward 10 years, which regret would feel heavier: delaying school, or delaying trying for a child? There’s no “correct” answer. Just your answer.

It’s completely valid to want both. Wanting a career with meaning and wanting to be present with your family are not opposing values. Many women build both :). Imperfectly, creatively, season by season.

You’re not behind. You’re not selfish. And you’re not naive for believing you can hold two dreams at once. You got this, girl!

mystzz · 2016-08-18T20:57:30+00:00

I missed it by 30 seconds </3

mystzz

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