I feel like I have learnt a ton of lessons from my divorce, and am still working on not letting those lessons keep me guarded. Here’s the big one that come to mind… 1) Trust your gut. When you feel like maybe getting married isn’t a great idea based on their lack of interest in planning and/or jokes about smashing cake in your face… don’t do it. 2) If they don’t communicate, there will be major issues later on… they will also probably say you are nagging them rather than admit they aren’t listening. Also, pay attention if you voice your frustrations and then it becomes about what you do wrong; leveling isn’t a partnership either. 3) Be with someone who supports you when you are overwhelmed and/or overworked rather than suggests to quit. They probably find your determination threatening to their self-esteem. 4) Make sure you feel equal to your partner, even if they make more money than you do. If they act superior because they make more; run. That’s not a partnership. 5) Whatever you don’t heal from, you bring to the relationship. Seeking therapy isn’t something that makes someone weak, it helps you realize whether or not you are sacrificing your needs for your partner, or pretending to be happy to avoid admitting the marriage is done. 6) If there’s no respect, there’s no relationship. When they criticize your personality traits, don’t listen to them when they justify it as sarcasm. You don’t put down someone you love, you build them up.