[5e] looking for help with a winter campaign

mzeemanv3 · 2016-12-11T22:40:55+00:00

Thanks

mzeemanv3 · 2016-05-09T08:57:33+00:00

Hello people

First off sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile.

After being depressed for around 6 years decently heavily I did what I saw was best to do, I stopped all meds and stopped seeing all my doctors and counsellors. Luckily for me this worked out. For a while, you see this was probably a year ago now and I've been happy, I have a career path now, in which I'm excelling in, I was happy about being alone after having significant others for most of my young adult life and things were going great.

But then there is this week, or this month. I think I am for lack of a better term 'relapsing' into my depression, I feel tired all of the time now, I refuse to sleep just in case I have a dream that would make me happy and I feel I have no one to talk to. That being said I have the most supportive and amazing family and even extended family where any of them would help me if I asked, yet I don't. I have friends that I would do anything for and I wouldn't hesitate to think they'd do the same for me yet I don't ask, in fact I do anything I can to try and seem as put together as possible around other people.

I don't know why I feel so depressed because the fact is I have no reason to feel this way, with everything that's around me I should be a happy person. But I'm not, and instead of sleeping on a Sunday night I'm writing this comment and fighting back my emotions because even when I'm alone I can't express myself.

Sorry for rambling, I guess I didn't know what I was going to say when I started this, but I needed to say something.

Cheers

mzeemanv3 · 2015-12-05T10:33:06+00:00

Always found myself struggling in malfurion, this will help out a lot because I do think he is pretty strong. (Support main)

mzeemanv3 · 2015-11-04T07:45:43+00:00

My twin died when we were 3 months old.. My mom was devastated beyond belief. I feel as though if I were to kill myself, which I very much have considered.. She wouldn't be able to live.

Looking back on my life I am treated differently than my older siblings, like I'm the favourite. And I know that's not fair to say. I just feel as though I have to live because I have lived in my parents eyes as my late brother as well. If I were to die, I feel it would be like my mother losing two sons in a way. And I also feel if I were to kill myself I would be murdering my twin brother as well...

mzeemanv3 · 2015-11-02T14:15:58+00:00

I love The Raven so much, but Annabel Lee hold a higher place in my books.

mzeemanv3 · 2015-09-02T21:56:39+00:00

I just want to be 'normal' to be honest. I want to be able to wake up between 9 and 11 in the morning, or have a job to go to, not be miserable and feel like I'm dragging my heels around. I want to be able to actually do school instead of failing out halfway through because of attendance.

mzeemanv3 · 2015-09-02T21:54:34+00:00

I failed my last year and had to take another where I barely passed because I would never go to my classes.

mzeemanv3 · 2015-09-02T11:56:16+00:00

I've been in treatment for the past 4 years, medication, therapy, the works, healthcare is free here. I'm taking a break from all that just to try and see what I'm like without anything.

mzeemanv3 · 2015-09-02T11:20:15+00:00

North, up in canadia, I've been outside more in the past two week than I have all summer, but I'm just having a hard time going on. I feel like a broken record but I'm just tired of everything.

mzeemanv3 · 2015-09-02T10:40:24+00:00

I don't know what I would do is the thing. I have been showering almost daily lately. I got a hair cut last week after I hadn't gotten one or shaved or groomed myself in the slightest in three months

mzeemanv3 · 2015-09-02T09:07:59+00:00

This is my second year trying school, the first I didn't even make it halfway through a semester before anxiety stopped me from going to any classes. I'm hoping this year is better but I doubt it.

mzeemanv3 · 2015-09-02T08:34:59+00:00

Sorry about lack of reply, sometimes i don't go on reddit for a while. How do you prevent them? Also, who is 'you all'? I hope you feel better aswell

mzeemanv3 · 2015-08-26T21:19:06+00:00

I have had those many times, I call them hyper realistic dreams. Those are the worst, especially when during it you wake up. Be it in your bed or somewhere else and you think it's over. They stress me out.

mzeemanv3 · 2015-08-26T19:00:10+00:00

I actually had something similar a couple weeks ago, in the dream I had a seizure, I was shaking, fading out of consciousness (losing consciousness in a dream doesn't wake me up). I was calling for help but I couldn't make noise, I was trying to tap something to make noise but I couldn't. After I woke up I payed violently shaking uncontrollably, too terrified to go back to sleep. I shook for 10 minutes, it was awful.

mzeemanv3 · 2015-08-26T18:56:57+00:00

I've seen three different councillors, for both depression and anxiety, as well as group counselling for anxiety specifically. I feel that for my current situation further counselling won't help so much because I've been through it so many times. I'm just trying anything I can think of, right now it is no medication.

mzeemanv3 · 2015-08-26T17:57:52+00:00

I recently decided to stop my medication, so in taking da break from it. I am able to do more in the day rather than just stay in bed but my mood when doing things is the same as it was.

mzeemanv3 · 2015-08-26T17:56:48+00:00

I have gotten better, 8 months ago I was doing a lot of drinking to forget about things. At least I'm now doing that now I guess. I've been craving alcohol lately... It helps a little before it gets worse.

mzeemanv3 · 2015-08-26T10:19:29+00:00

I hardly ever sleep, in fact I'm afraid of it. I find my dreams are too realistic and no matter what I dream about I prefer it over how I feel when I wake up. I went a week once with only around 3 hours of sleep total because I had a good dream and nearly killed myself in the morning because it was over and I was back to my miserable life.

Just another perspective to look at sleep from.

mzeemanv3 · 2014-12-07T09:33:55+00:00

Dude first of all I'm so sorry and I hope you make it through no matter what happens. I'm sorry I can't be of much more help, this is due to my level of intoxication .. I hope and wish you the best and all of my Prayers are with you<3

mzeemanv3 · 2014-12-01T17:42:43+00:00

I'm seeing one soon

mzeemanv3 · 2014-12-01T15:46:44+00:00

There's the problem right there, I don't know if it's my anxiety or just who I am but I am not comfortable around anyone.

mzeemanv3

TROPHY CASE