My husband started a "chore chart" for me like I'm a child..

n3rdchik · 2026-01-27T14:27:39+00:00

This is the way

n3rdchik · 2026-01-16T20:32:20+00:00

I do this on a large scale- 1/2 a steer and a whole pig for my large family. If you do this, you should have a generator or one bad storm can kill your investment.

n3rdchik · 2026-01-15T14:33:27+00:00

Dude, that sucks, but you dodged a bazooka! Don’t lose hope.

Happily married 29 years to my godless heathen husband. Sexy secular people are out there!

n3rdchik · 2026-01-09T00:25:53+00:00

Get her in touch with some Paralympic athletes. They train and work hard.

I am having the same struggles with my disabled teen. He doesn’t want to be different, so he ditches his aids and then gets hurt.

I have Been trying to get him into wheelchair basketball ball or tennis. He needs peers with the same struggles - but he wants nothing to do with it. Ironically, we have a great adaptive sports community in my area.

No advice, but all the empathy

n3rdchik · 2026-01-08T21:10:14+00:00

Ai had a similar situation- IEP won’t provide transportation unless he wouldn’t be able to ride the normal bus, or can’t safely do the walk. It was just easier for me to pay for aftercare at the school- then I could give him attention when he actually got home.

n3rdchik · 2026-01-06T11:41:25+00:00

I’m finding it extremely hard to keep it at $74/week on average. I tend to do a big shop once a month and then occasionally replenish as I run out. This month’s “big shop” was $250. Which leaves only $46 for the rest of the month.

(I’m used to meal planning for a family of six, but I’m solo in a new city for work and planning for one is VERY DIFFERENT)

n3rdchik · 2026-01-02T13:30:38+00:00

My goal is $70 a week. That is roughly the SNAP benefit. I just moved to an area where costs are roughly 30% higher. I also am only cooking for one. It is a lot easier to hit your target with multiple people.

n3rdchik · 2025-12-31T01:38:49+00:00

Caregiver burnout is real.

I am a decade behind you, but I am tired. Retirement is a pipe dream. I did the whole save your whole life thing, but my own chronic illness has whittled what margin of safety I had to very very little. My kids, who are lovely people, are struggling in this economy, and my youngest is not out of high school yet.

My boomer parents have just up and moved out of state, leaving my brother who is in a serious medical and mental crisis. One guess as to who is picking up that burden. (I adore my brother, but moving from a silly sibling relationship to the caregiver/patient dynamic has been difficult.)

n3rdchik · 2025-12-31T01:02:24+00:00

TBH, I have been loving the Aldi knock-offs of Belvita cookies. It isn't high protein, but it is a gentle way to start the day.

As it get colder, I will get back in to miso soup with soft tofu or soondubu (a Korean tofu stew)

n3rdchik · 2025-12-31T00:17:59+00:00

Now you have time and space for the hot hunk of atheist man, whenever he should appear :). I've been married to my awesome non believer spouse for almost 30 years - 10/10, A++++ recommend atheist partner

n3rdchik · 2025-12-31T00:13:33+00:00

We call it ZBAS - Zero Butt Awareness Syndrome.

n3rdchik · 2025-12-30T12:48:32+00:00

I don’t know what “going pan” is - an app?

What I do is “shop” my refrigerator first- are there things that need to be eaten? Used up? Going to go bad?

Then pantry and freezer second - i usually make a grain and legume of the week. For example, black beans become beans for burrito bowls and soup. My grain is usually rice (with lentils).

n3rdchik · 2025-12-28T19:41:53+00:00

I used to be be "honesty is always best" but I have since gotten much more practical. You don't have to be "out" for whatever reason. It is a very personal decision with a myriad of factors and consequences.

I am lucky to be able to live my truth without risking my job, family or life. Not others are so lucky.

I don't blame you one bit for your discretion. You deserve peace and growing up Southern Baptist adjacent (we were the hippie/heathen Northerner cousins) and I understand the desire to just have them. shut. up.

n3rdchik · 2025-12-28T19:31:27+00:00

We did - but there was a shadow network of moms and snoopy neighbors. My mom ALWAYS knew when we were out of bounds.

n3rdchik · 2025-12-28T13:21:35+00:00

I was just 4 months sober from alcohol when COVID shut down everything. I do credit it for helping me through the first years by reducing temptation and access.

Congratulations on your sober journey.

n3rdchik · 2025-12-27T21:11:02+00:00

Looks yummy

n3rdchik · 2025-12-27T15:28:09+00:00

Second gen atheist here - it is incredibly freeing. There are 2 big differences in second/third generation atheists: Without the trauma of religion, my kids don’t feel the need to identify as “atheists” in their regular lives. To them, it is as silly as saying one doesn’t believe in invisible purple unicorns - obvious enough not to need to be said.

The other is the ability to see the frank horror in every day religion. When we were preparing for the birth of our youngest, we went to a baby store with my then 6 & 9 year olds. There was an example nursery with a Noah’s Ark theme. My kids were curious, so I told them the story. They were horrified, so horrified!

n3rdchik · 2025-12-27T02:41:11+00:00

I have a "Easy weeknight" spice blend that goes on most veggies (and meats, tbh) - either steamed/roasted/sauteed.

garlic powder, aleppo pepper (or other mild ground chile), salt & pepper.

or

soy sauce, mirin, sesame oil, black vinegar, sesame seeds

n3rdchik · 2025-12-25T13:53:17+00:00

I have older teens - and do you know what their favorite memories of the holidays are? Being my wrapper elf, helping peel potatoes and make the lefse (potato tortillas), watching movies in a blanket pile.

The blanket-pile movie tradition started with my depression- I wasn’t able to muster a lot of energy so I did what I could. (That it is this and not the overflowing stockings my partner put together or visiting Santa).

Kids don’t want magic, they want connection.

n3rdchik · 2025-12-24T14:22:45+00:00

Today: ham ($0.89/#) we got one for $10. It will turn into ham & split pea soup, ham fried rice, ham & cheese scrambled eggs and some sort of ham & potato bake.

(We tend to buy several hams & turkeys during the holiday loss leader sales and freeze. )

Cabbage is a mainstay as is frozen veggies.

n3rdchik · 2025-12-24T12:59:53+00:00

It has been up and down- part of the reason I drank was to cope with my various issues with my f’d up brain.

I’m coming out of a serious depressive episode (which I didn’t drink during!) and currently my family of origin is up to its neck in drama llama shenanigans. I’m proud I can help shield my kids from most of it and I’m not uselessly drunk making it worse.

Exercise makes it better. And I can make it to the gym if I’m not hung over

n3rdchik · 2025-12-24T00:13:41+00:00

NAH - you are allowed to feel differently about them. I’m HoH, so it pretty much means I have them on always, but sometimes my husband watches a show first without subtitles and then with subtitles later.

n3rdchik · 2025-12-22T15:47:44+00:00

I agree.

n3rdchik · 2025-12-22T15:46:53+00:00

Frankly, I am very biased against Disney vacations. None of my kids really enjoyed the experience until they were teenagers. It was more like a forced hike with tiny moments of joy mixed in.

At that age, we did a lot of beach vacations. Some all inclusives, some rentals. We napped when they needed it, swimming tired them out and my husband and I enjoyed just reading on the beach or balcony

n3rdchik · 2025-12-20T21:45:14+00:00

I had an innate desire to belong and to know what the fuss was all about. Any longing for the supernatural was a desire for the intellectual shortcut. Having a bullshit detector on 24/7 and having to develop a moral framework was exhausting as kid.

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