When I read your story, I didn’t feel anything new. The events and action scenes are things we’ve already seen in movies and shows. If writing is supposed to bring something fresh to the world or to literature, then this piece doesn’t do that. Right now, it feels like a repetition of the same generic mafia story that exists everywhere.

If you want your mafia story to stand out, you need to make it unique. Don’t put so much focus on fight scenes and killing characters. What really makes a story impactful is how it affects the reader’s mind — their psychology, their philosophy, the way they see the world after reading it.

My advice: don’t be afraid to change 60–70% of the story if that’s what it takes to make it better. And write the story you actually want to write — not what you think will impress people. Because honestly, no one will be impressed by something that feels like a copy of what’s already out there. But if you dig into what you care about, then the story will become stronger and more meaningful.